Why are the girls at my school so vicious?

I don’t have an answer but it’s everywhere.. This was in my town last Friday.

It makes me sad that you have to go through this every day just to go to school.
I think that part of it may be the girls are trying to jockey for position, assert their dominance in their otherwise dreary existence.
Have you discussed this with your parents?

Because they’re teenage girls. I’m being dead serious. We had the same problem at my high school, and it was the extreme opposite of poverty. Teenage girls are bitches, for the most part. Try your best to ignore it, unless you think someone is going to get physical with you. Never ignore that.

This is one reason I hate public school.

Bitches be crazy.

I doubt very much that it is “every girl”. I know how it seems sometimes, just like how “every jelly” is a progressive liberal, and “every jelly” is an atheist. But it ain’t necessarily so. I doubt that it’s even a majority of the girls there, but a very active and vocal minority.

Part of your job will be to seek out those who are mature, as you seem to be, and grow your own inclusive, peaceful and rational group – and stand up for one another against the bullies. It’s not going to be easy, and in this I do not envy your youth; it wasn’t easy for me in high school, but it wasn’t as difficult as it appears to be for you, either.

As for walking away from a fight that you don’t want, who says there’s any shame in some ignoramus calling you “scared”? That’s smart.

If the fight comes to you anyway, aim for the soft, vulnerable and disabling parts of the body: the throat, eyes, side of the knee, top of the foot. If you stomp the top of an attacker’s foot or buckle the knee sideways the fight is over if you want it to be. Use your elbows, knees and feet, and don’t hit with your hands. For one thing, if you don’t know how to throw a punch there will be no power, and for another thing your fingers are not your strongest body part. You’ll break fingers and knuckles and be in pain for weeks. Don’t fight “fair”; fight to stop the fight.

I agree with those who said it is basically because they are teenage girls. They probably feel powerless in most areas of their lives, so being mean, nasty, and dominant at school makes them feel in control somewhere. I say do your best to keep to yourself and stay out of their way. You will not be able to change their behavior so it is best to give them a wide berth.

@snoberry, don’t fool ourself, this is not exclusive to public schools.

I’ve never known teenaged girls like that. Well, maybe one or two. But that certainly isn’t the norm for teenagers I’ve known and do know now. Sad. Very sad.

@WillWorkForChocolate But that’s what I don’t understand.

I mean, I’m 17 like them. But I know that physical fights aren’t the way to solve my problems. And I was poor and abused as a kid! I guess I beat the statistics, but jeez.

My parents never taught me that. I think I stopped hitting when I was in 3rd grade. And even then my fights were limited to my older brother. I wouldn’t dare hit someone I hardly knew.

These girls walk around boasting their unfortunate home lives like they’re survivors and they’re “tough” and they have no shame in physically attacking someone.
I don’t even think they realize that you can talk-out issues with other people. Their first reaction is “fight”.
And if you do try to talk to them, they just start yelling at you until you get so mad you have to either walk away fuming and be called a coward by anyone watching or fight with them. That’s unfortunately what usually happens.

@CWOTUS

No, I swear it’s every girl. Every girl except the geeky ones….but sometimes they get dragged into fights too.
I live in a small town…most of the girls aren’t too bright. They know they’re not getting out of here unless they get pregnant or married.
And the girls here outnumber the guys. So, they fight over the guys. A girl got dragged out of her car and beaten up over a guy.

So there’s always some beef between girls in my school.

@chyna I have spoken to my parents about it. There’s no private school around. The only one we have is 20 miles away and you have to be put in a lottery to have a chance at getting in.
I’m going into my Junior year, so there’s no point in even trying.
Homeschool isn’t option.

So they basically told me to suck it up.

There’s nothing they can do anyway. The school administrators won’t/can’t do anything about it.

@Feta I think your last quip may have hit on an important point. These girls say they have a horrible home life and many may have been abused. As a result of this abuse they may have developed a very strong “flight or fight” instinct and in order to feel powerful and in control they go with fight.

