What do you think about this list of 50 things women should know how to do by age 50?

Isn’t that a little sexist? Shouldn’t they know that before they get out of their teens?
Edit: I’m not attacking you, but it just seems like basic life skills. Just putting that out there. Anyone can feel free to go after my views.

I’m glad to see “Open a bottle of champagne” made the list.

All such lists are silly and often offensive to me. Most of the “skills” that made the list are things that humans should know. If there were an absolute authority capable of providing to me those things that I should “know,” I’d hope more activities would involve self-awareness, kindness, charity, selflessness, etc. and not the type of crap on this list.

I suppose these are well-intentioned; but I can’t imagine an intelligent human comparing him/herself to these types of laundry lists.

Frivolous nonsense. Just what I’ve come to expect from Huffington Post.

This is one of those things that a writer can complete in 5 minutes. It should be seen as “I had nothing else to submit”. Top 10 or 50 lists are total rubbish – and this one is particularly bad.

After reading the list, I had to scroll back up to see if a man wrote the article. The majority of it sounds like the things a stereotypical “little woman” makes her man do for her. Plunge a toilet, change a flat, flip a breaker – all useful skills, but the whole list sounded sexist to me. Everyone should know these things, not just women.

51: Ignore Shelley Emling.

@JLeslie That is a GQ. It makes us think for a bit. Nice job.

Where’s the list for men? Should theirs be the same?

@marinelife It would also include make the bed and put the seat down and have an intimate coversation. (But also in their teens.)

Seems like a random and somewhat sexist list. I’ve done everything on that list and would offended be if someone asked me if I’d done them “as a woman”. What’s that got to do with anything?

When my girlfriend posted the link on facebook, this was my response “So many of those seem so basic it is almost offensive they are on the list. Offensive is too strong a word, but imagine if that list was 50 things men should know by 50. I wonder how men would react if the list was targeted to them?”

So, I felt like many of you who answered her. Interestingly my friend and some of her friends misunderstood my intent with my comment and suggested I write a list for men, that it might be funny. But, I don’t think the list for women was funny. What I meant was that exact list just change the word women to men.

Right. Not only could you easily switch “women” to “men”, it really is a bad list for people. That’s the nature of this crap. There are countless things that people know how to do by age 50. If you were tasked with coming up with the top 50, how would you even start? And what would be the goal of these things? 50 things to increase chances of happiness? 50 things to increase financial success? 50 things for white suburban upper-middle class people? The options are endless.

What you usually get with these types of lists is what you see – the items apply to everyone and nobody. Anyone can jump into that list and say, “right on, I know how to do that” or “I really should know how to do that” and that’s the end of it. But what is left out, and who the shit cares about what this one person thinks are the top 50 things we should know by age 50? Where are the citations? Where is the data?

Look, I get it. We all have deadlines and we need to make a living. Shelley is a writer, and likely has an agreement to publish something to the Huffington Post every x days (she’s the editor of “Post 50” there). Many writers fall victim to the “top x” posts. They are easy. They are too easy and meaningless.

The results came from posts on the HuffPo Facebook page? If so, it is interesting to see what the segment of the population who follow HuffPo and Shelley’s blog think. It wasn’t a scientific study or even close. I think it was done in a light hearted manner and the results show that and that is how it should be taken. Silly and fun(ny).

more lowest common denominator heterosexcapitalism for upper-middle class white people.
Yeah, I agree with @tom_g : this was just written because she had to submit something for a deadline.

@tom_g The thing is, most of those things would never make it on a men’s list, because of course they know and do all those things.

nr. 51: make your husband a sandwich.

@JLeslie: “The thing is, most of those things would never make it on a men’s list, because of course they know and do all those things.”

So, I’m confused. Is the list a male-generated list? That is, is it meant to be a guide for women to “fill in the gaps” to bring them closer to what men already know?

Additionally, am I supposed to ask question my manhood because I can’t do many of these things (like 7, 9, 11, 13, 14, 15, 16, 19, 21, 30, 33, 38, 42, 43, 48, 49)?

Any list that applies to women will likely say more about the author’s view of women (and men) then reflect actual skills that women and men hold, and the variation that exists. This list is specific to a certain demographic, it’s too generic to be meaningful, and honestly seems to fill tons of spots on the list with garbage rather than skills that very few of us have – but should.

