What the heck was this experience? (NSFW)

Sounds like your bf blacked out

It’s very odd, since apparently he didn’t have anything in his system but a few drinks. Maybe some follow up questions will help:

Does he remember what he was angry with you about? If so, was there any actual reason for him to be upset with you? Does he frequently lose control of his temper (not necessarily with you as the target)? Is there any possibility that you are the one misremembering, since you were so messed up?

Whatever the answers are, I’d be very concerned that either or both of you were drugged without your knowledge that night.

Is there any possibility you are pregnant?

That might explain the vomit or some sort of flu or sickness.

As to the rest I can’t speculate why your bf acted like he did. Maybe he was jealous that you put him off to smoke weed with a roommate that was hitting on you and you did nothing to stop it. Combined with drinking he irrationally wanted to possess you.

Really that doesn’t matter. You felt violated betrayed and scared. He caused those feelings. If he can’t recognize acknowledge or address them then you need to exit the situation.

Another possibility is festering underground issues. This happens when there is an absence of communication about the important stuff. Maybe he is not cool with you flirting with other guys but never wanted to come off as jealous. Maybe he is feeling insecure about other issues and is projecting his anger on you when his inhibitions are lowered and all that stuffing (putting up with stuff without trying to address it or advocating for hisself) Is finally leaking out.

Regardless it is no excuse for you to become a victim. If you don’t get out now and this behavoir continues well you will become a willing victim.

Considering the roomies’s comments and sort of hitting you, I don’t think it’s that far off to consider the possibility that both you and bf were dosed by him (either same substance or different for each of you)

Is it too late to get a blood test/urinalysis done? Some compounds linger in the system. Others don’t but being tested is the only way you stand a chance of finding out for sure.

Sounds to me like the weed was laced. Or, possibly the drink had something in it.

My advice is stop drugging and drinking. Since I doubt you will do that, only drink from a bottle you open and never leave it out of your sight. If there is a possibility the roomate drugged you, well he can drug a coca cola if he put something in your drink. If it is possible your boyfriend did it (I doubt that is the case) then I would guess he learned a lesson and won’t try it again. If it happened at the bar again, never drink anything that has been out of your sight. If I put my drink down and go to the dance floor or the bathroom, I don’t drink from that glass again unless it has been trusted with my husband.

If it was the weed, then it can be the dealer or the roommate, or anyone else who has handled it, unless you actually grow it in your backyard.

Something was definitely off. How long have you been with your bf? If you know him very well and this is totally out of character, then something caused this reaction.

As @JLeslie said, be cautious about accepting drinks or anything else from your roomie.

If there’s any chance that what you saw was a part of your boyfriend’s personality, then see it as a huge warning. I hope this isn’t the case though.

I agree with @Bellatrix and @JLeslie…

My first thought after reading your posting was that the “antacid” was not that at all. I feel
you were definitely drugged. As for your bf, I also wonder how long you have been together
and if you saw another side of him that has been skillfully hidden. I hope it was not that for
your sake. If he has a history of alcoholism or drug use in his family, seeing you passed out and ill may have triggered a long buried memory that upset him. That still does not justify
his action. Honestly, this has a very strange element of “something not quite right” to it.
My fear was that you were going to be pushed into something with both of them, or the roomie was going to do something with both of you, but it went
awry at the last minute. This is alarming.

@Buttonstc had a good idea…testing would definitely be a good way to eliminate possibilities.

Honestly, I would steer clear of the roomie altogether.

Just be careful…stop the drugging and drinking and as @JLeslie said…be careful how you handle drinks and drugs…in case they are unwittingly laced.

My concern is this “anger” issue which came up again with your bf when you saw him again.
Why was he angry? Was he angry at you? If so, why?

If he is angry at you…please watch out for this big “red light flashing.” It may be a warning that he is transferring the blame to you…it makes no sense, but some people do that when
they are not willing to see their own responsibility in a situation.

