(NSFW) Guys, have you ever had this experience?

Yes, when I was younger, because of alcohol. When I was older, because of being overweight.

I’ve only had sex with one guy and he hasn’t had this particular issue (yet), but we did have a situation once that might be similar.

I’m not a huge fan of receiving oral sex. I don’t have anything against it; it just makes me feel self-conscious and uncomfortable, so we haven’t tried in a really long time. Plus, I have some ongoing gynecological issues so that in itself makes me feel icky. Well, before all that, after we first started having sex, I let him do it. He had just gotten back from working out of town and was really tired. We started fooling around, he was hard, and it was all good. He went down on me for a few minutes and when I pulled him up, I reached down and all I found was a soft penis. Wow, take about an ego blow. I was humiliated. He automatically started telling me it was because he was so tired, paired with him focusing on me so hard that he was distracted from his own erection. Well, I automatically thought I had a funny taste or smell, that he was grossed out by it, etc. Even though he assured me that was not true, I was horrified and nothing sexual happened that night because of it.

Shit happens. I’m sure the situation embarrassed him as well (he doesn’t like to discuss it), but you get over it and move on. Maybe you were tired or nervous or drunk. Maybe not. Just forget about it.

I’m 62 and have never had your problem. In fact I’m still capable of performing my husbandly duties far more often that my wife can handle. Sadly I hear stories like yours all the time and cam imagine how terrible that must be.

If this becomes a continuing issue then it would be a good idea for you to seek expert medical advice.

Good health!

@gondwanalon Really envying you right now.. But it is really an ego shattering thing for me. This has happened to me a lot when having sex with women. I was nervous. I believe the cause is over-masturbation. She said that it was ok, but I feel really bad. God its so horrible to go through this as a man, especially knowing that it has nothing to do with her. She has a terrific body, great personality and I feel like I failed with her. She said that she would see me again, but I feel like a weak nobody.

I’ve only had it happen a few times but it was because I was faaaaaaaaaaaaaaar to drunk to even be awake anymore.

Only once. The guy had me on a pedastal and when we got to the point of having sex… nothing happened. I felt very sorry for him. I think he was just so anxious about getting it right, it all went wrong.

If it makes you feel any better, even though I was a lot younger, I was mature enough to know it was a one-off problem and things would be fine once he setled down. So don’t stress about it.

I dont feel like a man anymore….

@Eggie Did you masturbate before seeing her? Give it at least a day off before you go out with her. And be easy on the alcohol. And talk to a doctor about it if it happens again after taking those precautions. The more you get your head wrapped around it, the more difficult it is to resolve. Just chalk it up to first time nervousness. The next time you are both naked, ask for her to help you get going with her hands and maybe a little lube.

@Eggie It truly isn’t as uncommon as some people here are making it seem.

Notice no one thinks it’s strange when a woman can’t get in the mood. It’s a double standard. Just because you have a penis doesn’t mean you should be hard and ready to go at any and all times. Nerves are a bitch, and our bodies don’t always work in the way you want it to.

@Eggie As bad as your experiences an condition is, I would gladly exchange my condition for your condition. My heart doesn’t pump blood efficiently. I have a lazy heart. Oh I feel fine just sitting around or doing mild exercise. But I had better not try to do some hard work. If I do I just feel miserable and totally exhausted after a very short time.

As others have said, if the problem persists, see a Doctor. Erectile dysfunction is a warning sign of heart disease and vascular problems like arteriolosclerosis. Also it’s a very common problem. Best wishes.

Are you going to see her again @Eggie? If you overthink this, you could set yourself up for future problems. Put it down to being overanxious and perhaps too much alcohol. If you feel worried it could happen again, don’t look to have sex until you feel very comfortable with your partner.

It can happen even to a healthy man sometimes due to stress of fatigue. It can sometimes be a result of anxiety or other psychological distress cause by something that happened before or during the attempted sexual encounter. Unless it becomes frequent or chronic, it is best that both partners avoid attaching any significance to that outcome.

@Dr_Lawrence Exactly. Well said. There’s absolutely no reason to see a doctor for one unfortunate occurrence.

I have had this happen to me sort of(i couldnt climax), its mostly because i stressed myself out. Just relax….

Thank you all so much!!!! Really thanks a lot for the support because I really needed it and I still continue to need it. Right now I feel really insecure because it happened already in the past with other girls and it didn’t turn out right. She on the other hand was really understanding and she said that she had encountered that problem before and that I shouldn’t really worry about it. The thing that made me feel really upset is that I really like this girl, and the confusing part was when I took her clothes off…she looked really hot. I just couldnt believe that happened to me again. I had masturbated the day before, so I guess that was the problem. I was scared of loosing her because I finally have another girlfriend after so long. I just didnt want to loose her especially after that incident. When that happened I felt so bad I honestly thought of suicide. Pathetic as it is but thats the truth. I didnt feel handsome anymore, I didnt feel like myself. It was like the earth moved from under me. It was like what she was thinking of me, because she came onto me first. She made me feel better though, because I called her last night and she said that she would see me again…but after her exams and she didnt seem upset or anything so I suppose its ok.

@Eggie read that post above mine again. Look at the immense pressure you are putting yourself under. No wonder you couldn’t perform! I’m glad the lady is sensible and isn’t fazed by this. Now respect her for that, take your time with her and perhaps wait until you feel a little more confident. Take things slow and build up to intercourse. Just so you are more familiar with her as a person and not so enthralled by her. I think you may ‘have her on a pedestal’ too! Don’t be so hard on yourself. It will be fine!

I just spoke to her….she thinks that it was her why it happened. How do I fix this?

You take her out, you let her know how attractive you find her and you take your time to build a relationship. Time. That’s what you both need. Learn about each other and then ‘learn about each other’ intimately. Don’t over think it. Really.

I have some really bad news. I went to the doctor to check up on myself and the doctor found out that I have a condition called varicose veins in my left testicle. She told me that in worst cases it can make me infertile.

@Eggie, why don’t you ask a question about this. I’m sure there will be people out there who have some knowledge about how this might impact you. Did your doctor give you sufficient information for you to feel you know what this means?

@Eggie Did your doctor say that was the cause of the erection issue? Because, according to a quick Google search, erectile dysfunction is not a symptom of your condition.

And also, apparently most varicoceles are harmless and cause no symptoms. Those symptoms include aching or pain that’s treated with wearing underwear that firmly supports the scrotum. I wouldn’t freak out about it, as 15% of young makes have this and most don’t even know it.