How would you describe your high school experience?

The two main social groups/niches I remember at my high school were the popular, cool kids (i.e., jocks, class leaders) and the “bad” kids (“Hoods”). I belonged to neither group.—You were a jock if you played football; a hood if you smoked cigarettes and drank beer.

We had bullies, most of whom, now that I think about it, were either jocks and hoods.

I honestly don’t recall the names or faces of any of my HS teachers, only ones from junior high and several from college, who all seemed to love their subjects made me love them too.

Overall, I didn’t much like HS. I wasn’t popular. I got picked on a bit. My grades were only average or below except for English, in which I excelled. The only thing I’d go back for is to be a boyfriend to the girl I dated all through junior high, high and part of college.

A lonely isolated hell…. that never ended until I moved on to the next grade and then peace for grade 12. In high school people behaved and the amount of hiding spots were frequent… Most people were stressed about passing diploma exams and they didn’t have time to cause trouble. The amount of bullies was limited to verbal attacks, ever since the zero tolerance to physical violence I stopped punching and wrestling with people. If I could go back I would have dated the 6’5” girl whose name I lost, and dropped out of school and signed in for homeschooling.

Misery. We had the typical cliques of athletes, honor students, burnouts, and artistic kids. I am introverted, socially awkward, and at that point in my life I was beyond shy and insecure. I don’t remember specific bullying incidents, but I remember never feeling like I fit in anywhere, and that no one really liked me. That feeling continued through my second year of college, so I dropped out. There was one teacher I liked and who ‘got’ me, but that was Senior year, so it didn’t make a difference.

As my 30-year reunion approaches, I find myself with more self-confidence, but I still feel very uncomfortable meeting new people or in a group. There is nothing that I could have done differently because my experience was such because of my innate character traits, which were made worse by a poor family environment that included sexual and verbal abuse and emotional neglect. Those factors were beyond my control.

I loved my high school years. I was a member of the group of kids who were very good students, but there were enough of us and we all did other things…sports, newspaper, yearbook, music, drama, music, art…so that there didn’t seem to be a problem.

I was a drum majorette and twirled a baton (very badly) in my white plastic boots and tasseled hat during football season as well as taking advanced French, Latin and calculus.

This was so long ago that there were more social constraints on the student community.

I managed to get along with most groups: the greasers, the jocks, the spirit people, the intelligentsia, the herd. I was mostly in the intelligentsia, because i took almost all college track classes,but I knew some of the greasers from Boy Scouts and from my PE class, so I got along with them.

The only thing I would change about high school is I would have actively dated. As it was I barely dated at all.

@gailcalled

Who were the “bullies” in your school?

@raven860: There were none that I was aware of; it was a small and stable community and we kids had been together for years. I entered the school system in third grade, for example, and knew that we all knew what was going on.

The faculty seemed to pay attention, in general, and was not frightened of intervening or bringing parents in when necessary. It was also before the days of belligerent parents who took no responsibility for their kids’ behavior.

Dwight D. Eisenhower was president. We were in a fairly sophisticated commuting suburb of New York City. A large percentage of the class went on to college. It was another world compared to today.

If I could repeat the experience, I would try to not be so self-conscious. I was not aware that we all felt that way.

Wasted. I got along well with everyone but had few close friends and I was too timid to make the most of those precious years. Scared of what others would say. So many things I didn’t even try because of some perceived potential embarrassment.i wish I could at least look back and say, “we’ll, I gave it a shot.”

We had a small class of 44 students. Bullying was minimal and we all felt we belonged together in the sort of way that miss hot stuff had a doofy cousin she would claim and stand up for when necessary. When tragedy struck, which it unfortunately did more than once, all cliques and social boundaries vanished.

The teachers were mostly great. A lot of personal attention and you could tell they truly invested themselves in us