@JLeslie : That list is not about what men think women should do… It’s about what a certain culture teaches is appropriate for the genders.

My dad couldn’t change a spare tire, program the TV, or do anything related to plumbing if his life depended on it, and he’d sooner starve to death than carve a turkey.

But thanks for sending me to the Huffington Post, because I just found this picture of Katherine Hepburn riding a skateboard O_O

@tom_g I had to go back and read the list again. I realize now I focused on the items that I think would never be said to men. Eat alone, book your own travel, and the big one, say no without guilt, plus others. Would anyone think to say those to a man by the time he is 50?

Then there is things like be able to sew a little. Would someone say that to man? I actually think men and women should be able to sew a little. Sew on a button, repair a small opening in a seem at minimum. But, I am not sure it would make it on a list for men.

Uhm I’m not really sure what world the women who put the list together live in, but I can do (and have done) a great deal of what’s on the list and I’m only 24. It seems to me that the list is geared towards women who lead sheltered lives and need to get out of their comfort zones, not your typical, hard-working, 21st century woman. And what’s with number 49 (“Look good in a photo”)?

@JLeslie: “I realize now I focused on the items that I think would never be said to men. Eat alone, book your own travel, and the big one, say no without guilt, plus others. Would anyone think to say those to a man by the time he is 50?”

Would or should? I’m not sure what you are saying here? Are you asking if Shelley would write that on a list for men? Do you think this is something that should make it to a “top 50” for men and women? I’m not following you.

@JLeslie: “Then there is things like be able to sew a little. Would someone say that to man?”

Ummm…yes? Right?

That’s ridiculous. I can barely apply makeup with a mirror.

Other than the references to make up and bras, it seems like a pretty universal skill set.

I suppose I’m too old to participate in this discussion but what the hell, I’m going to anyway. Not everyone lives by the feminist creed. When you live with someone for several decades, you tend to fall into roles. And yes, some of those roles will be defined by traditional male female sterotypes. My wife would never even consider carving the turkey, that’s my job. Changing a flat would never happen nor would anything on the car. That’s my job. Sewing is a lost art and good riddance. Why would anyone need to sew these days. Hell, having holes in your clothes is a fashion statement and if you don’t like holes, you throw them away. When I was a kid my grandmother taught me to darn my socks. I haven’t done that since.

I find it amusing that there is such offense taken to this list. While I find it fairly stupid, It not offensive. Make up your list on what men should know and I’m sure to find it equally amusing.

Take themselves out to dinner and/or a movie—on their own

Gaspeth! A woman out alone in public? Didn’t the 50 Ways to Avoid Being Raped list tell me specifically to never venture out alone? I’m not even supposed to visit a restroom unattended!

Examine their own breasts
This one I can get behind. It is an important skill.

This list wasn’t even thought out. I’m too bored to be offended.

While it seems intent on empowering women, it should be 50 things everyone should be able to do. I mean, really, book your own travel? Women have been better at that for as long as I can remember.

I even know how to buy a bra, as a single dad had to get one for my daughter.

Laughing my ass off at number 7. (and a few others, but number 7 was the first one to make me laugh out loud.)

@Jaxk My husband and I also have some of those tradition, stereotypical gender roles in our marriage. I see nothing wrong with it. Some of our roles fit the gender traditional roles, and other roles/chores/jobs in our marriage we have just worked out over time, and they change and evolve as circumstances evolve. But, even if my husband is the one likely to do the “man” stuff, I still am capable and have done a lot of those things. Things like booking a travel reservation, in my relationship I am the one who does all the travel planning. But, the one near the top, say no without guilt, that is like a hot topic for women, something they need psychotherapy for (I say that half serious) and I don’t think men usually suffer from that, they do what they want. Eating alone. It’s hard for me to believe anyone in the workforce has not done that, and most women specnd at least some time in the workforce.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not all worked up about the list of 50 for 50. If it sounds that way in my comments that would be the wrong tone coming through. It’s just a stupid list, I don’t take it very seriously, but I find it interesting from a sociological cultural perspective.

I agree with the article on most, but I can change my own oil and swapped out a radiator before. Self-reliance is a trait not all women embrace and it’s a shame.

I think it’s sexist to label this a list for women. Everyone should know these things.

Although it’s an interesting list, I don’t think that it is very useful. Reading the article didn’t teach me anything new, or help me prepare for life, or anything along those lines.