@Feta Well, every teenage girl can’t be like that, or they’d all be dead. ;) I sure wasn’t like that, but I had to fight off quite a few girls who were. It sounds like the ones you’re dealing with have an awful home life, and act out at school. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with it. As a woman who was once bullied by those same sort of vicious girls, I completely empathize.

Public schools are funded by the taxpayers. There is now a broad mandate against bullying in any public school.

If the school principal is ignoring an issue that could (and has been) be potentially dangerous to any student, the responsibity falls on the superintendent of the school district, who is next in line in the chain of command. Call your newspaper and get a reporter involved.

Or find a lawyer who does pro bono work.

Public school administrators are accountable; if even one student is hospitalized because of bullying, that is criminal negligence. If the school is ruled by a bullying mob, there is even more reason to make this information public.

@gailcalled

As soon as an article came up in the newspaper and it got out that I talked to a reporter, I’d be toast.

It’s a small town. Everyone knows everything…even about the level of violence in the school. I think they choose to ignore it, being that my town is very conservative, Christian.
They like to pretend like they’re high and mighty and ignore the fact that our town’s name is tarnished by the drug culture and poverty. And they just like to stay out of drama. Not that they don’t get the details, but they don’t get involved.

My school doesn’t play by the rules at all and it never has. A kid got yelled at and sent to the office for not standing up to say the pledge. He got suspended.
The superintendent’s daughter goes to our school. If someone makes her daughter mad, she’ll tell her mom and her mom is said to have made kid’s school lives a “living hell”.

By what means she does this, I don’t know.

Before Christmas there was a girl fight in the hall, a teacher pulled them apart and after they were gone he was like, “Wow, that was exciting! That was my first girl fight!”

And one of the girls tried to hit the female teacher that was holding her back.

And even the neighboring, more urban, towns know how bad our school is. Nothing is done about it. It’s just common knowledge that my school consistently generates white trash.

I mean, I don’t really know what a lawyer could do. But I’m sure as heck not going to find out. Suing the school for not protecting students against bullies would label me as a “wimp” instantly. I’m not a target now, but I would be then.

Reporters will never disclose a confidential source. No one ever need know your or your parents involvement.

What about an anonymous complaint to the state department of education?

The administration is breaking the law.

Do any of the grads go on to college? Are there college placement courses taught by responsible teachers who may be taking notice?

What state do you live in?

WTF? When I first saw this question I thought I was going to answer something along the lines of girls can be caddy and there are a lot of “mean” girls out there and people will put you down so they feel better about themselves. But, then I read the details, and the violence is shocking to me. I have no answer, I find it despicable.

I guess a lot of them are like that because they don’t have strong parental guidance, there might be a little bit of peer pressure in there, and also sometimes people think if you can’t beat them join them.

Hopefully, the school will do something to curb this behavior, but I assume it goes on off school property also. Will the police help? I guess calling the police just puts the person who calls in more danger. An anonymous call is a good idea as gail mentioned, or to a reporter.

Study hard, focus on college, and get out of there. Even if you wind up not wanting to go to college or having a career where college is not necessary, I still think if you can get some sort of scholarship go. Go away, live on campus. Go because you will be in a completely different environment and new things will be revealed to you. Get a job when you can and save up money.

Like @JLeslie said, I have never seen this rate of violence in schools!
Why in the world is anyone tolerating this!
As soon as someone touches you, you can charge them!
I bet a lot of people do not realize that? ( as long as you don’t provoke it).
Even If you cannot pay a lawyer, go talk to one anyways.
He/She has means to bring this behaviour to Public light.
Instead of assertive behaviour, it has turned to aggressive behaviour.
Time to call in the Cops, Now!
Get a group together or go by yourself if you want to get through school this year?

@Inspired_2write After reading your answer it makes me realize the group silence is a real problem. What if the cops were called every single time? Then maybe it would stop. The problem is the risk. The people who are abused, and this is abuse, the students are being terrorized by their peers, anyway the people being abused are the first ones who would be suspected of doing the cop calling, and risk being harmed worse. Abusers often strike harder when they fear they are losing their control, and this seems like controlling behavior to me. Cops should be flooding that school in my opinion. 10 cops every day for months. It is worth the tax payer money. This affects children the rest of their lives.