It was pretty tough, in my opinion. I was an outcast who didn’t fit into any clique. The cliques were definitely evident: jocks, preppy/spoiled, smokers, academically obsessed. I didn’t really see too much bullying honestly, but a lot of people smack talked behind backs. I feel like I always got the newer, unexperienced or young teachers who seemed like they were only temporary or teaching for credits, so a lot of them weren’t that good. I can think of at least four of all of my teachers that had a big impact on me, though, so there were some good ones. My Pre-Calculus teacher was the worst—didn’t know or care about anything and would play on his computer instead of teach the class. Then we would get these book tests that nobody would do well on. It killed my perfect A in math. My US History II teacher, on the other hand, was a really good teacher who not only taught in an interesting way, but also made an impact on me, too. I remember that he would always apply the faults of history (like social norms for example) to our lives so that we can overcome them.
If you had to go back, what would you do different?
Hah. I have been looking back at it a lot lately. It gives me nostalgic chills. There were many parts that I enjoyed, but looking back at it now (I am graduating in a few days), I wish I were more involved or joined a clique so that I had more to do and less to worry about. It would have made me feel more accepted and boost my self esteem. I also had a lot of personal issues to deal with at the time, so keeping my mind off of that would have helped as well. I entered high school with a very different attitude then what I came out with. I changed my views literally half way through high school. It’s good that I changed, but I was such an idiot my first two years, so that’s probably why I didn’t make many friends.
I’m not sure I’ll ever return to my high school. There were so many good memories, but a lot of bad ones, too. I have this harboring thought that I am going to move away and “start a new life”, but sometimes I can’t help but think about and reflect on the past, so that probably won’t happen. I guess it was an overall good experience. It taught me a lot.

In a word…meh

Tail Spin. Literally. Out of junior high, I’d say I was part of the “popular crowd” I wasn’t in ASB or any clubs, but I knew everyone and had no beef with anyone. I joined football and was in the top tier of players. I lost my practice pants and was too poor to afford new ones and I didn’t want to do punishment work outs until I received new pants. So I quit football, fell into depression, and this went on for the rest of my highschool career. I drifted from one crowd to another. I had one really great close friend. After some short stints with the tennis team I joined orchestra. Great morning class to take. Dated some cheerleaders, but I felt the rest of my classmates “getting ahead.” My grades never went up. I was too depressed to ask my buddy if I could print my HW assignments at his house, since my mom was too poor to consistently buy ink for our printer. So I said screw HW. I was a quitter mainly. I felt like I was in observation mode. I never joined anything extracurricular. It’s funny. The kids I never really noticed in junior high slowly started becoming the popular kids in high school. People who I never really knew started talking to me and it was strange because it seemed they knew more about me than I knew about them. Eventually a counselor told me I would have to do summer school in my senior year of high school. I opted not to go and instead dropped out into an alternative school because I felt like a complete failure. This alternative school allowed me to get work done on my own time at my pace. I felt high school started out well, now that I’m older I know what signs to look for when my son eventually reaches that level of school. I’d be supportive of his every move and make sure he at leasts attempts all his HW and has the necessary tools to do so.

My advice is just to apply yourself to anything. And follow your intuition and be open minded. Most importantly, it’s ok to get down on yourself, but make sure you take a step back and realize you can push forward always, and ask teachers for assistance!

I’d call it…weird. Unorthodox. No other way to describe it.

It started out amazing. I made friends with fellow band-geeks, gained the acceptance of some of the older kids (which felt so magical) and generally “found myself.” Lots of new self-confidence.

I got older, went through some incredibly hard shit, and the people around me suddenly didn’t seem so mature and admirable anymore. I got really jaded and spent much of the rest of the time just trying to fly under the radar.

There were times that felt straight out of a teen novel. When I got sick the first time, a lot of my classmates rallied for me. It felt very meaningful, and even though that part of my life was really hard, that feeling, like I was the heroine in a tale of hardship was…it was nice, in a weird way.

I had one boyfriend who I never very much liked. It took me six months to realize he wasn’t going to grow on me like I kept hoping he would. He liked me plenty though, and I felt terrible when I eventually had to end it.

When I got sick the second time it was old news and I didn’t get the same support as before, even though I was worse this time. My best friends stuck by, but many previously concerned acquaintances dropped off the planet. Now it felt like a much more private battle and it stopped feeling like a storybook. This wasn’t a plot with a singular climax then happily ever after. This was my life, it was going to keep being this way. God was that a hard thing to come to terms with. I had a lot of emotions that I didn’t understand. My first day back at school when I started feeling a little better, I had to excuse myself from class and go cry in the bathroom. My head was so muddled up.

Prom was weird, I had tubes in my arm and my dress was hanging off of me because I lost twenty pounds between buying it and wearing it. My parents flushed anticoagulants through my IV in the car outside the venue while my friends arrived by limo. I stayed for two hours before my energy ran out.

