Does your family member's perceptions of  you take you by surprise at times?

Of course. Anytime you meet someone new, whether in the family or not, they aren’t going to know much about you. (Unless they associate with people who have a lot to say about you.)
-Family finding out that I like spicy food.
-New friends finding out my diet is primarily starch and veggies.
-Family that it turns out don’t even know how to play chess, friends who you wouldn’t expect to, turn out to be decent players.
-Finding out what was the root of one friend’s drinking problem, and why another started smoking.
-Family that doesn’t know that outside of your lives with them, you learned how to do some basic electrical wiring and home repair.

Everyone has things that others don’t know about them, that’s what makes spending time together and getting closer so great. There are more layers to each person than we care to imagine.

yeah! I’m always stunned when I treat my lil sis nicely and she seems very touched. (I don’t understand why, ‘cos it’s my sisterly duty to take care of her. ;D) my dad seems to be surprised that I practise a martial art now. I guess he’s just really used to eleven years of me and ballet.

I was quite surprised by my grandmother last year. I went over to the UK, and while I was there I visited her for a few days and stayed at her place.

I used to think of her as a nice homely little old lady that enjoys baking and knitting, but on a trip to the post office with her that was all changed, when I heard her say to the man behind the counter “Listen to me you black bastard” before issuing her complaint.

When she found out that my girlfriend is Asian, she said “just be careful David, you know what they are like” and when she found out my gym instructor was from the middle east, she said “don’t let him talk you in to joining his jihad, they are looking for white people now”.

Seeing as she uses skype at the grand age of 82, and googles knitting patterns and is not old in the mind, I expected her to be more modern, but it turns out she is old school white.

I don’t think so. We spend a lot of time together are we are pretty honest and open together. I can’t think of anything that would surprise me or them.

My sister was out of work and I got her a temp gig at a place I was working. I think she was shocked to see me at work and what I knew and did.

It changed her life. She had been working in the insurance industry and I worked in high technology. She changed where she looked for jobs after that.

Sometimes.

My mother asked me recently, “Why would someone do something for you? You don’t do anything for anyone else.”

…lovely.

Reminds me of what a woman I worked with told me.
She and her teeenage daughter were in the car and the daughter was flipping through the radio stations (kinda dates this doesn’t it) when she came upon a popular song and stopped to listen. She was blown away when her mom started singing along with it and said something like “Mom! How do you know this song, you don’t like my music?” Mom had to tell her, “Dear, this song was hot before you were even born. This is a remake”. Daughter had a whole new mom-paradigm to absorb.

@livelaughlove21 Dang, that’s pretty harsh, sister. :(

My friends have mom’s like that, but my mom always tries to build me up, not tear me down. If it’s something I’ve done wrong, it’s a discussion, like “I noticed the other day you didn’t talk to Gary when we were all here, why is that?” then “Well, it hurt his feelings, and I hope you’ll be more cognizant of that in future.”

@KNOWITALL My mom has some mental health issues and sometimes she’s kind and other times she’s downright mean. I got angry after she said this and she tried to play it off as if it was meant as a joke, which it wasn’t. She thinks I am selfish and have no compassion for others. She’s a very hard person to get along with and soon she’ll discover that it’s only her I’ve lost compassion for.

It’s a complicated situation, to say the least.

I’m not very good at self-promotion apparently. Add to that, many people in my family are both presumptuous and opinionated. This is to answer, “yes” — it has happened to me a lot. It’s partially my own fault, but I’m just not inclined to actively educate my family about me.

I feel that if anyone truly cares about me, they’ll make the time to get to know me — which most of them don’t.

@rojo Yes, my kids didn’t know that the song Lady Marmelade was a remake, or that the movie Lost in Space used to be a corny TV show.

I wish.

Thanks jellies. @livelovelaugh21 so sad to hear this about the way your mum treats you.

I am always singling and my girls also are surprised how many songs I know.

