I feel selfish and terrible, and yet can't give up. Am I wrong?

Seems like you have little choice but to have an honest talk with the vet about the likely final cost, outcome, and your ability to pay. I can totally appreciate how you must feel, and my heart goes out to you.

@majorrich you poor thing what an awful predicament to be in. It’s not selfish at all if you don’t have the funds it’s a matter of reality vs what you’d like to do for the poor cat. Have you discussed this with the vet re what the total cost is likely to be? Maybe they can do a plan for you?

We get attached to pets, and it is tough to say goodbye, no doubt about it.

But, the cat is not going to be “cured”. He will only live longer sick.

So I guess I will once again be the hard core guy and say, sometimes you have to say goodbye.

I agree with @josie. As difficult as it is to think about, it sounds like it’s time to let go. I’m so sorry. :(

Strangely enough, the vet just called me. My heart was in my throat for a moment. This is a critical night. If he makes it through the night, things look a lot better for him. His feeding tube is in, his liver biopsy confirmed the hepatic lipidosis, Now his blood pressure is low and he is on oxygen and all kinds of drugs trying to stabilize him (ching ching ching) I can’t say ‘stop enough’. I did ask the Doc when we should call it, and he promised to help with that. I realize I need to cowboy up, but jeez this is my sons beloved. and this is finals week. I am coming apart!

Awwwww, I’m sending you love and big, squeezy hugs right now!

I lost a cat due to this and it’s extremely serious and difficult to treat.

By the time the vets office realized what was going on (after the second blood test) there had been so much damage done that it was pretty much next to hopeless.

They tried a few days of supplementary fluids because in addition to not eating, she also wasn’t drinking.

Even after the fluids she was so lethargic and miserable that I knew in my heart that the vet was right to suggest putting her to sleep.

She was just a shell of the lively energetic cat she had been and had had a good life for 15 or more years.

But it was still heartbreaking and I feel for you. I’ve been there.

I’ll be thinking of you and, regardless of what anybody else on Fluther thinks, I’ll be praying for you as you make this most difficult of decisions (and yes, I actually will do that :)

You need to look the vet straight in the eye and tell him you want his honest evaluation on what the chances are for your little buddy to return to be the cat he was before and then make your decision.

They can tell a lot from those test results. And you’re letting him know that you want the unvarnished truth.

Another question you could ask him is what decision he would make if this was his own cat.

Follow borh your heart and your head. Don’t let your buddy die a miserable lingering death if there is realistically little hope.

It’s hard but that’s part of the responsibility we take when we make a lifetime commitment to our fur babies.

How old is your kitty?

Is this the quality of life your kitty would want? If he is going to be miserable for the remainder of his life, you might want to start making decisions based on what would be best for him, not what you want, which would be your kitty back to the way he was.

I’ll also give you a practical suggestion as well.

Do some research on “assisted feeding for cats”. If he turns the corner tonight and it looks more hopeful, he will still have poor appetite for quite some time to come.

Also ask your vet what he thinks about that as a possibility. If he starts talking about how that’s not recommended because if people do it wrong, bla bla bla, etc. etc. look for a second opinion.

Vets are divided on the issue but anyone with a reasonable amount of brain cells can do this without killing their cat.

You just lovingly wrap them up in a towel, talk soothingly and use a pediatric syringe (usually for oral meds for kid) free at any pharmacy and give him a little at a time.

If necessary, and he still isn’t drinking and getting dehydrated, you might have to bring him in once a week for supplemental subcutaneous fluids but that’s doable also and usually not horrendously expensive.

It ain’t rocket science. I had to do this with my current cat when she stopped eating and drinking after her spay. A couple days later she was back to eating normally.

You may have to do it for 4–6 weeks multiple times per day but I bet you’d handle if fine.

Naturally this is all predicated upon the possibility of him standing a decent chance of getting back to his old self.

But do a little reading up on it now so you’ll have more accurate info with which to make a decision. And it will give you something useful to do rather than just pacing the floor :)

So sorry. I love my pets but I have been very careful to remind myself that they are not people. For me, I couldn’t spend that kind of money for end of life care for a pet. I DO spend a lot of money on medications for poor Molly, but at 15 if they said she needed an operation or extreme intervention I would call it quits.
I know it’s hard. I just pray that your expense is not wasted and you get a few more happy years with your beloved pet.

I wish you the strength to do the right thing for your cat, not for you. I didn’t make the right choice, to let ours go, and I still regret my weakness. She was quietly miserable and shouldn’t have had to go through the indignity she did. I don’t think she was in pain, but she couldn’t eat or sleep. Tears well in my eyes as I recall my selfishness.

Try taking the cat to a vet in a shitty city. I’m serious, there is a huge price difference everywhere between where I live now and where I used to live, here they want $600 to fix a small dog, in the ghetto you could find places that did it for $100. Same with dentists, local dentists gave me an estimate around $8,000 but I found a dentist near my old house that did an excellent job for only $600. It’s insane because its only 60 miles away.

I don’t think the response “he promised to help with that” is appropriate. You’ve spent a fortune on your cat. You need to know what the long term prognosis is and what the final bill is likely to be. Frankly, a responsible vet would have had that talk with you before running up a $5000 bill.

I love my animals, and I have spent thousands on them myself in the past, however going through that experience with one of my cats has made me aware that sometimes, some vets, do not give you the best advice or whole story. There are times when the best thing for our loved pet is to let them go. There are times when even the most loving owner has to say “I can’t afford this”. These are conversations that should be had very early in the process.