Looks more like a list of “things that upper-middle-class people should know”. A lot of those things have very little relevance to ordinary people. Perhaps it says more about the readers of the Huffington Post than about anything else.

“Know how to get around in a foreign country.” What? How would you know how to do that if you’ve never BEEN to a foreign country!

I liked the one about “Change a tire.” I remember my first flat tire. I was 16. It was about ½ a mile from home. I called my daddy. He said, “I’ll be right there.”
He came and he said, “OK. Change it.”
I was like, “WHAT?”
He said, “You have GOT to know how to change a tire!” And so I did.

@Seek_Kolinahr ..What happened to your ears?

I’m about 45%. Most of my non-achievements are financially related or from lack of opportunity.

This list seems culturally slanted to women living a city life, with a great income, not just good. It might cover some suburban lifestyles, but I think a group of women living the suburban life would come up with a few different items in their top 50. When I lived the city life, these were many of the things I had to do, to deal with or hope for.

Here’s my reaction to each item on the list.

Say “no” without feeling guilty >>I do this.
Book their own travel >> I’ve done this.
Say “I’m sorry” and mean it >> I hate this.
Laugh at themselves >> I haven’t done this in a long time.
Change a tire >> I’ve done this. Do I have to do it again?
Take themselves out to dinner and/or a movie—on their own >> Been there, done that.
Get around in a foreign country >> I suppose a different state doesn’t quite count?
Program and operate their TV (this is easier said than done!) >> I can do this.
Mix at least a few classic cocktails >> I’d need a book.
Do their own taxes >> Still have to do this year, but I’ve done them all.
Invest in the stock market >> Still thinking about this.
Make themselves and their own needs a priority >> Probably too frequently.
Sew—at least a little >> 4-H and Country Fair alumni.
Defend themselves against an attacker with at least one signature self-defense move >> Don’t have one, hope I never have to.
Perform CPR >> Also hope I never have to, don’t know how.
Carve a turkey >> Sort of. But I can cook it.
Choose their own wine >> Sort of. But I’m too cheap.
Light a grill—and then cook on it >> I can.
Swim >> Took lessons, still afraid of the water. Side stroke was my favorite.
Order a credit report—and then be able to read it >> Working on this one.
Examine their own breasts >> Yeah, that’s just so much fun.
Graciously accept a compliment >> Still practicing, not many opportunities.
Flip their own breaker >> Yep, had to do that.
Plunge a toilet >> And this.
Properly hang photos and artwork >> Properly is a word to debate.
Whip up a signature dish that’s not spaghetti or meatloaf >> Haven’t settled on one yet.
Walk away from a situation or relationship when it’s not working >> Probably walked too soon.
Tell off at least one person who deserves it >> Not yet.
Say what they really want in bed >> Opportunity desired.
Put together a piece of “some assembly required” furniture >> Rather too many.
Apply makeup without a mirror >> Not in a few years.
Buy something crazy expensive just because they want it >> Another ‘relative’ concept.
Ask for a raise >> Opportunity, opportunity.
Mow their own yard >> Rather frequently.
Unclog a drain >> Ditto.
Tell which direction they are facing >> I did better when I was younger, not so much lately.
Tell at least one really good joke >> Not a jokster, probably won’t ever get this one.
Make small talk with just about anyone >> Small talk bores me.
Know when to reveal personal information—and when not to >> Not successful with this one.
Think critically and independently when hearing speeches and listening to the news >> I practice hypocritical analysis.
Paint a room >> Not since my apartment years.
Buy the right-sized bra >> Tried. Failed.
Beautifully wrap a present >> Achieved just once.
Hail a taxi >> Opportunity issue again.
Reach out to an old friend >> Not in a long time.
Jump a car battery >> Too afraid to put on the connectors, can’t remember the right color.
Show love with actions and not just words >> To children, not so many adults.
Put together a real retirement strategy >> Not achieved, probably won’t ever.
Look good in a photo >> Haven’t yet.
Open a bottle of champagne >> Old hat.

Lighting a grill….the first time I did that my ex (before he was my ex) said, “You’re not supposed to know how to do that!” I’m all…“It’s not rocket science!”

@Dutchess_III

When I do a “guy thing”, it is not uncommon for my wife to ask me “How did you do that?”

To which my pat answer is: “I’m not gonna tell you because then you won’t need me.”

Her response: “I don’t need you anyway, but I will keep you.”