@Feta don’t you understand that you are actually participating in this in your own way when your response to my earlier suggestion is No, I swear it’s every girl. Every girl except the geeky ones….

That kind of individuation and gradation (and degradation) of other students is what allows this whole culture to thrive. If you won’t recognize that there is no inherent difference between you and “the geeky ones”, then there’s not much difference, either, between you and the bullies.

There’s no hope for you if you won’t recognize that.

Something doesn’t add up in all this. The examples, @Feta used, the Pledge of Allegiance and the superintendent’s ability to make someone’s life miserable, don’t jive with the comments that everyone knows about the violence, yet they do nothing.

@snowberry You are aware there are great public schools and bad private schools, right?

This is going to sound bad but are they mostly Hispanic?

@JLeslie @Feta
Last night I could not stop from thinking about this girls problem and how to tackle it?
I found a website that addresses this issue verywell. http://www.amle.org/publications/middleschooljournal/articles/january2006/article2/tabid/693/default.aspx

Here it explains that EVERY LEVEL in that school system is at fault.
From Administrators,teachers,pupils etc!

Intimidation ONLY works if one feels Intimidated!
It starts from feeling unworthy.

This website explains how a bully works and by what methods on this website.

If one is physically attacked, THEN call both a lawyer and cops!
Bullies usually use the ‘divide and conquer” method by dividing the groups
of girls so that THEY do not form a group/gang against them!
Bullies are very insecure individuals who are afraid too.

IF say the intimidated girls formed a ‘AntiBullying” group of their own….they can
out maneuver the Bullies.
I suggest Feta gather those that are being intimidated and form a group.
Get the Head of the School in on it, but IF she/he is also intimidated,go over HER
head and keep going until you and everyone feels that a safe environment is accomplished.
Get the Administrators in on it!
Keep going up the ladder of authority until you get peace.
Good luck, you can do it. Confidence in your own self worth is the key.

@Inspired_2write I can’t help thinking girls being physically violent like this is a newish thing. Maybe statiscally I would be proven wrong, but 20+ years ago I don’t think girls were physically bullying like boys, more they used shaming and teasing.

The local high school where I lived about 9 years ago was 83% Hispanic and 12% African American and 5% White, it was also notorious for violence, the year before I was supposed to attend there had been 3 students stabbed and 1 teacher was assaulted. Being the naturally bitchy white girl that I am, I would have been fighting bitches all year long because Im the kind of person who has no problem talking shit to your face. My mom knew it wouldn’t be a good school for me so I started attending an alternative HS doing independent study. It was great because I only had to go for 1–2 hours 1 day a week to turn in assignments and get more work. Much safer, maybe you should look into trying that, it cuts out all the high school politics and hierarchy bullshit.

Actually, @cheebdragon does bring up a good point that it might be safer to go to school, or do school somewhere else. I wonder if the OP has told her parents about the violence?

@Blackberry I went to a “good” school, and it was a horrible experience. I am not a fan, never will be.

@snowberry I totally understand, Snowberry. I also had an isolated experience that caused me to suspend all logic and disregard anything related for the rest of my life. It’s the only way to live, I tell ya.

Short version. They lack control and feel inferior, so brute strength is all that is left. If they had any real sense of self worth and self control then they would realize that fighting is a waste a time and and keeps them away from real personal growth.

@JLeslie
In my day, of course there was bullying, but instead of drugs it was “hard whiskey”!
Lots of racism then too.
( mid 1960’s when race riots occurred, in the U.S. mostly, not so much from our school(Canada) as it was an acdemic school only).
Some girls tried the bully tatics and were successfull in terrorizing some.
I never had a fight in my life at school as I always, somehow managed to offset bully
confrontation with talking ( in calm quiet voice) directly with the leader.
They usually backed down and whatever anger that they felt dissipated.
Ex: Four girls (bullies drinking whiskey in the bathroom) held back a large group of girls from
getting into the bathroom at school , just using threatening gestures and anger!
The group of girls numbered triple the amount of bullies yet they were successfull in
intimidating twelve girls?
I happened to be on that scene as I too had to use the bathroom ( two in the school).

