What does the phrase "Do whatever you want to" mean to you? (Possible NSFW depending on responses)

In the context you gave, she would rather you did not go.

It means you have to talk it out more. I wouldn’t take it as a positive.

@janbb how about as a negative (or at least having negative consequences depending on the decision I make)?

It very well could be but I think you need to do some major talking with her to find out how she really feels. It may well be that she is conflicted and needs to explore her reactions more too. And then you have to weigh her feelings against your desire to go.

How about you ask her, instead of assuming she is trying to somehow trap you?

Sounds like the two of you have a great relationship.

If my wife said that, under those circumstances, it would mean “I couldn’t care less” — as in, “You’re a grown man. Make a decision you boob”.

If she didn’t want me to go, she’d say, “I wish you didn’t have to go”.

@rojo how have you lived to a marriageable age and gotten married without knowing this in your bones already?

When your wife says It means:
ARE YOU WILLING TO: This means you better do it.

FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use “fine” to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of “those” arguments.

FIVE MINUTES: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it’s an even trade.

NOTHING: This means “something” and you should be on your toes. “Nothing” is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually signifies an argument that will last “Five Minutes” and will end with the word “Fine”.

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over “Nothing” and will end with the word “Fine”.

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows): This means “I give up” or “do what you want because I don’t care”. You will get a “Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead” in just a few minutes, followed by “Nothing” and “Fine”, and she will talk to you in about “Five Minutes” when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here arguing with you over “Nothing”.

SOFT SIGH: Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. “Soft Sigh” means that she is content. Your best bet is not to move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT’S OKAY: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. “That’s Okay” is often used with the word “Fine” and in conjunction with a “Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead”. At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO: This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn’t get a “That’s Okay”.

THANKS: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say “you’re welcome”.

THANKS A LOT: This is much different than “Thanks”. A woman will say “Thanks A Lot” when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the “Loud Sigh”. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the “Loud Sigh” as she will only tell you “Nothing”.

What is the position of her eyebrows as she says “whatever you want”? In this context, that information is crucial.

<Facepalm>

@glacial Fist bump!

For me, it would mean, do whatever you want.
You know your wife, so you’re probably right in your assumption.

There is a sinister undertone to that phrase that you ignore at your peril.

It means that you can do whatever you want to, depends on the tone & the attitude of the person saying it though but.

“Go ahead and do it, but one way or another, i will make you regret that choice.”

@CWOTUS: Link to source?

In that context and for that length of time it means go ahead and do it, if you want me to make your life miserable for a long time when you get back if you don’t talk it out with me some more.

Knowing neither party and nothing about the relationship, that sound passive-aggressive to me and filled with glass shards.

I would insist on a reasonable conversation when she has cooled down.

And there is your phrase “when I asked to take a multiweek trip…” That is an odd choice of words. Why would you ask?

It is similar to saying “Whatever you say” which sometimes is what people say when they are tired of endless disagreement and have surrendered.

The good news is, I am not there to get context.

I get passive-aggressive from this statement.

You know the tone of voice she used. Was it a “hey honey, do whatever you want to do’ type of voice or a ‘hmmmph! do whatever you want to’ tone?

If you aren’t sure – talk to her more.

If she doesn’t want you to go, find out why.

If you felt she really meant it, you wouldn’t be asking? I mean you are probably right that she would rather you decide not to take it.

Guys, thanks to all for the answers. But I guess I was not clear. I know what it means to me and for me and why. Here is the rope, hang yourself if you want to. What I wanted to know was what does it mean to you when you hear it or say it.
BTW those who read passive-agressive are correct. At least in my opinion.

I’m not sure what you want from us @rojo? Can you clarify, do you mean what would we do if someone said this to us in that tone/or why do we respond this way? I have a headache so perhaps my brain’s a bit fried today and I’m just missing the point.

That’s been all over the Internet, @Jeruba, but the page I copied from was here.

It really depends on the tone of a persons voice. There have been times when I said it to my husband because I didn’t want him to know that I was happy to have an excuse for not going. Sometimes he thinks it means that I am upset that I can’t go and I have to make up further excuses because he won’t buy (I’m tired and don’t want to go, so really, knock yourself out!) If I do that, then he says he won’t go unless I go. So I have to be very careful. I have to look like I regret not going and missing all the fun but not seem upset. Funny enough. If I say that I don’t want to be left behind and hate being left behind (especially if its because I’m sick). He will try to find so many different ways for me to go to the point I say. Fine, just GO! Now, that he doesn’t get? LOL

@Bellatrix what I was looking for was basically what @Pandora and @KNOWITALL gave me (thanks to both) and that is “this is what I mean when I say it”. The other part, is “this is what I hear when you say it” which would be in line with what @josie and @Adirondackwannabe (thanks guys) said.

@CWOTUS thanks for the laugh.

To clear up any confusion….....Passive Agressive Notes

Awesome site!

I would definitely agree with @marinelife , she does not want you to go, but doesn’t want to show it.

She is saying she doesn’t care, but she is screaming that she does. Sorry, but that’s it.