Business etiquette question - What would you do?

If this is specifically for networking,I’m afraid you may be stuck with the bill – there’s just no graceful way around it.

@syz You’re most likely right. That’s the answer I’d been leaning toward, and I just needed some Jelly input and confirmation.

Even though it’s rather cheeky for Man #1 to invite a guest on my tab, there really isn’t any polite way to handle the matter.

I agree with the tackiness of it but would just go ahead and figure it in as a cost of doing business.
There is always the chance that Man #1 will offer to pay for his guest but even if he did, I think I would decline and cover it anyway.

Let us know how it goes.

On the upside, the meal should be tax deductible.

@Seek_Kolinahr “On the upside, the meal should be tax deductible.”

Just 50% of the total cost.

@SadieMartinPaul If it were me, I would either
A) eat the cost for business purposes, or
B) send Man #1 a confirmation email with date and time of the meeting, and add a line “In regards to your guest, please make note that you or your guest will be responsible for their portion of the lunch bill and tip”, or
C) Cancel the meeting and set for another day for TWO people and inform your guest of the change.

There is not really a tactful way to avoid paying for all of you. Man #1 has, in inviting Man #2, risked losing your respect by asking you to shell out for another meal. That is the price he must pay.

If you really want to build some contacts you don’t have any choice other than to pay for all three meals. Anything else is going to leave a negative impression with both of the people you’re trying to connect with. Next time on the initial call say you’ll book a table for two at wherever you’re going to eat and do it.

I think the expectation is that the check will be split three ways. No one with a bit of sense would think it is acceptable to invite another guest to a luncheon where he expects to be treated.

When the check arrives at the table, figure your portion, plus tax and gratuity, and hand that to your invited guest, with the check, for him to determine whether he picks up the cost for his friend and himself, or just himself, and then hands his friend the rest of the check.

As the host for the meal, you are unfortunately obligated to make up any shortfall in the total settlement amount, but you are not obligated to pay for guests that you haven’t invited! And since your invited guest has introduced the element of extreme awkwardness with the extra guest that he invited, he changed the rules for the meal. There would be no graceful way for you to pay for the two of you and then hand the check to his friend.

It’s times like this that CPA’s and women have a lot in common. Most men I know just throw money down (all of them) and leave a generous tip. Women tend to say, “I got the salad for $8.00 and you got the Pasta for $10. I had wine and you had tea…....
When the check comes if it adds up to $60 just say, “that’s about $20 for each and I’ll pick up the tip. Don’t complicate it with the details.

@Judi I almost always split evenly when I am out with friends unless the other person had a much cheaper meal.

In this case, I would think you should plan on picking up the check for all three meals and give in gracefully if someone offers to pay for their own.

Are you sure the first man even thought you were paying for his meal? Unless the invitation was explicit, that he was to be your guest, he may just have thought it was “let’s have lunch” and not “let me take you to lunch.”

How did you respond to the news that your guest had invited another person?

If there’s no prior understanding, and you find yourself picking up the tab, I think your only choice is to pay the whole thing. You don’t want to convey the impression that you’re so tight for nickels and dimes that this second lunch is going to be a hardship. Consider it the cost of a lesson in communication.

@janbb, but you are not one of the ordinary petty women. :-)

@Jeruba “Are you sure the first man even thought you were paying for his meal?”

Yes. I specifically said that I’d like to treat him to lunch, and in writing (email).

In that case, his adding another guest on his own initiative and without consulting you was a boorish thing to do. I’d say this is a time when you want to call upon your very best manners and supreme graciousness and not call any attention either to his faux pas or to the second guest’s presumption of hospitality.

Watch the other two closely. They know full well that you invited A, and A invited B. The honorable ethical thing to do would be for B to offer to split the check evenly.

If you are forced to pay for both A and B, reconsider whether you want to do business with such people. If A is willing take advantage of your offer on something so small as a lunch, think how will he behave when real business takes place.

Being forced to pay for both might turn out to yield the best business intelligence you’ve ever received.

I would bite the bullet and pay for all three. Maybe the 3rd guy will pipe up while ordering and say “put mine on a separate bill”.

If he thinks you’re paying for the meal, that’s pretty rude. He may of course intend to pay for himself and his friend but be looking forward to sharing lunch with you.

I don’t think you can do much if he does expect you to pay but perhaps the upshot is the two people will bring you more business so maybe see it as an investment rather than allowing it to blight a potentially beneficial business situation.

Please let us know what happens. The suspense is killing us.

And what you each ate!