(NSFW) No "intimacy" for peace of mind?

“Sometimes I feel the need or thought of sexual desire is redundant and not necessary.”

Redundant yes. Not necessary, no… it is quite necessary. Both observations are critical for the survival of humanity. Nothing could be more natural.

Though I suppose, that some folks may have a subconscious inclination to weed themselves out of the gene pool. Negating sexual desire is a good start for accomplishing that goal.

But if the goal is to achieve peace of mind through abstinence, then any form of abstinence should satisfy the ego. Prohibiting chocolate, or a social media fast, would demonstrate just as much discipline, and thereby prop the ego with a sense of control over random chaos. Within that sense of control, lies the peace of mind. For the person realizes they are no longer a victim.

Or you could just eat five dried grams of psilocybin mushrooms and get there without all the drama. Careful with that.

Many ways to skin a cat. Most roads lead to Rome… eventually.

I can’t sleep unless I have a “release” of some sort, so goodluck on your journey. Everyone is different, and if that works for you, do it.

Given the relatively short time it takes to masturbate and the number of hours left in the day left to do other things, I say, “Go for it.”

Or don’t. Your thinking is your thinking. It doesnt’t need a label.

How about an experiment. Don’t have any orgasms (by any means) for a month, and see how productive and content you are. Then have as many as you can. Compare and contrast. (I guess we couldn’t call this a double-blind study.)

I think masturbation is yummy. I find all sorts of different ways to enjoy it. Probably most I wouldn’t share here. The point is they are never meaningless. I feel so impressed with my escapades that I look forward to the next time. So maybe you need to kink it up a little? Just a thought!

Try it for a while and see.

I did it for two years once, but that had to do with exploring a religious vacation. It did improve my peace of mind, and my body took care of itself through wet dreams without any effort on my part.

For a secular perspective, you might track down what the cartoonist Dave Sims (creator of Cerebus the Aardvark) has to say on the subject (sorry I don’t have a link). I respect his work, but that guy has problems. It’s hard to say whether his experiments with celibacy helped or not.

Maybe a truly meaningful relationship would be better for you than celibacy. Unfortunately, unlike celibacy, it takes more than willpower to achieve one of those.

Argh. Vocation, not vacation. More about that on this thread.

Also, after poking around a bit online, I’m not sure whether Sims started experimenting with celibacy before or after his religious conversion.

Maybe you have a form of asexuality.

I have tried it several times in my life and it does help you focus on other things better. Sometimes, especially with very sexual people, it can become more of a focus in your life than anything else, distracting. Not everyone can ‘turn it off’ easily per se, but if you have the self-discipline, it can be beneficial.

I advise that you try to control the masturbation, as over masturbating can hamper your sexual health, as for trying to have a more meaningful peace of mind, try to have a relationship with someone. I think that it is better to succumb to your urges but in the right way.

It really depends. Ask people around you. LOL
Some people think that they are better focused when they aren’t engaging in any kind of sex or relationship and what they do, is become obsessed about other things. These obsessions slowly eat away at their happiness and they become a thorn to others around them.

I’ll give you an example. There was this guy my husband worked with. He wasn’t in any kind of relationship. He worked at least 14 hours a day and felt it was ok to call people about work at 10 pm because he was still at the office. He didn’t seem to care that others have a life and don’t sleep to just work and go back to sleep again. People at his job avoided him like the plague. He was often short tempered. I’m sure he thought he was fine and that everyone else was the problem.
I’ve known several people (male, female, gay, straight) throughout my life that behave this way.
A healthy sexual relationship is often needed to blow off some steam. There are people who absolutely do not need sex or have ever shown any interest in it. But once that genie gets let out of the bottle, it is hard to put back in.

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies You kind of confuse me on some things. I disagree with the idea that any form abstinence would be the same as any other. When you say ego not sure what you mean typically I find ego is associated with negative things.

The road to rome thing I don’t get it.

When we speak of abstinence, are we not really speaking of gaining control over what is previously thought to be uncontrollable? The urge for sex, the urge for chocolate… doesn’t matter what the urge is for. What really matters is the urge itself.

If it’s not the ego, which is ultimately satisfied by controlling urges, then what is? Certainly it is the ego which suffers the guilt by falling prey to uncontrollable urges… is it not? The reward of controlling any urge is satisfaction. What is there to satisfy, if not the ego? What is the accomplishment or guilt played out upon, if not the ego?

Your disagreement about any form of abstinence being equal is shrouded within your own personal perspective. An alcoholic would argue that his abstinence from liquor is a much greater feat than abstinence from sex. A diabetic might feel the same about chocolate. Each of us fights our own devil. Who’s to say which devil is the strongest?

As to Rome (satisfaction), most roads will get you there, eventually. Don’t let the pot holes, inclement weather, and/or bandits deter you. Just stay on course, and you’ll eventually get there.

Don’t be surprised though, to discover Rome in a complete state of chaos when you arrive. It may not live up to your expectations. And even worse, the journey will weigh upon you more than credited. You may find after all is said and done, you’re half the man you used to be.

But if that’s what your’e looking for, the satisfaction of knowing you exhibited disciplined authority over nature, then please, by all means, go for it. Another less known option is available though… Just kick back, and let the river do the rowing for you. Nature has a way of taking care of everything automatically. If of course, we don’t fight it along the way.