Why do men cheat?

In most species, humans included, males attempts to spread their genes as much as possible by having as much sex with as many females as possible.

The concept of “cheating” is a societal construct, and one not shared by all societies.

Sometimes the poontang is just too good to pass up, James.

Because they are mostly stupid.

Because those who do have their brains located in their groin…kind of a dick head in reverse.

No, seriously….

Why do women cheat? Do you expect the reasons to be different?

Please let this not become a man bashing thread. Sexism is bad, mkay.

@cheebdragon Proven falsehood : “Dr Kanazawa’s research, in the journal Social Psychology Quarterly, also claims that intelligent people are less likely to believe in God or hold conservative views.”. Source discredited due to sheer weight of contrary evidence. Try again.

Women cheat because they own the most powerful asset known to mankind…a vagina.

@jerv Risking your marriage or relationship, home, children, reputation and future, just to fuck someone. yeah, clearly the choice an intelligent person would make. Why think things through when you can give away half your shit instead?~

The fact that anything is at risk is, as @jerv points out, a societal construct, it is not inherently so.

Just wanted to point out that my first post was in jest. Cheaters are scum. I don’t think there is ever any justification to cheat on your partner. Motherfuckers need to grow up.

@cheebdragon And what of cultures that practice polygamy? Or those where having a mistress is not only acceptable, but normal? You view this strictly from the viewpoint of a 21st century American; I see it around the world and throughout history.

The grass always seems greener…

But it’s usually really not.

It’s not the same for every man of course.

Ego: some other woman tells them how great they are.

Challenge: conquer the next one.

Learned behavior: Their dad’s did it, the behavior was modeled for them, and they repeat it in their own life.

Test the waters: Thinking about leaving the current SO.

Don’t take committment seriously: They meet someone they have great chemistry with and ignore their committment. They don’t understand they will continue to meet people who they have great chemistry with even after they make a commitment.

The practice is certainly not done only by men, the reasons women cheat are pretty similar to the reasons men cheat.
Adding to @JLeslie‘s list : they don’t take their commitments seriously enough to stop them.

@cheebdragon
I’m with @jerv. And the fact that an assertion makes sense to you doesn’t mean it’s true. That’s what proper research has to find out. The kind you read about in a trustworthy source, not in the Daily Mail.
Incidentally, what you’re talking about isn’t about intelligence, it’s about self-control. You think people cheat because it never occurred to them that it’s a risky idea? We all know procrastination and smoking and staying up late are bad ideas and look how many people struggle with those things.
Intelligence and making good choices are not the same thing at all.

Women also cheat. A lifetime is a long time to spend with only one other person.

Low selfesteem, boredom, lack of interest in their so, lack of morals, no empathy. My bro in law has an open marriage.

it is not isolated to men. people cheat on eat other for various reasons.
At a core it indicates the relationship has vulnerabilities and there is a lack or respect.

It is also symptomatic of the scourge of our times, pathological narcissism.
A sense of entitlement, grandiosity in thinking one has the right to have, take and exploit whatever they want along with a weak sense of self, no inner convictions and a need to be admired and fawned upon.

Narcissists need to be admired and made to feel special as they have no true self and it is only from outside attention that they feel “real.”

What about women who cheat, same thing happens you know. Take all these answers and flip them around.

@Coloma Well said.

@Coloma Really, you don’t think people cheated before “our times”?

I thing that the answer that @cheebdragon gave “Because they are mostly stupid” is brilliant!

Married men who cheat are committing social suicide. And for what? a few seconds of pleasure? That is just plain craziness!

“for what? a few seconds of pleasure? ” For some, considering the state of the marriage, that might seem a lot better than nothing. It’s an act of desperation and longing.

@glacial Of course they did, but narcissism is rampant in our society in the last 35 years or so.

Both men and women cheat. In fact studies have shown females cheating more than males these days. Which is attributed to the female workforce increasing. There are so many reasons, from serial cheaters, to not being able to hurt the person you are with so rather get what you need elsewhere, to just spending too much time with a person (proximity) that leads to an affair that you didn’t even want. I think it is very much a case by case situation. But also i think it is the fact that so many people are willing and available too.

@jerv the question was in regards to “cheating.” I assume the op was referring to the act deceiving a significant other and having secret relations with someone else for their own personal gain. I’d imagine this excludes cultures where trysts are known, accepted and promoted by the significant others.

@Silence04 That wasn’t specified, so I didn’t make that assumption. Too many in our culture consider anything aside from pure monogamy “cheating” for me to do so.

I recently read Predictable Irrationality by Dan Ariely that touched on this matter.

One of the reasons men and women cheat because in a rational nonaroused state they can’t reliable predict what they will do in an aroused state.

They don’t understand themselves in this state an thus take risks which lead them to temptation and arousal. Which then occurs a shifting in priorities and morals, a primal nonthinking reacting state.

Of course there are many reasons for cheating.

@jerv if its socially acceptable with that culture, it wouldn’t be considered cheating since they accept it.
Please enlighten me to any aspects of cheating that you find to be intelligent in any way….I’d love to know.
There are different ways to measure intelligence, taking risks has nothing to do with being smart, its a gamble, you might come up, or you might end up paying alimony and child support. Lack of self control is not associated with intelligence in any way either.
Problems in the marriage does not excuse cheating since there are always options available to work on the marriage, it’s nothing more than a cop-out.

Chris Rock says a man is only as faithful as his options. LOL.

I think, to add to @Jleslie’s list, some people of all genders are impulsive. They see food they want, they eat it, they see a person they want sexually, they go for it.

I don’t consider an open relationship, as mentioned by someone previously, as cheating. Just my opinion – if the spouse gives permission, then I don’t view it as cheating.

I think (again, just my opinion) that sometimes marriages and long relationships lose the spark, so people cheat because they want the spark back. The wife is tired of the hubby, the hubby is tired of the wife, they fight with each other, whatever, and then the hubby sees a young thing who is attentive and flirty and wham-o, that’s all she wrote.

Because they are not happy. That’s the only real reason, the apparent cause. Finding the root of that problem requires finding out why they are unhappy. Most men want a long-term, stable, and fulfilling relationship. It’s not normal for cheating to occur in a healthy relationship. It’s a symptom of other problems.

Ancient genes.