What should I do about my boyfriend who will be leaving soon?

“I don’t see us getting married or anything” ——Then I would say don’t change your life for each other, just focus on doing you and remain friends, then in the future something may or may not happen.

In all honestly, most young couples don’t last a lifetime anyway. Letting someone go to be who & what they want/ need to be is very big of you, even if difficult, been there.

Why don’t you just ask him casually “So what’s going to happen to our relationship when you go away to school?” That will start the conversation and thoughts about what the two of you want and are willing to do.

@KNOWITALL is right on. Let it be just as it is, just don’t be surprised when either of you is ready to move on to something else. He may meet someone, you may meet someone. But stay friends, and keep in touch with him, even if you both know that you are not still boyfriend and girlfriend.

Hmmm….yeah that’s what I figured will happen. Thank you!

@jca I’ll definitely have to do this….nervous though! Since I’m not sure what should happen I have no suggestions. That’s probably good though because I don’t want to influence him one way or the other. I’d like to know what heee thinks. The way you worded that sounds like it’d be a good way to go. Thanks!

:)

Most young relationships don’t survive a college separation for too long. If you can determine that you will continue to see each other when you can but not be exclusive it might be the easiest transition. The best thing is to make sure you are both – at least intellectually – on the same page as regards what the rules are so that there is no deception.

Do? Nothing.
He entered a casual relationship and will continue to in the future perhaps?
He seems to be taking it slow and probably trusts that the relationship will last
through the separation process.
IF he wants to discuss it he will, when he misses you.

@yankeecandlee Welcome to Fluther. My younger son’s girlfriend is in New York working on her JD degree while he is here in Boston. So far, that seems to suit the two of them just fine. They both are busy as beavers with things in their own realm, and getting together here or there on holiday weekends has been enough to keep them connected so far. Now mind you, they are less than a year into a process that’s going to take several more years. It remains to be seen whether the relation weathers the entire separation. I’ve talked with my son about it, and he recognizes that and is willing to just take things as they come.

Some others advise just seeing how the chips fall. That might be wise counsel. It would certainly tell you how important he thinks you are in his life, and how important you think he is in yours. Personally, I think I would have a talk about it. I’d ask him if he wants the two of you to remain exclusively committed to one another, or if he thinks you should date others from time to time and see how committed the two of you remain. That’s just me recognizing that he’s a guy at the height of his testosterone production curve and will be on a college campus 1,000 miles from you surrounded by beautiful and intelligent girls. I mean what could possibly go wrong, besides terminal testosterone poisoning?

Unless both parties to such a relationship can see this relationship resulting in marriage and a life together, then don’t tie yourself up in a long distance relationship that has little chance of lasting. It is not worth the pain and all the other costs you are unwilling to endure.

You can stay in touch by e-mail or mail if you like but unless the relationship becomes a high priority for both of you very soon, be prepared to move on.

Thank you all for all the well thought out, fabulous advice!

So just an update!

We did talk about it and we decided to stick it out. There was no problem then and there isn’t one now so why not let it keep working while it does work. If it stops working…well then we’ll cross that bridge then.

We do the best we can texting wise but since we’re both so busy, we try to talk or FaceTime at least once a week. There’s been a couple of instances thus far (that probably go with the adjustment period I suppose) that we’ve had an issue with communication which lead to a little tiff. But they smoothed over rather quickly.

So like I said….we’ll make it work as long as it will work :)

I’m so glad we talked about it (casually brought up I may add ;P) and came figured out what we are going to do.

Thanks again for all of y’all’s answers!!

@yankeecandlee Wonderful. Eyes wide open. The very best way to walk down life’s boobytrap laden path. Good luck.