Can you have a dead "soul mate"?

Welcome to Fluther.
I think that you are probably just relating to this singers music at a time that you need something to get you through the day. The fact that you two have similar backgrounds really helps you to relate to him too.
If listening to his music and thinking about him diverts your attention from your problems for a while, I don’t see anything wrong with it.
But in the long term, I think it would be helpful for you to find someone to talk to, maybe a psychiatrist to help you deal with your depression.
Good luck.

Welcome to Fluther.

I’m glad you asked this question. Thank you.

The short answer is no. The idea of having a soul mate—to me personally—is rather depressing. It means I have to search and search for the one single right person for me. It means I have to miss all the fun of meeting lots of different people to get to know and love.

You can have lots in common with a person and not be right for each other as far as having a loving relationship is concerned.

If you believe in Hinduism as you say you do, then you also know that things happen for a reason. You will meet the right person when the time is right.

Welcome to Fluther.

Now I’m not going to differentiate with your belief in “soul mates.” I do in fact believe there are multiple people out in the world that you can fall in different stages of love with. There are the little loves and the deepest of loves. And I do believe the highest stage of love can only be achieved with what is called the “soul mate.” I do believe the other deep levels of love lower than the soul mate actually have thousands of people that can make you feel almost the same way as your soul mate would. So I wouldn’t see it as the end of day just because he passed and possibly could’ve been your soul mate.

However, I do believe that soul mates help us see a brighter future rather than remind us of our troubled pasts. So my question for you is does listening to his music make you feel better or does it remind you of your past?

Yeah, yeah. I’m not throwing it out that the the thing yesterday was an anxiety attack and I just have depression and I’m relating to him. I don’t know how to describe it to other people without sounding completely crazy and uneducated.

And of course…I wouldn’t miss out on relationships because of a proposed “soul mate”. I’ve just tried “relationships” with guys I know and it’s very difficult for me. I always find it hard to relate and I end up putting up a barrier. And I’ve never felt a sort of connection with them.
I’ve also had “celebrity crushes” and they usually last a week and it’s all based on aesthetics or if they’re “funny”. This one’s different. I didn’t have to see him or know much about him, he just felt right (now I think I sound weird :[ )

It’s just something I think about.

@JoeyOhSoClever I don’t really think of my past when listening to his songs. It seems like I stumble on a song when I need it most. They help me with problems I’m having. When I have anxiety I listen to his albums for awhile and eventually mellow out without the need for medication. In fact, yesterday I really wanted to raid my Xanax prescription and literal lyric in a song said that taking drugs won’t make “you” feel better. But listening to it inadvertently makes me depressed because he’s, well…very much dead.

While I think you can have a connection and also feel a deep connection, I would wonder what the purpose of retaining that would be?
I am not dismissing that you may have some alignment on many things, but what good is it serving you if it is something that causes you depression?
I knew someone who during a depressive state in their life aligned themselves with the TV character Sydney Bristow from Alias. While it may have served a purpose for them emotionally and mentally during that time, what real purpose did it serve.
Whether you believe in it or not, I would ask yourself “what purpose in your life does it really serve you”?

@Feta Ok well that’s good. I don’t think what you’re saying is weird at all I think connections you have with people can always stay with you regardless if their physical body passes. You can allow him to live through you by merging his soul with yours. That sounds a bit weird lol. But honestly everything you connected with him was all mental his words,his thoughts, his experiences basically his soul. So if you keep that with you and move on in life he will in a sense have only physically died but his soul is now apart of yours so you can look at it as he’s still living.

@blueiiznh Well, it’s not the idea of having a soul mate that’s depressing (granted, I’ve been depressed for a really long time, even before I had a face for this guy). It’s the fact that the one I found isn’t tangible.

Right now, it’s a sense of relief that there was someone that once existed that I can relate/connect to. It’s like finally my theoretical “soul” is in use and I can feel a connection with someone and I never have before. That’s the part that’s cool. I just don’t like that I finally find this person and I’m “too late” so to speak.

@Feta I am very happy for you that you have been able to come to some deep level of sense with and for this person. That in itself is very tangible for you I am suspect. I am sure you will or have gone headlong into an even deeper discovery.
I truly hope that you are open to the fact that there may also be a soul-mate in your current space and time.

Welcome to Fluther. It sounds as if this fantasy relationship is meeting a lot of your needs. But that is all it is—a fantasy.

You never knew him. You cannot find out what he was really like just from surface facts about his life. He may have been a cruel, terrible or selfish person that you wouldn’t have liked at all.

By tying yourself to him as a “soul mate,” you are cutting yourself off from real life and real relationship opportunities.

I think you could use some therapy to put this whole thing in perspective and to determine if you need medication for depression.