What's his deal?

Hey, welcome to Fluther.
How old are both of you? It’ll help people to understand this situation if we know if you two are 16 and at your first job, or adults and well into your lives and careers.
For instance, do you know if he is married? This sounds unlikely if he told other people at work about this situation, but it’s still possible.
It’s worth considering that he might be shy. I imagine that a lot of straight guys get sick of the expectation that they are supposed to initiate everything and pursue women by default.
Or he might just think that he’s having a bit of fun with you when the opportunity arises, and has no interest in taking things further, as you seem to.
Maybe you can ask him out for coffee or lunch and just ask him straight up what’s going on.

Welcome to Fluther!

I would suggest that maybe when he is out he’s had a drink or two and it’s lowered his inhibitions so he was able to kiss you. Then at work he’s a little more shy – or he feels he does not want to have a romantic relationship with someone he works with. It does sound as if he likes you. Maybe next time you are out with a group and he is acting like he’s into you, ask him if he wants to do something just the two of you. That might move the relationship further if he does truly like you.

Thank you for your responses! I’m 21 and he is 22.. My gut feeling is that he likes me, he wouldn’t keep in contact otherwise, right? But then I’ve heard ‘if he likes you he will ask you out’ ...which he hasn’t and it’s been over 4 weeks since our first kiss. But yeah I do think he’s more confident after a couple of drinks so maybe, hopefully that’s it!

I know firsthand that some shyish guys need “Dutch courage” to relax. Proceed with caution but maybe give him a gentle nudge when he is loosened up.

This is a very off-the-cuff response, so take it for what it’s worth. If you happen to see him when you’re out and he tries kissing you again, tell him no. Not in a mean way, just try saying something like, “You know, I don’t think this is a good idea. I’m getting mixed signals from you. If you’re interested in me, let’s go out some time but I’m done being the random girl that you kiss.” See how it goes.

I can understand why he might not want to approach you at work, but not why he would tell people. It sounds like he’s bragging, though that may not be true.

You can try asking him out. Unfortunately, I have no idea how that will work out.

Nothing wrong with asking questions like this on Fluther.

But nobody here knows the answer.

Why not just ask the guy?

Then you will know the answer, plus the answer will tell you a lot about him and you can decide if he is worth your time.

You are going to have to speak to him if you really want to get this cleared up. There is no way to know what he is thinking without asking him. Regarding the kisses, my first thought was along the lines of @janbb; a little liquid courage gave him the extra push he needed to be forward enough to kiss you. Talk to him, there is really no other way.

i know the answer: Stop waiting on him. If you like him YOU ask him out. what are you waiting for? Why do women always try to make guys do all the work? Don’t be lazy now ;)

I mean the guy up and kissed you.. twice! more than twice!
how much more does he have to do?

By now I’m sure you know something he might be interested in, an activity that he likes, maybe there is a new bar in town, etc. Ask him if he’d be interested in going out this weekend. If he declines, you’ve probably got your answer.

If he liked you and he was available he would ask you out. I’m afraid that you are just handy. Tell him to knock it off.

Does the J stand for Jamichael?

First, welcome to Fluther, @Stephlef19. I’d like to add a cautionary note. He may just want to bed you, not wed you. Proceed, but with eyes wide open.

Maybe he does not want to discuss this at work. He may want to keep your professional relationship as is. I would ask him the next time he wants a kiss.

Thank you all for your opinions, especially @gailcalled .. I think I’m just going to have to bite the bullet one way or another and ask him as nobody can read minds! There’s a few of us going out this weekend for a couple of quiet drinks for a birthday so if he goes too, then will be a good time! Thanks again all!

I’d just ask him on a lunch date and see if he accepts, if so, while alone and sober, ask him what’s up with the kisses and no conversations or dates.