Not knowing what had happened I just walked in where upon one girl banishing a bottle
while tippsy(?) confronted me by trying to block me from using the stalls.
I ignored her and stepped right in fron of her and closed the stall door.
When I came out three of the bullies greeted me.

Again I stepped past them to the sink to wash my hands, ignoring them.
Turned around to go then realized that I recognized the leader?
A girl that I had took the time to talk briefly with.

I talked with her in a calm quiet voice and her anger subsided,just enough for me to
find out the reason for there bathroom takeover scenerio?
They were bored of school and wanted a place to ‘drink” by themselves.
They were bussed from out of town to this school.(regulations then).

I told them that there were other places than school to go too.
I explained that they had in effect waved a flag to the authorities “come get me“by
taking over the bathroom which was directly across from the Principals Office?

Told them better to go outside (summe) to drink on the grounds IF that IS WHAT they
really wanted?
They were agreeable to that and proceeded to miss school by there drinking habits etc
No one had any more problems from them again.

Years later I met that ‘leader”.
She had indeed had become an alcoholic and had quit school (age 16yrs)?
However at the time I met her again she was in rehabilitation and getting her education finished.
She was on the right path then.

@Inspired_2write What’s your point?

@Feta

If you’re still following this question, here is a video that I just watched (posted on a friend’s Facebook page) that may be eye-opening to you.

Someone has to start the process. It might as well be you. If you’re nervous about calling the local cops, then call the State Police where you are and inform them of that, too. No one should have to be afraid to call the police to combat actual crime in their own town!

@JLeslie
The point was to demonstrate their real reasons for their behaviour and how I had handled it then.

@Inspired_2write You confused me because I had asked you about physical violence being more often and more pronounced now vs. 20 years ago, and I didn’t see anything about that in your response to me. Your answer seems better directed at the OP. Unless I missing something?

@JLeslie
“physical violence being more often and more pronounced now vs. 20 years ago”
It was prevalent always in the background.
The difference from then and now is that it is more advertised openly using tech
devices onto the internet.

@Inspired_2write In your story I don’t think the girls actually hurt anybody. They just intimidated everyone. I tried to google a little, but don’t have much time now. I found this that says violence has increased, but doesn’t say how much.

@CWOTUS I wasn’t trying to separate myself from the “geeks”...I’m actually part of that of group. I mean, I mingle in and out of different cliques.

The only segregation in my school is between those girls and the rest of us. I talked to one of them before and she seemed really nice and quiet. I mean, I’ve tried to be friends with them, but I really don’t want to be associated with that. It’s like as soon as you’re in it, that’s it. You can only talk amongst them or the few stoner outsiders that they trust.

I only used that term because I didn’t know what else to call them. Most of them are proud of the word “geek” anyway.

And to everyone else who suggested it ( @Inspired_2write , @JLeslie )

The police here are corrupted as well. Several of the girls involved in this group actually have fathers that are police officers.
One of them said her dad used to go to work drunk.
And one of them said her dad knows she dips tobacco and does nothing about it. She got in trouble for it from a teacher and the teacher called her dad. He just told her not to do in school.

And they’ll do drug busts around here and take the drugs and then use them or sell them out to kids again, only to later bust those kids for the drugs they sold them.

^^ that’s a story I’ve heard from a lot of kids around here ^^

I wouldn’t know, I don’t have many run-ins with the law. But I’ll take their word…they’ve lived here longer than I have.

So I doubt, if I snitched to the cops about this group of girls, that they’d REALLY punish their daughters or their daughters friends.

Basically the only thing that would happen is the officer would probably tell his daughter and she’ll spread it around and then I’ll get my face pulverized after school.

They don’t care about their target.

They beat up a pregnant girl and slammed her to the ground. Her baby was born with a lot of problems.

But nobody files assault around here. That will get you worse than just beat up.

@Feta Really sucky situation. What grade are you in?

@Feta said, “I’m going into my Junior year…”

Good, just two more years and she is out. I hope she gets far away.

Unfortunately the truth is that if anyone gets wind that you have reported it, you will be everyones new target. Just be prepared for that.