Would you let a quantum mechanic work on your car?
Asked by
ETpro (
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April 9th, 2013
You may already know all about the double-slit experiment and the enhanced version of it that showed that it is not the act of measuring the spin of a particle that collapses its wave of possibilities, the collapse actually occurs only when a sentient being can know what the measurement reveals. So long as there is no one watching, and no recording is made of the measurement, no collapse occurs. Record it so that we can, at some point know what happened, and the waveform collapses. Waveform collapse is not a function of interaction between a quantum particle and a measuring device, it is an interaction between the quantum particle and sentience!
If you weren’t already up on that, then here’s a 52 minute video discussing just how utterly weird and mind boggling things are at the quantum level.
So would you let a quantum mechanic work on your car? Do you have any option?
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22 Answers
I tried that once, but he told me that my battery was both dead and alive. So I told him that I payed him in an alternate universe.
I can not seem to overcome my Heisenberg Uncertainty. I am unable to verify if I did or did not leave my friend Schroedinger’s cat dead or alive in the back seat because I can’t see through the damn windows. Every time I make a turn, the whole vehicle jumps up to a higher energy state and since I live near an international boundary, that can be a problem. In the spring here, we get pot holes deeper that black holes that seem to draw my car into them no matter what I do. Perhaps a quantum mechanic is just what I need. Besides, the faster I go in the car, the more other people’s watches seem to advance. I guess it’s all relative!
Since the car I own is in an time line of an alternate possibility where it did not get repossessed, I guess that the alternate quantum mechanic of that time could possibly get the car (or me) to jump timelines.
It looks like that damn cat made it here in relativey record time!
I did that once. When I went to get my car it had disappeared from the lot. There was no uncertainty about the AMEX charges, however. They were there – even when I squinted my eyes.
I just hope he doesn’t drop the nuts and bolts down a black hole.
Well, duh. I’d turn my DeLorean over to him and the next thing I’d be going back to the future! @Pachyderm_In_The_Room beat me to it. But I’ll catch up cause I have a 95 DeLorean!
Only if I was driving a Chevy Quantum.
GA’s all around! This thread made me laugh when it’s all I can do to think straight! You guys rock. :)
@thorninmud Ha! I think he was both right and wrong, and he paid for it.
@Dr_Lawrence I’ve got the answer for Schrodinger’s poor, unloved cat. A glass box.
To travel at the speed of light you are definitely going to have to get that vehicle finely tuned by a quantum mechanic. It’s going to need to be so finely tuned that the theists will swear that only God could have tuned it up.
@Yetanotheruser Don’t those morons in the finance department know that repossession constitutes an observed measurement and collapses your possibility waveform. Shame on them!
@LuckyGuy Lucky you. You found a quantum mechanic on the first try.
@jerv That might be a GA. Then again, it might not.
@Pachyderm_In_The_Room I’m clearly psychic. I just knew one of you would bring in an ‘85 Delorean for service.
@elbanditoroso Yeah, yeah… They all use the black hole excuse when they lose your parts. Trust me on this. If your mechanic strayed close enough to the event horizon to drop nuts and bolts in there, his nuts would bolt on in there with them. Even Heisenberg would agree with me on that, or not.
@Dutchess_III The probability of having a ‘95 DeLorean is what’s used to run the Infinite Improbability Drive.
@filmfann Here’s where to get Quantum Sealant for your ride. Check out that yellow 2012 Camaro SS Transformer with the 6.2 Liter 426 HP V8 while you’re there.
@RandomGirl Thanks. God either knows we try, or doesn’t exist.
@ETpro I figure the odds were 50–50. I’m pretty certain next time I will go to another place. This garage smelled like a dead cat.
Oh, that gave me a headache @ETpro. Anyway, I’ll just have my quantum mechanic revamp one of the space shuttles to make it street legal.
@LuckyGuy Yes, another place where the 50/50 odds are much better and the cat still stinks, but more in line with a litter box.
@Dutchess_III Sounds good to me. Go for it, and if you survive, let us know how it went.
Quantum mechanics are a much different phenomena than the Newtonian mechanics that we’re exposed to in everyday life, so I’d say ‘no’ here.
@Paradox25 Oh, we’re exposed to those quantum mechanics in everyday life. They are just so shifty it’s hard to tell whether they are there, or not there; whereas the Newtonian kind are as predictable as the day is long—except on short days.
Mechanics which are visible to the naked eye that is. I see kinetic energy in action because my nephew hit a ball with a bat, but I don’t see that the ball and bat are made up of mostly empty space.
I used to use quantum mechanics, but their effects averaged out.
Now my brother fixes my car. He’s a relativistic mechanic. He doesn’t even have to leave the house, cause he’s got Spooky Action at a Distance!
@rexacoracofalipitorius I’m afraid to observe the spin on that answer for fear of collapsing its excellent wave of possibilities.
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