I too can relate to the ‘song’ idea. I remember my son and his friends as young teens being in the back of the car. They started singing this song that they though I wouldn’t know. It was a rude song and I finished a line for them and said, ‘and that’s as far as that song is going to go’. They were stunned I knew it. My kids are occasionally amazed if I understand some of their lingo (and not surprised when I don’t and give them a blank look).

Mostly I’m an open book so I don’t think people are terribly unaware of who I am or the things I get up to. My kids were also bemused when my husband told them I used to write erotic stories. He called it porn. I think that might have been a little too much information for them!

Haha Bellatrix, my kids don’t like hearing any dating or relationships stuff about me. Except about one guy I didn’t marry who they thought would have been a good choice!

My anti psychotics give me anorexic like symptoms.

So recently since my pills have been upped I seem to go for a couple of days without eating. I know it is not normal, I know it is not healthy but I can’t help it.

Anyway, my mother told me to “change my brain” :/ lmao and “turn it off.” I was like “Mom! If I could turn it off I would, but it is a symptom. So that would be like if the pills were to give me hives as a symptom the only way to stop the hives would be to stop taking them.” So she says “then stop taking them”. “Oh ok I will just go insane then”.

I have just recently moved my mother in with me and this has made me realize that she has never actually seen the full extent of my bipolar episodes and I don’t actually think she understands how bad I have actually been emotionally.

My son who lives 1200 miles away thinks I still sit around and worry about him every second. He thinks I live for him to call me and ask for help.
He can’t imagine that I have a life outside of him. He’s 28. He’s nuts.

My grandmother gives me way too much credit, and thinks I’m way stronger and smarter than I actually am. At one point I tried explaining it to her that I’m not what she thinks, but she just wouldn’t have it, and thinks I lack self esteem and stuff. I love the fuck out of her, but I’m done arguing lol. I don’t know what image she has of me, frankly. But to be fair, both of us live in different countries, and have not seen one another face to face for the past 15 years. A lot of stuff can go by unnoticed in that type of situation, although we do talk on the phone and send each other letters constantly.

And I also wanted to take the chance to say that, because of this question, I now know where that one episode from King of the Hill came from…the one where Hank really can’t shoot a riffle worth a damn. I genuinely thank you for this. :) Satire and references always make my day when I learn their sources.

@Symbeline glad you got the reference thing, I think there are heaps of references back to TKaMB. I’d be pretty ok if my family thought the way your gran thinks of you.

@Judi that’s hysterical, grown up kids they still think your life revolves around their universe!

@Nofurbelowsbatgirl good luck with your new living arrangement I do hope she gets it that those meds are a really important kart of your life :)

@Arewethereyet Thanks. My mom actually is quite easy to get along with. She is the most kind and generous person. I am the youngest of three kids and the only one in the position to help my mother out. I think I am the only one that gives a damn about her. I started to notice that after my dad passed she was going down hill health wise and it was then I made the choice.

My mother has never been on her own seriously! she met my dad at 17 and moved out of her family home at 18 when she got married they were together for 44yrs and I knew while I was watching her she was making all the wrong choices and she had an “I don’t care” attitude. I decided she needed an intervention. I asked her to move in. She must of wanted to because we were living together within months. Now her attitude seems much better and we are going to the gym :)) We get along great she just doesn’t like my eating habits lol what can I say I guess we are not all that different come to think of it..lol.

Btw, anorexic like symptoms are not pretty :/ I can go days without eating and I literally look at food and either feel full or I have absolutley no craving or appetite for it. But then after a few days I binge eat because I’m so damn hungary, but I never purge because I don’t have bulimic symptoms thank god!

The doctor says the pill can turn something off in my brain that signals appetite. I don’t know but it is a major set back. I just can’t have it all and just be normal this disorder sucks.

However these pills do work on my emotions and I have probably tried every pill out there :/ I have explained ALL of this to my mother. Maybe she just thinks if the pills can make me feel better then they should make me want to eat too.

Wow you’re circumstances sound pretty full on, I’m glad you’re able to help your mum out. I’m in a similar situation caring for my mum who is living with dementia.