@rojo My husband knows he’s just there to open pickle jars and reach that thing that’s up there out of my reach.

@Seek_Kolinahr Yep, two of my jobs as well, along with starting the lawn mower (although she mows) and running the weed wacker (which scares her). My wife says I got the small economy model when we married.

@JLeslie

Sounds like we are similar in our relationships. I find that any couple falls into the roles they do best. My wife is better at telling me what to do and I’m better at doing what I’m told.

@Jaxk It’s so much easier that way isn’t it?

@rojo

Yes it is. That’s another thing I’m good at, easier.

@Jaxk I firmly believe roles help relationships, and being able to renegotiate roles is an important part of relationships. When I worked full time my husband and I slit the chores at home fairly equally. When I say equally I mean how much time spent doing chores. When I went part time I took on more chores at home. When I went back to full time my husband immediately took on more chores again. We basically feel no one in the relationship should have to work more hours. Work being a job away from home and chores at home combined. If it ever got too overwhelming we would get a maid to help. We have done it on and off, but generally we take care of everything ourselves.

I have a few friends who constantly complain about what their husband don’t do around the house, and I think arguing about that stuff is a waste of time. The husband simply does not want to take out the trash, or mow the lawn, or whatever the specific task is, so I think my friend should just do it, and let him take a different chore he doesn’t mind, or pay someone else to do it. They all have enough money for a maid every couple of weeks. But, most of my friends are like me and they have defined roles in their marriage.

@Seek_Kolinahr : Whack the lid of the pickle jar with the handle of a butter knife, or run it under hot water. Also, step ladders ;)

Change a tire ? Are they kidding ? No; I cannot change a tire . LOL And it doesn’t bother me one bit. But I can and do change toilet paper rolls. I read somewhere that men never do that. They think its “womens’ work.”
I think that was a fun read.
Now we can wait for all the single men to jump in and say they change the TP roll.

@Seek_Kolinahr you do realise there are tools for those things… right?

I used to joke that I replaced my ex husband with two battery operated things. One of them opened jars.

@cazzie Don’t encourage me. ^_^

@cazzie
Just stab a kife in between the glass and the lid and twist it a little. This will break the airtight seal and remove the vacuum. After that, even a child can easily open the jar.

@ragingloli i have been opening my jars using a heavy knife technique I developed years ago.

It was a joke….. meaning… who the f* needs a man?

Wait!!! @Aster are you admitting in a public forum that you are the fabled TP Faery!!
You are amazing!!
Santa only works one day a week but you! You work every day!
Wait ‘till the guys at work find out that there really is a TP Faery and that I know her!!

The trick to fixing a flat is to put the lug wrench on and then stomp on it with your foot before jacking up the car. You can’t loosen the lugs with that tiny wrench in most cars. Or get a heavy (8 lb at least) hammer and do the same.

Or have a long pipe in your boot that fits on the spanner

@ragingloli Isn’t that going to be a little uncomfortable walking? Or do you keep one in each boot?

* facepalm * “Boot” = Trunk.

@Seek_Kolinahr Who refers to the trunk as the boot?

People not in America.

@Seek_Kolinahr Then I learned something new today. But what does that make a booty call?

Why do they call it a boot, anyway?

They had a movie about German car trunks called Das Boot.

@rojo That was about a submarine and it was a good flick.

@Adirondackwannabe Thats preposterous. How are you ever going to fit a submarine into a car trunk.

@rojo
easily

@ragingloli I am afraid to look at your link for fear that there could be some sexual innueno involved with the question and the answer!

@rojo You can tell your pals anything you like but toilet paper fairy isn’t exactly a title I’d brag about. Now go unload the dishwasher if you have one.

@rojo
It is spelled ‘innuendo’, with a d, and if you want one, just look at @Aster‘s Post about “unloading the dishwasher”.

Hhhhhhhhhhhhh Yes ma’am. &%^$%%%^$#!!

@ragingloli doh!

G daaaay maaaate, in Austraaaaaya we call a trunk a Boot! Trunks are old fashioned men’s bathing costumes or large storage chests.

I open my jars with several good whacks with the back of my bread knife.

I can change tyres no probs, hell I even changed the brake pads on my old car, I can lift furniture no probs and I can mow the lawn no probs, but I choose not to if I can get away with it, got to give him something to do for goodness sake :D

@rojo , @ragingloli Innuendo and out the other!