What are some comebacks to this rude pregnancy remark?

Reply Well in 2 more months I won’t be pregnant, but you’ll still be ignorant, or your other favorite putdown.

There’s the old comeback, “When I want you opinion, I’ll rattle your cage.”

Personally, I would just ignore them. I’m quite sure people don’t mean to be rude and upset you. They think their being cute, or funny. You’re very sensitive right now I would imagine. I know I was when I was pregnant. Things you say to people now may come back to haunt you later when you aren’t so emotional. So think about it before you respond with a touchy remark. It might just make things worse plus if you upset someone you care about, who is just being insensitive, you’ll feel worse!

Dear Abby always came up with something that reflected just how inappropriate they were being – “That’s so sweet of you.” and then walk away, or something along those lines. (If you wanted to be extra passive aggressive, you could say “Oh, thank you, I was feeling sensitive about my weight, but now I feel much better.” Or what my sister did, and say “What are you talking about? I’m not pregnant.”)

Or you could always try the Southern passive-aggressive thing, ‘Bless your heart.”

How about saying: Well, I’ll be thin again pretty soon but you’re stuck with being a jerk forever.

I know, I know, you can’t really say that, but thinking about should make you feel a little better.

their = they’re… rollling eyes.

The fact is, a whole lot of people are morons, have no social skills, or both.

A clever comeback will change nothing. Most of them do not even know they are morons or have no social skills.

They will simply reply “What’s your problem!?” and they will earnestly believe it is your problem.

You are better off simply keeping track of the people who share your values, and standards, and make sure you spend your sacred precious time with them.

Blow off the rest.

If you let every idiot on Earth get under your skin, you will be be in a constant state of irritation. It will interfere with your happiness, shorten your life, and for no good reason.

@Pachyderm_In_The_Room I like that.

Take @josie‘s advice. Ignore them the best you can, say nothing, and change the topic or leave the room. Let them try to make the comeback of “a sincere apology”. I’m sure you’re absolutely glowing on your good days; keep in mind, as you do anyway, what you’re going to get out of this and illegitimati non carborundum. (In fact, that would be a decent “comeback” to just say all sweet and nice – without translation – as you change the topic.)

I shouldn’t even reply to this because I think @josie is right, and it’s pointless to waste our mental and emotional energy on people who don’t know any better than to behave like boors. Nothing we say back is going to improve their behavior. But I’d be tempted to say to the first bunch, “Swallowed a watermelon? Why, no, I’m having octuplets,” and to the second, “What do you mean? No, I swallowed a watermelon.” I’m sure Dear Abby would not approve.

When you’re expecting a baby, people become complete idiots… true enough.

They are mostly trying to be genuine and share in your expectation – though the approach needs a lot of finesse.

Simply “I’m right on track for my term. Things are looking great!” (btw, do you really need that ice cream?... thought parenthetically to yourself)

Most of the time people do mean well. Accept that and move along. Soon, you’ll be carrying a babe in arms and nobody will notice YOU at all.

If you want to cut through their deep layers of social incompetence and get a message through to them, and if you have some acting skills, first look stricken, then begin to cry, then dash out of them room exclaiming as you go; “I can’t stand it anymore. Everyone keeps telling me what a bloated whale I look like…” After that, avoid contact with them for a good long while, and block their caller ID and email. Because they will try to contact you with the intention of making your reaction to their social ineptitude all your fault.

“Fuck off and die” usually gets the point across.

I think most people that behave that way dont have malicious intent. Why would you then react in obscured or (passive) aggresive ways that may likely lead to misunderstandings?

Why not just let them know that they hurt a sensitive side of you and allow them at least a chance to change their approach?

Like “Yes, I know… I wish you wouldn’t say that… I feel awful about some of the the ways my body reacts to this pregnancy. Do you really think I look that bad?”.

People that continue harassing you after that are jerks and why would you care about anyhing they say? People that care about you will likely show a warmer, more pleasant side of themselves.

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies That’s right. I have no imagination so I can’t think of something, but if I was in that situation, I would save my energy for the baby, not some fuck with shitty comments about how big I looked. A great ol fuck you will get the point across, then I wouldn’t have to deal with them anymore.

aw sorry you’re going through this!

don’t worry shrug it off.

My wife is quite tall, 5“11, & due to her “long trunk” as the doctors call it, had a fairly small bump when she was pregnant with our 2 kids. So she got the flip side with comments like…“eeh, you’re not very big are you?” or ” you’d never know you were pregnant.”
She punched someone in the face for being so fucking crass & blamed it on the hormones…I laughed long & loud.

Don’t immediately assume everyone is being nasty. They don’t know what to say. Some women are happy and jump at the chance to talk about their pregnancy.
If they are not intentionally being cruel I’d ignore it or make a small joke back.

I’d smile and say “John thinks it’s a pumpkin . I’m leaning toward watermelon. In two months we’ll find out.”

I am a fairly petite 5-foot tall woman, who went a full 42 weeks and had a 10½ lb. baby. My belly was GINORMOUS. Comically huge. I was also sick and miserable the entire time. Not at all the shining light of the expectant mother. As if this weren’t plainly obvious by looking at my gaunt face, pale complexion, and pained expression, people had the nerve to be all happy and giddy around me – or on the flip side, make stupid rude comments about my likely age and marital status.

For what it’s worth – I was 22 (though I look young) and married (though I was swollen in my hands and my ring didn’t fit.)

I seriously considered carrying around a whiffle ball bat in order to beat people who made stupid comments.

I also considered having a t-shirt made: “Yes, I’m pregnant, Due in August. Don’t know the sex. No you may not touch me.”

10½lb…bet that made ya eyes water.

It still is. ^_^

If you’re really only 5 feet tall you just got even cuter :)

okay, so that was some cheesy shit…I get it, okay!! :P

Wuv ya, @ucme.

Ha, coming from a dedicated trekkie i’ll take that as a huge compliment.

Ugh… I always get the “Are you sure there is only one?” question (I have big babies). With the first one I got “You look too young to be pregnant!”, to which I would reply, “That’s because I am. I was raped.”

I used to feel entitled to put people in their place… but now I smile and move on. Don’t get bent out of shape about it. You are literally growing a human inside of you. That’s amazing. Add in your complications, and you’re practically a saint. Keep taking care of you and baby fetus like it’s your job… because it is.

Hang in there… it’s temporary.

@Cupcake “That’s because I am, I was raped”—That. Is. Awesome. Why didn’t I think of that?

And don’t worry, the pregnancy comments are temporary, and then you get the Random Strangers Telling You How to Parent comments. Like “Are you SURE he’s wearing enough clothing?” Uhm, it’s summer in Florida. 95 degrees outside. Should he be in a snowsuit? “Why isn’t he wearing shoes?!?” He’s four months old. Not running any marathons today, but thanks. “Why don’t you breastfeed in the bathroom?” If it bothers you that much, why don’t you go eat in the bathroom?”

While I was still recovering from my surgery I had to tell someone why I could not bend or lift.. I told him the truth. I had my prostate removed.
The guy immediately asked me: “Does that mean you can’t get an erection?”
Rather than hit him in the face I realized he just didn’t know. It was a teachable moment – for both of us.

The guy who asked me that stupid question was unloading, and then stacked, a full cord of wood without my help.

Don’t assume the worst in people. Most of them, even strangers, mean well.
Think about it. Often they are saying that while they’re holding the door for you or letting you go first.

How about saying“i can’t believe that you said that?”

Gotta go with @LuckyGuy on this one, they’re just trying to share your joy.