When a fellow jelly offends you with a question or an answer do you let it go or hold a grudge?

Ignoring that I would flag or remove an offensive post and focusing on how I would view the poster, there are some comments that would influence how I view that person in future. If it’s a major offence, and a person was very cruel or racist or something like that, it would tell me something about who they are in real life and it would influence how I view them. If it was a minor thing, I would probably see it as them having a bad day and not let it affect my broader view of them. So, it really depends on the offence and my awareness of their historic attitudes.

Meh. We’re all different and react to things within our realm of experience.

I have people on Fluther whom I adore mostly, knock me off-kilter for a second when they don’t “fall in” to my expectations.

Usually, that leads to my respecting them more.

Depends. Most of the time I let it go, but if I feel personally attacked by that jelly, I may avoid them (and their questions) for a few days until I get over it. This has only happened once or twice, though. Then again, there are certain people who have viewpoints that have changed how I once felt about them and I now know to take their advice with a grain of salt or just brush off certain comments they make.

No one has offended me on Fluther in a really long time. As for those who have in the past, I let it go. At least they were able to speak their minds, even if they risked hurting other people’s feelings in the process. I think it’s much better for people to say what they actually think than to try to impress other people, but not be true to themselves. It’s nice when people feel safe enough to say what’s on their minds instead of walking on eggshells. Even if you would rather avoid them as much as is appropriate, oh well… you know they are the kind of person you’d like to avoid because they made their views known. If they kept their opinions to themselves, you might have never known. You as in anyone, not necessarily OP.

If I’m really honest I have to say that I’m somewhere in between. If someone says something really offensive I look at their future answers with a little more critical eye and don’t always just take them at face value like I do most answers.
Sometimes I read an answer and get ready to give a GA and realize, “oh, THEY WROTE THAT?.” I still give it but with a little grumble under my breath.
Just being honest folks. I wish I were a better person.

I think about going back in time often. How I’d love to sit in on the Algonquin round table or be a go-fer in a Florence studio in the days before the bonfire of the vanities.

Then I think about bringing one of those people forward with me. “See this thing, the size of a deck of tarot cards? With it, I can argue with strangers all over the world! If they disagree… I defriend them!! What do you think of that?”

If it only happens once in awhile, I just ignore it. If it happens a lot, I put that person on my imaginary block list and skip their submissions.

@Judi you totally described my feelings about the situation and my process! I lurve your answer!

I consider the source. And by doing that I mentally record their weakness of character and then I may use subtle statements carefully concealed in a response knowing this prick will fall on it.

Neither. I don’t let it go and I don’t hold a grudge. I file it away. It tells me something about them and it’s not conclusive. They may get back into “my good graces” and they may not. I am constantly reassessing. But there are certain inexcusable, almost unforgiveable offenses. For these I reserve the right to “cut them off”. It’s similar to being banned, shunned. They no longer have power to hurt me or offend me. For me, they don’t exist anymore.

I let it go.

Of course. But it’s never over trivial things.

I let it go usually.

Generally I let it go but there is sometimes that it seems like a particular jelly is being a douche wherever I answer/ask questions. In those cases I just tend to ignore them but privately hate on em for a while then over time those feelings fade too as I realize the opinions of someone I’ve never/will never meet on the internet really doesn’t matter.

Still though, sometimes I take the bait and reply to the “attack”.

Aren’t questions put forth for the general Fluther public? Why would anyone take them personally? If I don’t like the question or am offended by it, I move on. I may not be as quick to look more deeply into another question by the same person, but that’s all. However, I do know of one jelly who didn’t stick around because she was offended by questions of a sexual nature. I wouldn’t criticize her for that, but it seemed kind of silly to me.It takes all kinds.

A grudge?

I hold grudges like Sagittarius A will be holding the stars of the Milky Way in its orbit, for billions of more years. :-o

In terms of Fluther, I only hold a grudge until my myriad alternate user ID’s drive the offender to delete their account. :-)

I’ve never been so upset by one question or answer that it’s done much to change my entire opinion of a member. I figure they were having an off day or were clueless that what they said was offensive or they just feel very strongly about one particular thing that I can’t support. In those cases, I can engage with them again pretty much immediately.

If they have a history of behaving in ways that I find offensive, I do view them through that filter when interacting with them. But there is literally no one here that I refuse to engage with altogether even if I think they are generally a horrible person. If I can answer their question, or add something to their discussion, I will. If they have an answer to my question, or can add to my discussion, I welcome their participation. They get GAs and GQs from me when they deserve one.

I let it go. What am I, some kind of princess? People are not out to please me, nor should they think about me whenever they’re typing something. I ignore and let it go. I’m not going to hold a grudge against the person. The only time I will retaliate or otherwise react is if something was obviously directed at me, just to piss me off. Then draw your sword, fucker! Yaaar mang.

Doesn’t bother me one bit, it’s only faceless junkies on the tinterwebz anyway.
Bearing grudges over such things is petty, crass & beneath me.

If you expect people you like to have EVERYTHING in common with you, then you’re going to be quite lonely. People are going to ask questions and give answers you don’t like. Some will do this more often than others. I’d fight with my own mother on this site if she posted here. We agree on almost nothing political, social or religious these days. That doesn’t mean I don’t love her and respect her.

I have people I consider friends on this site and others that I have gotten into really nasty fights with. I don’t hold it against them and I don’t beat myself up. People can surprise me with their hot buttons and I assume I can surprise them now and then. If your friendship can’t handle a tussle now and then, it’s not a strong friendship.

However, there are people who just rub me the wrong way here and on other sites. I try to read the questions and answers without looking at the icons. Sometimes I will see an answer that I find totally offensive or obnoxious and think “Oh man. Who would write something so horrible out in public where anyone could read it? Who would admit to having such a vile opinion?” and you know what, it’s almost ALWAYS the same person. Sometimes I swear this person has the psychic ability to detect what I would get offended with and then post it. I sometimes wish there were killfiles here so I could just not read anything that person wrote. But ehh…. what can you do?

There have been a few jellies that just give me the creeps. Nothing they said here would PROVE they were creepy, I just get that eew ick feeling in my gut thinking, “thank God I never have to be alone with this person.” The odds are that a preditor or two would show up here occasionally. There are plenty in the real world.
I haven’t seen any of them around in a while though so don’t worry. I’m probably not talking about you.

You’re either with me or you’re with the terrorists.

@SuperMouse . . . i would only hold a grudge against you if your avatar was to change . . .

I’ve definitely learnt that if you either stand up to the ‘wrong’ person on here (like a popular one), write a dissenting opinion (not an attack, just a different opinion) or even ask the ‘wrong’ type of question that some users on here will hold a grudge against you. I try not to follow that type of behavior pattern and I’ll generally lurve people whom I’ve gotten into arguments or disagreements with.