What would you tell someone to try to help make them feel better if they were concerned and hearing that their ex is badmouthing them?

So sorry this is happening to your friend. This happened to my brother by his ex wife and I was absolutely furious! The lies she spewed were outrageous. I wanted to hurt her.
But his clearer head prevailed. He ignored the lies and rumors she spread, and eventually they died down. If there were people that believed them, then they weren’t really friends and didn’t really know my brother.
So that would be my advice to tell your friend. That the gossip will die down and his true friends won’t believe the lies. Reassure him what a fine person you know him to be.

I think your advice is spot on, @chyna. I would be very careful about saying anything negative about her. If he says anything negative about her, just listen with sympathetic ears. Bad words about her could come back to haunt you if they manage to get back together or if they become friends after the dust settles.

Tell them to take high road and ignore what she is saying. When the friends and family compare the truth with her stories they’ll get the connection fast.

Lots of good advice. His friends and relatives will compare him to what she is saying, and realize that he is a stand up guy. As long as he doesn’t try to get even, it will be better i the long run. Mutual friends will eventually tell her to not say anything if she can“t say something nice.

“You know, you could pay a junkie to stab her with a dirty needle for $10”

Serious answer: Don’t let it bother you, it’s called running scared, the truth always comes out in the end, and she will end up the loser in the long run.

To just know that it is not true themselves and to move on.

In addition to all of the above, I would tell him to stay out of her “gutter” and move on. I would also say—if you believe in it—that Karma will pay her a call one day.

Sounds like the girl really misses him?
All he has to resond is..“Apparently I was good enough to live with, but not good enough to brakup with on good terms”.?

Here’s an update from the Update Lady: This guy decided to go back to the girlfriend, after about a month away. I guess, despite the Order of Protection (issued when she had him arrested after she drove him crazy), she was calling him and alternately pleading and then sometimes being mean and nasty, but on one occasion it must have gotten to him and they spoke and they’re reuniting. It’s not my relationship so I can’t judge but my opinion is it’s crazy, but again, not for me to judge.

Ummm hummmm. I told you so.