Ways to stop getting nervous around a crush?

@Hallucination Welcome to fluther. You figure out the answer to that one and you may get a Nobel Prize. I just try to be upfront and admit the nerves. I use to try to bluff my way through it. But it’s easier to be completely honest if you think you can trust the other person. If you think you have doubts about their trust play it cool. Best I’ve figured out.

Tell the other person that you are nervous…they might be able to help.

Nerves is part of the definition of “crush”.

Me: I prattle like a loud idiot to overcompensate or freeze like a bunny in the yard when the dogs go out!

It has always been so and shall always be.

We are incompetent around the people who take our breath away.

I spent my entire 7th, 8th and 9th grade years hiding in stairwells, ducking in classrooms, turning and walking in a completely different direction than I intended to go every time my crush was in the same hallway.
I have no advice except to say that I wish I hadn’t been so shy back then. I missed out on a lot of friendships.
Welcome to Fluther.

This is one of those million dollar questions. If only we knew. When I have someone on a pedestal I tend to talk much too much and afterwards facepalm myself as I recall the idiotic things I said. I’m a lot older than you. I think all you can do is try to remember the person you have a crush on is just a person. They aren’t any better or worse than you. They’re just another person who has just as many insecurities as you do. It probably won’t work – but give it a go! If you do make what you consider to be ‘a fool of yourself’, laugh it off. Being able to laugh at yourself can save many situations. Good luck! And yes, welcome to Fluther!

I asked my father this once and he said imagine him on the toilet! But I wouldn’t recommend that really. I think that is part of the fun of a crush. Take a few deep breaths through your noise, and exhale through the mouth. Focus on what he is saying, and stop thinking about yourself. Think about what he is saying, wearing that sort of thing.

@LornaLove Eww. The toilet? But that gave me an idea. Try picturing what they might be wearing underneath their clothes. I love lingerie and sexy briefs. If that doesn’t distract me I don’t know what would.

Consider the possibility that you may appear to her to be less nervous than you feel. She may even like it, be flattered by it.

I like the advice about admitting to her you’re nervous, but try doing it in an amusing, creative way that keeps you from having to say it out-loud. For instance, you could create a greeting card on your computer that shows a red-faced boy puppy trying to tell a girl puppy he likes her. She might very well find that charming and fall madly in love with you. ;-)

Trust me, we’ve all been in your shoes, and heed what @chyna said about wishing he hadn’t been so shy “back when.” Good luck!!!

If you discipline yourself not to think about them much it’ll be easier. Much of the nervousness comes from all the scenarios you’ve imagined in the past. (At least for me.) And no, daydreaming about the person less does nothing to stop the feelings.

Welcome to Fluther!

Most of us have been in your shoes at some point, so it’s understandable how you feel. What I found helpful is making a connection with the crush. It just needs to be something quick and sincere. What do you know about this person from your own observations?

Once upon a time, I met a guy that made me weak at the knees. I noticed he was a coffee drinker, so the next time we were scheduled to attend the same meeting, I brought in a cup of coffee for him. I quietly placed it in front of him and took my seat. After the meeting, he came over to thank me. That act started the ball rolling on what developed into a friendship.

Please don’t be like a former classmate who came up to me at our 25th high school reunion and admitted that he had a crush on me back then. My response was, “Why didn’t you ask me out? I would have said ‘yes’.”

Think of things ahead of time you can talk to him about so you are prepared. Remember to smile.

Given that the definition of a crush is someone who makes your nerves jangle, there is no way to not be nervous. That is where the pleasure of the phenomenon lies. The only way to find tranquility is to be someplace out of visual range. (But that’s no fun, as I have already said.)

Welcome to Fluther. Try practicing. I still get flustered on occasion, I did today at my mailbox of all things. But the more you get out there and do it the easier it gets.

Anger management or classes dealing emotions and relationships focus on you becoming aware of the physiological responses that happen to your body. They then encourage you to pause to take a few deep breaths and calm down before continuing. I do an emergency meditation, it is super fast and allows me to focus on my goals, most of the time.

Smile and act friendly regardless of your nerves. You can only be who you are. Little by little you’ll find these situations become more comfortable.

Walk around your house naked with the windows open. All inhibitions quickly fade.

The trick is not to think of them as a crush, act like they’re your pal & everything falls into place, pussy footing around with pointless giggling & crass gestures gets nobody anywhere, unless you’re Sarah Palin that is.

I don’t know about this one (at least for me). When last I spoke to my crush, I had butterflies and my mouth went dry.

Understand where this nervousness stems from.
With understanding comes enlightenment about yourself.
Feelings of worthlessness or insecurity are unfounded but we all had felt like this
at times.
One has to learn the ‘why” then everything becomes clear and one becomes more confident.