Why is it so difficult for me to learn how to drive?

Perhaps a defensive driving course would give you the skills that you need. Fix the car you are learning on. Having the alignment be off is not something you should have to deal with.

@marinelife But, nothing is wrong, I just need support. Defensive driving classes do not seem like a bad idea, though.

Not everyone seems to get the jitters, but some definitely take to driving more naturally than others. My driving teacher said that some youngsters get behind the wheel as if they were born to drive, and they never seem to show any nervousness.

Maybe they should. Overconfidence can be more of a hazard than hesitation.

I was an awkward, frightened learner as a high school student, and I failed Driver Ed. The instructor told me he wasn’t going to live long enough to teach me to drive. Both of my parents gave up on me, too, and later so did a boyfriend. Having people scream at me when I made mistakes only made it worse.

It took me about 25 years to work up the nerve to try it again, and I was still a wreck. Terrified. Shaking.

But I took driving lessons with an understanding teacher who was patient, didn’t rush me, coached gently, and had some slogans and techniques that stuck in my mind after enough repetition.

He also said I wasn’t his worst student and far from his oldest, a 93-year-old woman who was really excited about learning to drive at last.

I failed my first DMV driving test. My teacher immediately signed me up for a retest one week later and took me out for some intensive practice over the following week.

For the first year after I got my license, I still drove very nervously and unsteadily. Over time I gained confidence, but I’m still pretty cautious, don’t take chances, don’t go too fast, don’t try things that take more skill than I know I have, and still listen to my teacher’s reminders and slogans in my mind.

If I can do it, you can do it. Take the time you need. And get real lessons from a teacher, not from someone who gets exasperated, yells, and thinks you’re going to wreck his car. When something is easy for a person, that person tends to think it ought to be just as easy for everyone, but it isn’t.

@Marchofthefox I learned a lot when I took one, and I had been driving for years.

It’s simply a matter of getting your perspective down. Just takes practice.

Funny story, I was nervous, too, so my mom took me to a graveyard to learn. There is little to no traffic, no one to hurt, and believe it or not, I have a perfect driving record. It works, you just need to relax.

I also started driving with a jeap! Do cut yourself some slack cause for beginners a jeap is a damn big ass car to start driving with! I had the same fears as you – of scraping the car for driving too much on the right! Honestly, believe it or not – try driving by yourself as much as you can at first. It will force you to concentrate and not rely on anyone. I was also scared at first….but thats how I learned to get comfortable with no one judging my driving :) Also drive at a fair pace and keep a straight eye at the road in front of you and just concentrate on your side of the road. Also a jeap has high seats and should give you a clear view of both sides…:) does this help??

I had my kids on my lap, letting them steer, when they were about 10. That helped with the spatial issue a lot.
When they actually got their permits I made a point of getting them into situations, like an icy (empty) parking lot, and telling them to slam on their breaks so they could see how useless it is on ice. Also, 360s and cool stuff like that. :)

Have you considered that it might be the “someone” (or plural) who is in the right seat (or even the back seat)? I learned the mechanics of driving in a huge empty parking lot. (On Saturday mornings sometimes Dad would drive to the office to work on things in peace from his co-workers, and he’d leave me in the plant parking lot. He’d give me a lesson first on what he wanted me to work on, and then he’d just leave me at it.)

After I understood the mechanics (this was in driving a standard transmission), then he’d take the same easy-going attitude toward my driving on public roads, starting with low speed on neighborhood roads, then somewhat faster on deserted country roads, then busier roads in town, and finally in the city and on the Interstate. If you have the right teacher, the right lessons, and the right attitude and gradient, you can hardly miss.

How long have you been learning? I’d listen to your instructor and stop being so hard on yourself. Practice makes perfect. Just try to relax behind the wheel.

Have you seen the play How I Learned to Drive? Just be glad you don’t have that girl’s problems. :)

I was not nervous, but it did take a little time to get the spatial part down. I recommend going to a parking lot, go to an empty row, and practice putting your left tire on the line, your right tires on the line, your left tire inside the line, etc. Each time you think you have done it, put the car in park, get out, and see where you really are in relationship to the line. For me, being high up makes it much harder for me to estimate where I am. In regular height cars I can get through the smallest of spaces, parallel park, etc. In high up trucks and SUV’s I find it much more difficult.

When driving in traffic look into the distance to get your car in the middle of the lane. Look towards the middle of your lane not the line. When in traffic you start to get a hang for where you are in the lane because the cars are right around you and you can easily tell how close you are on the sides.

