Why is being insensitive a basis for criticism, and being overly sensitive also a basis for criticism?

By definition, the person behind the comment is actually displaying that exact trait themselves…choke on the irony.

Well I know I’m too sensitive and I have been all my life. I have many many examples of this, but I think it stems from maturing very early.

Lonely old people, abused animals, all make me upset, even if I never knew them.

It’s just like Goldilocks and the three bears…

@KNOWITALL

I have just the right amount of sensitivity to your feelings about that, because lonely old people who have abused animals also make me upset. ;-o

Sensitivity is an asset when it comes to how you act toward others, but it can be a liability when it comes to how you let others affect you. Life simply goes better when you’re tuned into the perspective of others and make an effort to not run rough-shod over their feelings gratuitously. And life also goes better when you don’t allow yourself to be easily ruffled by others’ actions toward you.

Fortunately, these are quite mutually compatible. Emotional intelligence allows you to modulate sensitivity according to whether you’re on the giving or receiving end.

I feel the Westboro Baptist Church congregation is insensitive to the extreme. They are all complete strangers to me. Is that good example of what you’re referring to @josie?

People are essentially self-centered. They have difficulty relating to others who don’t match their own level of compassion or dispassion.

There’s no right level. Just try to match your discourse with people who feel similarly to you. Ignore the critics and carry on.

This question offends me.

@Brian1946 So sorry, duh…..I can’t believe I wrote that. Focus!

Um…are we assuming that lonely old people abuse their animals? I’m so confused!

@Dutchess_III No no, my fingers were typing quicker than my brain I think. Sorry.

:D

@Dutchess_III

I would bet that Fred Phelps ( a Democrat, who, interestingly, before he was disbarred, was a very aggressive civil rights attorney, and who won acknowledgements from the NAACP) thinks that your disapproval of his mission indicates a total lack of sensitivity on your part.

Speaking for myself, words like sensitive and insensitive are out of context when referring to lunatics like Fred.

It goes above and beyond mere insensitivity, is that what you’re saying @josie?

Sensitivity is not based on reasoning, which means a sensitive person is just a dumb animal and that is why being overly sensitive would be a basis for criticism. Criticizing someone for being insensitive is the same as telling someone to not use reasoning. Truth hurts, get over it.

What @thorninmud said.

@avaeve As a sensitive person, I think a lot deeper about some things than a lot of people, and at times, because of that deep thinking, my feelings get involved. Heart and mind functioning together, empathy, sympathy, walking in someone else’s shoes. It’s far from being a dumb animal, it’s actually the opposite.

I was only commenting on sensitivity, as an ideal. If you’re half/half, then my criticism would only apply to your feelings, not to your reasoning.

@avaeve Got it!

I have sometimes used the ‘dumb animal’ analogy myself when referring to procreation and the societal compulsion to breed in an overpopulated world with limited resources. Thanks.

Having sex for the purpose of procreation (to pass down your genetic material) among other reasons, is fine in my book because there is good reasoning behind it, but having sex “because it feels good” is what would fit the description of a dumb animal.

Um. I disagree with that @avaeve. 99% of the time we aren’t thinking about procreating when we have sex. We’re thinking that we want to have sex because it feels good. Being a “dumb animal” isn’t always a bad thing.

@avaeve I just wish more women put some thought into it, there’s too many neglected and abused children in the world. Women here, and a lot of the world, think it’s something that they have to do, like it’s not an option even worthy of thought. It’s weird since it affects your life in a million ways, your spouse, your family, your job, sometimes the government when you need help, and the child as well. So many people affected and so little thought put into it, that’s my point.

I’ve often wished that sterilization was an option included on insurance policies, so people like me who decide against procreation, could go all ‘dumb animal’...lol Anyway, don’t want to hijack the thread. Peace out.

That’s right. Suffering comes from poor reasoning or none at all. That was what I originally meant. Utilizing any amount of animal in you has consequences, in my opinion. Some are noticeable early, some late, some unnoticed on account of naivete.

@KNOWITALL Your doctor could probably find a reason for such a procedure.

Nah, I asked. Had to be over 30 yrs old and have at least one child. Perhaps now that I’m 40 I may be eligible but insurance won’t cover elective surgery and I’d have to do some kind of hormone therapy I’ve been told, so easier just to deal. :(

@KNOWITALL

So sorry, duh…..I can’t believe I wrote that. Focus!

No need to apologize, because I think you meant that the thought of old people being lonely or animals being abused upsets you.

I was just using the syntax of your statement to be a wiseacre.

This is no different than a guy being criticized by a woman for either being too aggressive or too passive, or when we criticize a child for being either too quiet or too talkative. People will always criticize what they perceive as extreme behaviors regardless of which side of the magnet they’re on. This is just one of the reasons why I don’t strive for being perceived as a ‘normal’ person anymore. It’s like John Lennon says in one of his acoustical hits, “they’ll hate you if you’re clever but despise a fool”.