Just proceed with your eyes wide open. And that means keep your wits about you and
your drinks locked in a cupboard. You need to be clear-headed right now.

If your boyfriend wasn’t on something he didn’t know about, maybe he was angered that his roomies was hitting on you and needed to show possession? But it could also be you both were given something strong.

The way you tell the story, it sounds like the antacid was something else, and your bf was in on that.
You need to find out what was in the antacid. If your bf knew, you need to get out of that relationship. He is not protecting you.

I’m not sure I was clear in my answer that I think it is most likely your bf was drugged too. You seemed to find his anger and unwillingness to stop harrassing you unusual after many years of being together unless I interpreted wrong.

If I were you I would dump that guy pronto. He is not trustworthy. At a time when he should have solicitus and caring he was rough and angry. He would not stop when you said no. He did not respect you.

I would also stop getting so drunk and high. I would not take pills from strange men (who knows if that was an antacid).

You know what worries me the most? The fact that he got angry again when you talked about it afterward. By rights, he should have been ashamed and apologetic. You need to seriously think about his behavior through this whole episode.

Mixing marijuana with weed is a recipe for disaster. The two combine to make you very high and often ill, especially if you have not eaten much. As far as your BF’s behavior, most certainly a boundary violation and lack of respect for your request. If this is the first time he has ever disrespected your wishes I would have a log talk and make it clear that this will never happen again or he will get fondled right out the door for good.

My ex husband once told me he was playing around with me while I was sleeping when we were very young and married a year or so. I was outraged! Pressuring someone to have sex when they say “no” or worse yet taking advantage and molesting a sleeping or passed out person is not acceptable, not ever!
He must understand and take responsibility for the feelings of upset and anger you feel.
If he can do this I would let it go, but not tolerate a 2nd violation of your wishes.

I think boyfriend and roomie pulled a prank on you that went bad, or even perhaps a planned threesome?! It’s not good, call them out on it and find out what happened and why.

Psst, @Coloma I may be a bit behind the times on my lingo, but aren’t marijuana and weed the same thing?

@SuperMouse I was gonna ask the same thing but felt too uncool!

I think maybe she meant to write mixing alcohol with marijuana. Otherwise I am out of touch also.

Yep I am fairly certain that is what she meant having done this once.

Maybe you should get tested for STD’s…

STD’s? Where did that come from? Usually I am the one preaching about STD’s, but I don’t see how it is relevant to the conversation.

Something is very strange.

I’m going to go out on a limb here, and I am going to say that based on past experience, this is one of two things.

1 – You had your drink spiked by the guy who you thought was hitting on you. He was not hitting on you, he was amused at the idea of knowing something you don’t, namely that your drink was spiked. Your boyfriend also has a secret addiction to MDMA that he has not told you about, the addiction is recent, and it explains the drastic mood swings. MDMA has been known to cause mood swings, and has been known to make its way in to drinks.

2 – A combination of your diet that day, and your weed smoking, caused you to feel the way you felt. I smoked weed for close to 12 years, and know for a fact it can make you pass out. Here in Spain we call it “un amarillo” or “una palida”, meaning to go yellow, or pail. Weed, when consumed in big enough amounts and fast enough, can cause you to pass out. Usually, eating candy or something with sugar in will help get you back to normal within a couple of minutes.

Haha…mea culpa, I meant to say mixing marijuana with alcohol. haha
Never mind…:-P

@DarlingRhadamanthus @JLeslie We’ve been together five years, and it took me completely by surprise.

We talked again, and he gave me a sincere apology. During the first talk, he said he had no memory of events. I think he got angry then because he couldn’t admit to himself that he was capable of this sort of behavior.

Thank you for the thoughtful answers. You guys confirmed a lot of my suspicions.

@Meraxes Just remember if it happens again, you are out of there. Sincere apology doesn’t work twice for something like that. You know I have wanted to the think the best of your bf in all my answers here, but on the chance some of the other jellies are right, well, any type of pattern of violence is a deal breaker.