Remember, when driving, if traffic is moving quickly you should be spacing yourself so cars are not driving side by side to you in tandem. Either slow down a little or speed up to get away from cars to the side of you. In bumper to bumper traffic that is a whole different ball game.

If you are very nervous stick to practicing not during heavy traffic times, always give ourself plenty of distance away from the car in front of you so you have a lot of stopping time.

Relax, but stay focused. Also maybe learn from a relative not in your immediate family. I learned from my uncle. I’ve been driving since I was 8 though, so it came easily to me. I also loved to try crazy stuff, sometimes that bit me in the butt. Keep your eyes moving and drive 3 or 4 cars ahead of you. Don’t tailgate and watch brake lights. Also stay in the middle of your lane, not the right. Just relax and pay attention. And watch other drivers eyes. Make sure they see you.

I’ve been giving driving lessons to my 13 year old grandson in my head. Seems like I was always the one in charge of giving driving lessons….to my sisters and even one of my boyfriends as a teen. Not to mention my kids, and one of my daughter’s boyfriends. Yeah. Eye contact is important. So is staying a mile behind other drivers on the highway. Forget that “10 feet for every mile an hour you’re going” stuff. Stay the hell away from everyone, or pass them to get them away from them. As far as possible.

I don’t know if there are facilities where you can practice driving in a realistic simulator. Your anxiety seems to be interfering with your performance.
I suggest that practicing some effective relaxation technique before it is your turn to drive and using positive statements about your ability to succeed while you drive will help things go much better.

I’d say take it out to the country first. Much less distraction and confusion.

I agree with @JLeslie‘s GA. The biggest key is maintaining plenty of stoping room and having space to your right and left so you can maneuver if something unexpected happens (like a tire blowing out). The other point I’d add that really helps me out is to look a few cars ahead (not just the one I’m following) to anticipate what’s coming ahead. If there are lots of break lights several cars up, there could be debris on the road, or an accident, or a cop etc.

When parking, remember that it’s your back wheels that will determine where you end up. So when turning right, It’s your right rear wheel that will act as the “pivot” (visa-versa with the left).

@gorillapaws Great advice about looking ahead. I’ll add, although it seems intuitive, try not to be behind trucks and SUV’s that block your ability to see three, four, five cars in front of you. If you are behind a taller vehicle you have to be further back to be safe.

Also, this is not about where you are in the road, but I think worth mentioning, if you live in a hilly place it is extremely imirtant when at a stop or red light to be able to see the tires of the car in front of you. One, you will be able to get around the guy in front of you if he stalls out without having to back up. But two, and most important, you have to give people space to roll backwards when they start from a stop. I know most of America drive automatice cars, but some of us still are in manual ones and we roll backwards a little when starting in a steep incline.

Let us know how it is going. You’ll be a pro in no time, don’t worry.

I was very nervous when I started to learn to drive. I think part of it was I was very conscious of the danger. I learned to drive as an adult. Also, some people’s spatial awareness isn’t perfect. I would talk to your driving instructor about that. It sounds to me like you just need more experience and confidence. There is a balance between being a confident driver and an over-confident driver. Being cautious and aware of your own tendencies when driving is a good thing.

@marinelife mentioned defensive driving lessons. I wouldn’t suggest you take a series of defensive driving lessons until you have passed your initial test and have been driving for six months. You need to more confident about your basic skills and be more used to just driving on the road on your own. It’s a great idea but you really need to have the basics down pat first. Check with your insurance company when you have passed your test. They sometimes offer subsidies or even free programs.

Get out in the car as often as you can with someone who is calm and is a good driver. You don’t want to pick up other people’s bad habits and you don’t want someone quashing your already fragile confidence. The more you drive the more secure and confident you will become – do watch for becoming over confident though. That’s a real killer and I’m not trying to be funny.

When you are learning, learn not to give a shit about anyone else in other cars who may be thinking “this learner is going too slow!”.
That helped me.

I NEVER worried about that, even as an experienced driver. Usually I went faster than most, but in bad weather, ice, etc. I went at what speed I thought was safe. If others thought it was too slow, tough. I never wound up in a ditch either. (LOL! A person gets impatient and passes you in those conditions, and 5 minutes later you pass them ‘cause they went off in a ditch…that’s Karma!)

Thanks all, practice will make perfect in this case. :-)