Why don't people want to have an intelligent conversation?

It seems to me that you may be a bit more mature than your classmates and many people on social media forums. So don’t get disgusted or disgruntled with the human race yet. Most intelligent people get the same thing so tend to become a bit introverted and don’t really get involved in these forums. I’d suggest you take an online course or finish your degree course with a reputable school that offers online classes. You’ll get much more intellectual discourse! By the way, my Christmas Cactus is in full bloom! Hang in there!

@Feta Keep looking. You’ll find someone that will meet what you want. I’m friends with a guy that refers to me as his deep thought buddy. It takes an effort to carry on really intelligent conversation. But it’s very very worth it.

Have you heard the saying: “Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public”? I think it’s common in other countries as well. You will find intelligent people who love discussions, but they may be more rare than you wish. When you find them, treat them with respect and appreciate that their opinions may be very different from your own. And don’t treat those who don’t meet your expectations unkindly. They outnumber you.

Look for others of your type. try meet-up groups. try clubs or organizations in your interest areas. You just haven’t found the right people to talk to.

Fluther has more than its share of smart people who have a wide range of interests. You may just find someone whose style matches your own. I wish you luck. Don’t give up!

As you mature and/or as your associates mature and/or as you choose new associates who are already mature, the conversations can change. That’s not to say that they always will change, because even in my own office, which is filled with brilliant engineers – really, as bright as I am (and all false modesty aside, I am) I feel like an idiot sometimes when I converse with some of these people, both men and women – we still end up talking about last night’s game a lot, too.

If you can have pleasant conversations with anyone about anything, and especially if you can learn something or help someone else learn something (even if it’s about a prom dress or last night’s game), then consider yourself ahead of the game. And feel free to come to Fluther with intelligent and thought-provoking questions.

Not that we have intelligent and thought-provoking responses, but at least you’ll feel better for having said something brilliant, maybe.

Because it takes work to think through complicated issues.

Some random thoughts on this.

Most people are shallow. They don’t want to talk in abstractions and they don’t want to think too hard if they can avoid it. The group at Fluther is atypical. I would be surprised if you don’t find people here who you can relate to.

When you first meet someone, you typically break the ice with smalltalk. I don’t particularly like this type of conversation, but if I just met someone and was immediately asked a question about politics, I would think it a bit odd.

Do you live near a large city or a university town? Check out lectures and programs at universities, libraries and museums. You should be able to find people who attend these who share some of your interests.

What is as?. I did a google search on it and all I found was American Sign Language, which I am quite sure is not what you meant.

@LostInParadise

In chat rooms “asl” is shorthand for “Age / Sex / Location”. In other words, the respondent immediately asks “asl” as a shorthand way of determining on that basis alone whether to continue or abort a chat.

Well, if it’s vibrant debate about religion, politics, music, art, philosophy and the like you are seeking, you’ve come to the right place visiting Fluther, and welcome to the group, BTW. You can certainly stir up a lively debate here. You’ll find lots of people who care much more what you think than what you “asl” happens to be.

Why were you talking about Christmas cacti? That’s pretty random, and not exactly a scintillating topic.

What happened to intelligence? Maybe you are much smarter than most of the country? At minimum most of your friends. I am dead serious. Intelligence basically distributes along a bell curve, and you might be at the very smart end and your friends are less analytical than you. Maybe your family, your parents, seek knowledge and debate and that is very usual for you, but your friends don’t experience that in their families.

There are other people out there like you, it will be easier when you are older. Maybe there are some groups in school you can join that share similar interests with you. Have yu thought about the debate team?

Do you do well in your studies? Accelerated classes you will be more likely to find other students who think about big weighty topics.

Having said that, when I was young I didn’t think much about politics or religion. I was very interested in the biological sciences, medical discoveries, and could carry on a good discussions about many topics, but religion was a non issue for me among my peers; we just were what we were and no one cared what you were. Politics I was only opinionated about some specific issues, but barely paid attention to a politician.

For some people religion and politics touches on how they construct their world. If you disturb their thoughts on how they put their world puzzle together it makes them nervous. The world could fall apart. They don’t want to hear an opposing opinion, they only want to hear opinions that reinforce their own.

I don’t recall seeing any a/s/l type responses here.

Perhaps it’s not so much a question of whether or not people want to have intelligent conversations, but maybe a question of whether or not you’ve been looking in the right places.

After all, you’d hardly expect an intelligent conversation concerning…say, the merits of the President’s proposed budget on the electronic cigarette forum.

Really it comes down to the fact of how many people just go on the internet to be popular or cool. Our society (mostly online) has made it almost impossible for people like thinkers and artists to fit in, if you go on facebook (i deleted my account I saw absolutely no point to it whatsoever) all you really see are teenage girls (especially girls my age) wearing too much makeup trying to look older or petty fights over a digital comment left by someone who doesn’t have anything better to do than sit by a computer. It’s sad to say that if you want to have an intelligent conversation with someone, you’ll have to search pretty hard offline, and if you’re trying to find someone to have an intelligent conversation with online, good luck to you. it’s literally harder than finding a small needle in a haystack most times….

@open98 Welcome to Fluther. Glad to have you here with us.

I feel your pain. I am not, in arguing against what you said, diminishing the fact that you have felt that, and that many of us have been there right with you. But I have engaged in many very meaningful and informative online debates. Fluther is a major destination for that. But there are many others. What do you like to debate and learn about? I’m certain I can give you some fine venues where your favorite issues will get very intelligent discussion.

For 30 years my husband used to complain to me that I was “so deep”.

I always would reply, “And the opposite of deep is….?” He never got the hint, although now he does, and he says he appreciates my depth. Hmm.

You have every right to want to find people who take the art of conversation seriously. Be bold enough to express yourself when a subject comes up that stimulates your interest. Be persistant and you will evenually find someone else who would enjoy stimulating conversation. Even in couples, sometimes one of them enjoys conversation and seeks out the opportunity while the other partner find conversation to be boring. Keep searching, and you will find someone who shares you enthusiasm.