Did he tell you what the long term prognosis was for your cat when he started treating it? Did he warn you about the $5000?

You are already committed to seeing through this treatment right now, but if you precious cat doesn’t improve, it sounds like time to make the hard decision.

I feel for you.

It makes having a pet a real problem knowing this is coming.

I am completely with @Bellatrix – a good vet would have not taken advantage of your fright with the sick animal, he/she would have gone over its chances and what cost was involved.
What in the hell could he have done in 2 days that would cost 5 grand.

I love my animals but since they can’t tell me what their choices are, I just assume that they like myself would not want heroic methods to sustain a life to be led with a less than desirable quality.

You have done your best for your cat, if the vet can’t give you damned good odds that your cat is going to be returned to 100%, I would bite the bullet and hold his paw while he goes peacefully to sleep. Then I would go out immediately and adopt another cat. It does not replace the one you lost but it gives you some fur to cry into and come to love again.

I agree with @rooeytoo
I spent several thousand on diagnosing and failed treatments on my cat that dies 2 years ago form F.I.P.
I had never had that experience and it was heartbreaking, but…now I know there is no cure and would not spend on that disease in a cat again.
Yes, if the odds of a full recovery are not better than 80% time to say goodbye little friend.

I;m sorry you are having this experience.

I’m with @ @ Bellatrix and @Coloma couldn’t agree more

I’m with @josie, @Judi and @rooeytoo. The lifespan of a cat is much, much shorter than our own. When we accept a cat into our lives, that means accepting that the cat must one day die before we are ready to let it go. I couldn’t afford the vet bills you are paying already, let alone write a blank cheque for further treatment that may not work. What I could do is give a home to another cat who needs love, and is sitting in a shelter somewhere right now, awaiting the same fate as your son’s cat. Perhaps you should save that one instead.

When my dog was in his final decline (a mass on his liver), my vet advised me that surgery would not have a clear outcome and that I should maybe just treat each additional day as a gift. He did come home for a last Christmas with us but then he stopped eating and had trouble breathing when he was boarding at the vet’s and they called me on vacation to come home so he could be put to sleep. I was very grateful for their humanity. I read somewhere that animals don’t anticipate their death but they do feel pain, naturally, so letting them go when it is time is the right thing to do. I feel for you and your family.

A pets life is as important as a humans. They often are our buddies. I’m sorry you are going through this and I am sure as this progresses you will know what is the best thing to do.

I took my son over with me to visit with Rascal at the hospital and to speak with the Doctor. He made it through the night although he coded twice. He self resuscitated though. When we got there, he looked pretty bad, but his demeanor and appearance visibly changed when he saw his boy! In 10 minutes of cat and boy time he improved to the point that the doctor actually remarked on it when he came in to consult with us. The next 24 hours are really important, but the Doctor was cautiously optimistic. He will be removing one of his iv’s today and with any luck we will have him home in a couple of days, maybe, I hope. He definitely wants to be with his boy and I think that alone may be what pulls him through.

I lost a kitty to liver disease, so I completely sympathize. Our girl wasn’t going to get better, so we ended up just making her as comfortable as possible for her final days. She passed away at home, by my husband’s side. I hope your situation has a better outcome. {hugs}

Rascal the Wonder cat went to be on Gods lap tonight. He was a loving and loyal companion and We will miss him terribly. He showed me what truly unconditional love looks like, and I hope to honor his memory by letting go of some of the baggage in my life. My avatar, the last photo taken of my buddy will remain. Thank you all for your support and advice. I am a better man from this experience.

I’m so sorry. More (((hugs))) headed your way!

((((((hugs)))))) so sad but glad to hear you speaking so positively about your relationship and this experience

@majorrich, he was a beautiful boy. I’m glad he isn’t suffering anymore but I know you must be missing him terribly.

@majorrich What a pretty kitty. I’m very sorry for your loss. {hugs}

Oh I’m so sorry. I hope your son is doing ok. Hugs to all.

@majorrich Awww…what a handsome boy. He will be charming the other kitties in cat heaven no doubt.

I’m sorry, @majorrich. He was a beauty. {hugs}

Im sorry, this is an awful question, but I’m honestly curious, do you still have to pay the vet? Because I know a couple of people who lost animals during vet care and they didnt end up being charged. I just don’t know if it was out of respect or if its standard procedure.

@majorrich My sincere condolences and {{{{hugs}}}}.

I’m so sorry for your loss. Liver failure is really difficult to treat or cure. Cats just can’t go that long without eating properly or the body begins to turn on itself. And they are so good at hiding their illness.

He was such a beautiful kitty and he’s at peace now. Hugs to you and your son.

I just came in from burying Rascal. I feel a sense of closure and peace about it. I held him for a little while (I know kind of gross to some) Sensed the lifelessness where we were playing just last week. I carefully arranged him in his sleeping position and earthed him in. I plan to plant a small tree next to the grave as a marker and a tribute. Once again, I thank you all for your sympathies and advice. They mean more to me than you may know. I’ve said it before, I fell in with the right crowd here. You are my friends. Will and I have decided not to look for any replacements until fall when he goes back to school and I need someone to keep me company during the day. I kind of like the look of Scottish Fold kitties.

Now I have tears too! Plant a beautiful tree. I love that idea. Sending you a hug @majorrich.

[hugs]