How would you handle girlfriend who is a showoff?

Not sure why anyone would want to save a relationship with someone who would throw a fit and walk out when trying to discuss feelings. But I think your friend handled it well. He waited until he was in private with his girlfriend and told her how he felt.

This is a basic respect situation. I would tell her up front “I don“t like the way you treat me when we’re with your friends.”

The question for you is, is the relationship worth saving? Do you get more out of it than what bothers you about this behavior? Will it become a point of resentment? I ask this because she may not like your criticism, or she may get pissed off. So, either be honest and direct about it, and maybe have the whole thing end, or suck it up and live with it.

If she really wants to be with you, she’ll change her behavior and make sure she treats you well.

I’m not sure that it would be a relationship worth saving.

I’d stress out, and become absorbed in all the insecurities of my immaturity. I’d stay up at night worrying about it, and make it the main topic of conversation amongst my private friends. It would consume me to the point of questioning my manhood. My friends would support my feelings about it to my face. But behind my back, they’d talk about how pussy whipped I really am. I would loose their respect, on a deeper level… and deep down inside, knowing this, I’d talk about it more and more, complaining until my feelings were justified for insisting that another person be the way I want them to be, rather than accepting them for how they really are.

Oh yeah, I’d make it bad for everyone. No need for me to carry the burden of pain alone. Girly friend isn’t acting the way I need her to, so that I can feel good about myself. Unacceptable! I spend good money and my time on her. She better start acting right.

But no way would I ever settle for admiring her unique personality traits, and conforming my attitude to one of loving acceptance. No way. That would require me to grow and mature… and feel good about myself because of myself, instead of how someone else acts. Ridiculous thought.

No way would I ever love and accept her for who she is… And if she isn’t for me, move along as respectful friends… and enjoy the free time to discover myself on the merit of myself alone. No way man… She must conform to my will, my world. Because I live in fairy tale land, and that’s how things are in fairy tale land… my way.

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies I have missed you!
ummm, perhaps just a tad too sarcastic, ya think?

Wear a black rectangle over your eyes whenever you are together.

This is not a healthy relationship from the sounds of it.
If you can’t be open, honest and comfortable to bring it up to her then I think that says it all.

Find out the underlying reasons “WHY”?

It’s hard to give you a definite answer because you don’t give much information to go by and what you do say might be you misinterpreting her behavior.

Firstly, and logically, if you care about her and when she’s alone with you she seems to care about you, then talk to her about it. You are calling her a showoff. What about “ignoring” and “being bossy” amounts to “showing off”?

Let’s take ignoring first. When she’s with her friends it cannot be the same as when you two are alone together. You can’t have her undivided attention. Maybe this bothers you more than it should or maybe she really is ignoring you. I can’t judge that without being there.

As for being bossy-What does she do that is bossy? Command you to do things for her? Or ask in a way that’s polite? Do you think she’s making fun of you? Trying to make you look subservient? What are you ideas about equality in a relationship? Are you the type of man who thinks that the man is the “boss”? Are you being too sensitive, perhaps? I’m not saying that you are. Don’t get me wrong. I’m just trying to get a little more info to go by as well as asking you to look at your own behavior.

Now, as for “showing off” we all have different ideas about what constitutes showing off. Some people are really comfortable and extroverted when out with a group. They get louder, funnier, more animated. It could be called showing off or it could be accepted as a vibrant personality. (Some people say bubbly, I hate that term!) If that is her personality and she means no offense to you, then maybe she’s not the girl for you.

But do talk to her if you care about saving your relationship. Calmly explain to her what things you find disrespectful and annoying. I don’t think it’s fair to say that a person has to be the same when you’re alone vs. in groups. It’s a different social dynamic. At any rate, she will either be willing to change or not. Then you go from there. A positive relationship needs to have respect flowing in both directions. Make sure you respect her for who she is and that you ask for (I don’t want to say demand, it sounds bossy) respect in return.

Good luck!

^^ Take the advice of this brilliant woman.