Is it difficult for you to overlook your friend's negative quirk/habits when they have other wonderful qualities?

Yeah, I have trouble with that sometimes. For instance, I have a couple of friends who are just monstrously filthy—to the point where I fear to go to their place or have them visit. I try to remind myself of their positive qualities, and only spend time with them in public or to my house for a very limited period.
I guess it depends on what these negative habits are—how much do they actually affect you, rather than just grating on you?

If it bothers me enough, I spend less time with them. If it bothers me a lot, I spend no time at all with them. If it persists, eventually I have to admit that they are no longer a part of my life.

Are you talking about me?

I don’t have a lot of friends for a reason. I can only put up with so much. I have my own problems to deal with.

No, actually it is hard to remember my friends have negative quirk/habits because of their wonderful qualities.

At times. It depends on what the negative qualities are.

No, always look at the bigger picture & focus on what’s good about folks, nobody’s perfect.

It depends on the balance of the two at any given time. If the negative outweighs the positive, I give voice to my concerns. If the friend is not able or willing to correct them, I end the friendship.

It also depends on how long you have known this Friend?
IF a long time then one would feel secure in that relationship to “be a true friend’ and inform them of your concerns. ( gently).

Isn’t that what a true friend does?

I often recognize that negative qualities in my friends bother me because I share the faults myself. Bossy people, for example, annoy me and I’, a Miss Bossy myself. I fight it, but it’s part of me. When I recognize that, I just remind myself and let it go. On the other hand, if it’s a strong ideological issue that makes the difference, I let go of the relationship.

Great answers. Thank-you.

I always try to focus on what’s awesome about them.

I have found that I generally overlook faults in favor of a friend or loved ones good traits. That is kind of a definition of love, overlooking someone’s negatives because your love for them overcomes the negatives.

The only time I don’t is when their negatives start to cross my boundaries. I will then speak up, or, if it is something that can’t change, I will end the relationship.

Sure things bother me. But then I step outside myself and look in. And I realize that real friends stick with each other through thick and thin and it would be absolutely ridiculous for me to be so nitpicky and tedious when I am way far from perfect.

Life is about growth, friendship is about growth. What are you learning if you stop the relationship? Ignorance maybe?

I am pretty sure Martin Luther King, Jr. said somethimg similar about ignorance like,
~Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.~

It is difficult yes. So I have tried to keep the meetings short. I have a friend who repeats a story over and over as it is causing her much distress. By the end of our time together I am exhausted. But as a friend she is a gem. She has integrity, she is helpful, she is honest and kind. I have decided to stick by her. But have to limit my exposure to negative talk, as it doesn’t help my own health issues right now.

No, generally if it becomes “difficult” for me to be around them because of their negative qualities, things will sooner or later come to an end between us. Everyone has their downsides, but if it is that big of a deal to me, we probably weren’t meant to be besties.

I definitely have friends with some quirks that drive me nuts, but those same people have awesome qualities about them that makes our friendship interesting…....same as for me, I’m not perfect, I drive my friends crazy with my personality imperfections (like that word huh lol), but my friends sure know me, and it’s the people who know me and I can be myself around, are the ones I call my “friends” :)

This is really hard for me. Usually I can ignore it well at first but when I know the person for longer and their habits are in my face a lot, I break down and can’t stand it anymore. It makes me feel bad.

Not if their “quirks” involve emotional instability, manipulation and passive aggressive behaviors. I have dumped 2 friends in the last 2.5 years because these traits outweighed the positives. Bleh!
I am VERY selective in who I call a “friend” these days.

Is it a permanent negativity? Something they’ve always had? Or something that relates to a situation their facing? The answers to those questions would determine my response. If it was their personality, I would probably end up avoiding them. If they were normally positive but were facing some problem in their life, I hope I would be patient with them.

It depends on the nature of the negative, and how good a friend we’re talking about. Minor habits I don’t like, if exhibited by a good friend, don’t really matter so much to me. If the person isn’t a close friend, it might be enough for me not to take the relationship further.
Big things like dishonesty, might be a deal-breaker – even in a very close friend. It has been enough for me to distance myself, at the very least.

It depends greatly on how long we’ve been friends. My childhood friends (people I’ve known since I was 2 or 3) are like family and I deal with their quirks and habits just like I deal with my siblings’.

I recently stopped spending time with a friend I’ve known for about two years because of her fiance’s…erm…quirks. She’s a really sweet girl and he’s great for her, but he has some bad habits that really annoy me and since there’s no such thing as spending time with her without him being present, I decided to distance myself from both of them. Basically, he has no discretion whatsoever when it comes to flatulence. We could be anywhere, in the presence of anyone, and if he feels the need to let one rip, he’ll just do it and not even apologize for it. A few months back I went apartment-hunting with them and while we were in the leasing office talking to the leasing manager, he just let one out. I was mortified! Another reason I stopped hanging out with them is that he’s a bottomless pit when it comes to food and when we’re eating together, whether it be at home or at a restaurant or wherever, he’ll scarf down his food within seconds and stare at everyone’s plates until they’re done eating and/or offer him some. If no one offers him their food within a certain amount of time, he’ll just reach over and grab food from others’ plates. I’m not big on social conventions, but there are certain behaviors I’m not willing to deal with at all in public settings, with farting and reaching into my plate being two of them.