Is it 'inappropriate' for a male to squeeze a female's arm without her consent while not engaging in a conversation?

I can only speak for the workplace I recently left and for other large companies where I’ve worked previously: their HR departments counseled against it, to preclude misinterpretation. However, I’ve never been censured for patting or very lightly squeezing a female co-worker’s or friend’s arm when spontaneously moved to make a point or display non-sexual friendliness.

Only if he makes this face

No. It is absolutely appropriate – when he is pulling her from the path of a speeding car or preventing her from falling off a subway platform.

I don’t know if it is culture related but there was an older Greek guy in my office who would touch everyone he spoke to – men and women. It was not sexual. It was simply his speaking style. I don’t know if it was a Greek thing or personal but we all knew he would do it when he was making a point.

Imo this is pretty fuzzy. As @LuckyGuy point’s out, it can mean different things in different cultures. If it bothers you, simply stating “it makes me uncomfortable when people touch me without my consent, I appreciate you respecting my boundaries” would clarify your wishes, and if the behavior continues then I think it’s much easier to pursue the matter more aggressively.

Yes, unwanted physical touch is wrong. I would turn around to the person and loudly say, “Take your hand off my arm. I did not give you permission to touch me.”

But still, what would motivate anyone to squeeze someone’s arm without even saying a word to them? It’s such a weird thing to do, that it makes you wonder what’s behind it.

@LuckyGuy , my sister does that. People think she’s flirting but that’s just her nature. Downside is that people often get stalky crushes on her, both men and women.
@HULK, we need more context here.

It could be sexual harassment; it could also be lifesaving first aid, a rescue of a drowning woman or girl, or as @LuckyGuy suggests, a rescue from certain death on a subway platform. Context is all.

It was not a life or death situation. It’s not the first time that person made that gesture to the same woman.

@HULK, did he just walk up and squeeze her arm and walk away? Was he restraining her? Did he leave marks? Was he talking to her? Did he approach her from behind and just pinch her or did he grab her? Were they in the middle of a conversation? Did she tell him she didn’t like it?
You really haven’t given enough information for us to give you any kind of quality answer.

It was an approach from behind. Yes, he just did it and walked away. That’s been his attitude. The funny thing is, he never really wants to even talk to her.

In case you’re wondering my position in all of this, she’s my Aunt’s older daughter. She told me like a day after it happend. She said this time his hand was clamy, and she couldn’t wait to get home that evening to wash it off. We were at an event where she said it happened. She seems more annoyed than worried though.

Sorry for not being clear earlier. Hope this helps.

Sounds incredibly creepy.

As a military member, I and members of the Air Force community (at least in my squadron and wing) would certainly frown on this behavior and encourage other members not to even take a chance of doing something like this, no matter how innocent the intentions might be.

The military is trying to take a more proactive approach these days to sexual harrassment in the workplace and is expending a lot of time and effort to promote their program of enforcement of these policies – SAPR (Sexual Assualt Prevention and Response).

It all depends on the woman, and her personality. I don’t mind being touched. I don’t even mind being kissed on the cheek, having my back patted, my shoulders/arms squeezed, or even in some circumstances having my butt patted affectionately.

Other women definitely do not feel the same!

@WillWorkForChocolate. What a relaxed worked environment it would be if all women were as comfortable as you regarding casual contact in the workplace.

I realize that each person is different and would have different interpretations on what could be construed as possibly allowable or inappropriate. I’m not trying to make light of the original question, just offering a personal opinion and observation. It’s always best to use good judgement and respect other people.

Why would a touch on the arm be sexual harassment? Technically, harassment is any unwanted touching, but calling a non-sexual touch sexual harassment doesn’t make much sense.

Some people are more touchy-feely than others. Nothing to get worked up about. An ass grab is inappropriate. Arm? Nah.

It appears it was an ‘unwanted’ touch. It’s not his first, second, or third time doing this to her. and feeling her arm.

@HULK Has she clearly (i.e. verbally) communicated her disapproval? If so, then this is wrong and she is well within her rights to take action.

yeah. I mentioned that she told me the day after the last time that he did that.
But here’s the thing, they have a weird way of dealing with each other. Like they can’t communicate unless each one of them is talking to someone else. He has a GF, so neither her nor I want to mention anything to him or the GF to cause any problems. I can see that she is trying her best to stay away from him though. That’s why I don’t understand. Because she was actually hiding from him what this happened. He appearantly was sneaking nearby her when he came up from behind. That’s one of the reason why she is surprised that he did it again. Maybe if it were me I would have yelled at him, but she’s not that type of person. He even turned one of her friends against her. I always thought he was not a good guy to be around.

@Blurfreedom, glad the military is finally taking it seriously. To many women have endured to much for to long. Some of the stories are heartbreaking.

@HULK OK, that does sounds creepy. Not at all like what @Judi ‘s sister or my coworker was like. This sounds a bit like stalking.
Does she wear low heels? She could stomp (hard) on his foot the next time it happens. Or immediately scratch his hand hopefully drawing blood. “Oh! Sorry! You startled me!”

@Judi. They should have been trying to fix the problem long before now. I watched a documentary several months ago called “The Invisible War” about sexual assaults that occur in the military. I was aware that it was already going on but I wasn’t prepared for the information about how often it happened and the lengths that a person’s chain of command was going to in covering it up and not providing proper discipline for offenders. It was very appalling in my opinion and made me very angry.

I just hope that the military stays the course and keeps funnelling a lot of energy into truly taking care of the problem correctly and completely.

Not good that he can just go up to a person that he did not know and get into her space.
I hope that you corrected him?
I had someone who did that to others and it was not long before she tried it on me.
I set her straight pretty fast by informaing her of boundaries and respect.
Unforunately I had to raise my voice a bit before she would back off?
She was very persistant.
She had gotten a lot of people irritated over her behavior.
She is on meds for numerous problems, but she does know what she is doing!
She does not bother me anymore, but the others who did not correct her, still have that same problem.
She has learned whom she can infringe on and whom she cannot.

@Bluefreedom I was just answering from my own point of view. The details didn’t say anything about this being related to the workplace.

In my workplace we are affectionate like that because we’ve worked together a long time, but if that relationship isn’t there then it would make me uncomfortable.

But I’m not a touchy-feely kind of person strangers, unless I’m in the mood or there’s instant affinity.

One guy was hired and he kept knocking the back of chair hard when he walked by my cubicle, and I got mad and confronted him after two or three times, and he apologized and said he was just playing and trying to be friendly. Needless to say, he stopped after I told him it was a disruption and not appreciated. I’m such a beeyotch sometimes- lol

It’s not a workplace situation (thank god).

@WillWorkForChocolate. Roger that. It’s the thoughts that count.

@ragingloli, normally, I think most of your posts are pretty juvenile. I still do, but ^ that ^ one up there made me laugh out loud.

In answer to your question; could it be sexual harrassment? Yes it could be. BUT, there is an equally good chance that it is simply a gesture meant to be inclusive.

This is one of those grey areas (or gray, depending on which side of the Atlantic you are on) because it is not unusual for a male to grasp an arm or pat on the back of an associate in a business setting, particularly (and here I am stereotyping) if that person is in sales. These guys try to get up close and personal so that you are more susceptible to their pitch.

Without more details, it is hard to call.

@rojo: You can take a look throught the comments to see my additional comment(s) on the circumstances surrounding what happened. (Also this is in western civilization).

I’ve added 6 detail explanations.