Do you think it is possible to love somebody better?
I am thinking more along the lines of mental illnesses, like bipolar or depression. More importantly if they suffered an abused or disturbed childhood. Do you think loving them regardless of their behaviour could in fact help them to stabilize? I in the past have used tough love on a certain family member with very bad results. I myself have personal issues and am finding being loved is really helping me. Even when my behaviour is not so good. I know this is truly a converse of today’s thinking. Which is more the ‘Kick them out let them starve’ kind of slant to things.
I am not talking about removing medications or anything like that.
I started to think about this a while ago when I met a woman whose husband had suffered a very bad childhood and he was filled with rages. She let him rage on, she said for around 6 months. Now he is passive and not at all angry with the world. His behaviour has changed totally.
What do you think?
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I doubt it. But love can give you the patience to weather the bad times long enough to figure out how someone’s symptoms manifest and what they need from you during those times. In that way, love can help you do your part to make them better.
^^^ Read the “Dr. Len” article on the bottom left. :-)
@Coloma Thank you this is what I am looking for. From your link I have found some great meditations already! Wow, thank you again.
I am working on it and through it with a friend and from it am growing myself. I’m not sure how much I am helping him or more if he is helping me.
I am not a big fan of self-help books, but one that I like is the Road Less Traveled. One section in particular stays with me. Scott Peck said that in terms of love, the simplest and at the same time most difficult thing that we can do is to carefully pay attention to someone and understand what is being said. I think that this can make a difference. In the case of the woman that you mentioned, what she most likely did was to actively listen and try to understand what her husband was saying and in this one act defused his anger.
It is always a mistake to love someone for what they might become but an unconditional love can work miracles.
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