Does it seem feasible, that some couple might want to adopt me?

Welcome to Fluther.

Assuming you’re old enough to be here (at least 13, last time I saw the guidelines), then you need to face the fact that it’s going to be tough for you as an older child to be adopted in any case. That’s not to say “impossible”, but… unlikely.

Aside from that, though, I didn’t see anything at all stupid about your question. I don’t think Your sexual orientation will not matter a damn to the right people.

I hope you find the parents that are looking for you; parents who are worthy of you. Good luck with that.

@CWOTUS I actually don’t want to talk about how old I am. Heh.

I’m probably too old for most families to be interested in this, but I never had the sort of nurturing that I needed. Don’t get me wrong, my parents did really great… But they were raising a little boy. They were raising a mask that I learned to wear at an extremely early age.

So how old are you?

Your desire, while not common, is at least understandable. Although I come from a stable traditional family, my parents moved overseas when I was 19, and it was nice to have a couple of “mentors” who were my parents age that I could talk to if necessary.

Do you know any older people that could fill that role?

One idea, depending on where you are, is to post an ad on craigslist.

Welcome to Fluther. (:

I’m assuming you’re a teenager so, I would say it’s probably going to be a little trickier for you to be adopted. But, it’s possible!

I think it’s feasible that a couple would want to adopt you. I would think that your personality is the most important factor they will consider. I should think it would be easier for you to announce to a new set of parents, “Actually, I’m not a boy, I’m a girl,” than it would be to tell parents who have nurtured and loved and catered to a boy all ‘his’ life. While birth parents may be shocked, adoptive parents (especially if you tell them straight away) may be mildly surprised but I think they’d be able to adapt to the idea quicker.

Good luck with everything. I hope you find some lovely parents who love and accept you for who you are.

You may well want to find caring roommates or an accepting community to live in but I doubt you can find new parents to take you in if you are an adult.

@zenvelo : I so don’t want to give a precise number, but you’ve got the right idea.I know a few people, but I also suffer from severe paranoia and anxiety. The people I know who would be helpful for that seem so unreachable when I need them, and when I /can/ reach them I have difficulty trusting them.

I was thinking about posting a craigslist ad, but I really don’t know how such an ad should read. ._.

Welcome to Fluther. You are veru welcome here.

Your desire is totally understandable, but a positive outcome is unlikely.

You might try nurturing yourself. Consider reading the book Self-Parenting.

Good luck with your transformation into the person you were meant to be.

@lookingglassx3 : There are very few things I would not give, to be able to go back and tell my birth parents when I was four or five. That would have been better, even if they had rejected it like I was afraid of, I would have been out in my own mind. And that would have helped a lot, growing up.

@janbb : Concept accepted, thank you.

@marinelife :Thanks for the link! I appreciate that concept… Heck, that’ll probably work best.

Are you also dealing with autism?

@gailcalled : A lot of what I experience can be characterized as part of the autistic spectrum. Of course it can also be attributed to schizoaffective disorder or a simple combination of OCD, anxiety disorder, panic attacks and mild hallucinations. >_> I see a psychiatrist for the first time this month. I am hoping they will be able to shed some light on what happens in my brainmeat.

@kuddlykittie: Whoa. Good luck. Have you not had dealings with a psychiatrist before this? Where did the confusing and overlapping diagnoses come from?

I don’t want to judgmental or mean-spirited. I only want to helpful.

Life is like a boat going up a river. The wake of the boat is the past. The water in front of the boat is the future. The driving force that let the boat go up the river is the boat’s engine. If the boat has a malfunction problem you don’t look at the wake of the boat for a solution. The wake is the past and has nothing to do with the way the functioning of the boat in the present. If you keep looking to the past for answers to your present problems then you are looking in the wrong area.

Good health to you.

@gailcalled : I’ve seen a few therapists on my road to getting hooked up with the psychiatrist I’ll be seeing on the fourteenth. Each one has agreed with the previous and then said, “But it also might be _______.”

@gondwanalon :

:) Don’t worry. I always try to stay optimistic and positive.This whole idea is about looking forward, though. About creating a new foundation, if that makes sense.

@gondwanalon : If a building has a poor foundation, you either rip it all out and replace it or start fresh after examining the old foundation to learn what /not/ to do. : )

@kuddlykittie I grew up in terrible conditions. My Dad died when I was 4. My Mom would not accept assistance from the State or anyone so she was always working or sleeping. I was the baby boy and my two older sisters were expected to take care of me. But they were mean and ridiculed me most of the time. My life was total pure pandemonium with no adult supervision. Nothing made sense to me. I was lazy and would lie, steal and cheat as well as had a violent temper. I did very poorly in school and flunked 2nd grade. When I was in the 4th grade I had a teacher who would not put up with any of my nonsense and I quickly learned that it was easier to work hard and do good than it was to to be lazy and do bad as I took control of my life. That was very empowering and motivating for me. I dumped the past and let it drowned in my wake as I started to realize my potential. I’m no great success story but I’ve lead a successful and happy life.

Forget about examining a crumbling foundation. Move on and build a new strong one yourself. You know what to do. You can do it.

@kuddlykittie : Welcome to Fluther.
I am trans too by the way, but in the opposite direction from you.
I can sympathize with fantasizing about having a different family. My parents only accepted me as long as I pretended to be someone who didn’t embarrass them and challenge their egos.
I think the above suggestions about finding older adults who could be your mentors might be very useful. Mentors can be so wonderful, and older trans people especially might be willing to mentor you. Are there any support groups in your local community especially for trans people?
Also, finding a group of friends who support you can make all the difference. I know I wouldn’t have gotten through a rough adolescence without some wonderful friends.
Please PM me if you would like to talk more. Peace.

Do you have parents currently?