I felt like that storybook heroine again when I got valedictorian. I had been very determined (read: stubborn) about school despite my illness. I wasn’t about to let it hold me back. That sounds really strong and idealistic on paper, but in reality it was denial, plain and simple, and it hurt me. I worked harder than I should have and truly abused myself at times with perfectionism.

Overall I’d say I spent too much of high school closed up within myself, I wasn’t very social, which I regret. But even in hindsight I can’t blame myself for being that way. I had battles that my teenage peers couldn’t understand. I’m trying (quite successfully) to make up for lost time now in college.

There’s not enough money in the world to give me incentive to relive it.

Yes, some of the best friends. Yes, and NO at the joy and absolute heartbreak of crushing love.

I never “fit” anywhere. I don’t think anyone really does anymore.

Thing is, as you get older, you realize you were all in the same place personally. It gives you perspective.

You asked specifically about bullies.
One year I was a cheerleader. The next, I was Honors Society and my former friends wanted nothing to do with me. There was no “floating” between groups.
We all had to get on a bus for a field trip and not enough seats so boys were having girls sit on their laps. I was standing and a boy tapped me (football player)... I turned and he said “Oh, never mind, geek”.
I was humiliated.

ps to this story. 4 years later, I worked at a peer suicide prevention hotline and this same boy was on my shift. I thought “how ironic, the person who made me feel most worthless is here with me now.” He didn’t remember, of course, and when I told him, he was sufficiently embarrassed and we became good friends.

What cliches were true?
High school kids are Dramatic with a capital “D”. They can also be rather catty, in my experience. Bullying was occasionally a problem.

Social groups/niches?
I went to a small town school with about 400 kids so I don’t think it was as bad there as it was some other places. But yeah, they definitely existed.

Were there bullies? Who were they? What did they do?
I had a few bullies. I was always tall compared to other girls and had unique interests so some didn’t take kindly to that. Mostly girls with names like “Amber” and “Heather” who didn’t understand me when I used “big words” and thought I was “nerd”. Most of them are washed-up single Moms now while I went on to be successful and attractive so I guess I was vindicated later on when I would run into them when I was home from college… That didn’t mean to sound as bitchy as it did but I guess the truth is cruel and Karma is a bitch.

How were the teachers? Were they helpful or did not care?
I hated most of my teachers and I guess some didn’t care for me either. I struggled academically due to anxiety issues and a difficult home life and fell into a deep depression. A lot of them treated me like I was a loser and a freak which only made me feel worse. I was so happy when graduation came and I could escape that environment once and for all.

In an overall sense, did you enjoy it?
Some moments, yes. But a lot of the time I was pretty unhappy. I had some good friends and many of them I’m still close to so that’s one good thing I took away at least. But overall, it was a difficult time and my self-esteem was really low at the time. I had many run-ins with teachers over dissenting attitudes and most of them wrote me off as “stupid” or “weird” instead of actually trying to listen to me. I was singled out as “troubled” and “at risk” although I never really did anything wrong except for being different. The whole experience could be isolating at times because I didn’t fit into the small town ideal of what a “good kid” was. Like I said, I was glad to get out of there

If you had to go back, what would you do different?
I wish I could go back in time and tell my teenaged self that everything really would be all right. If someone had told me that someday I would go to college, travel the world, fall in love, and see myself in magazines—I wouldn’t have believed them for a minute.

Some parts were good, other parts sucked. The good: Friends, boyfriends and my grades. The bad: I got sick and nearly died. I spent 3 months at home, leaving only for doctor’s appointments (teachers came to my house so I could continue my schoolwork). When I returned to my very large, very loud high school, I was a nervous wreck. I didn’t know what to call it at the time, but I later figured out it was anxiety and panic attacks. The ugly: The panic attacks caused me to flee the building with alarming regularly. Despite straight A grades, I was failing due to illegal absences. Despite many attempts to make up for lost time (summer school, night school), I was never going to make up all the credits I needed. I ended up dropping out in my senior year.

What cliches were true?
High school is not very much like real life. Once you’re out, a lot of high school things seem pretty silly.

Social groups/niches?
We had jocks & cheerleaders, freaks (mainly pot-smokers), geeks. I got along with most everyone, but my circle of friends and I belonged to no particular group. As smart kids, we probably leaned toward the geeky side.

Were there bullies? Who were they? What did they do?
Naturally. Mostly the male jocks. They harassed girls in the hallways constantly, and most went out of their way to avoid them. I went out with (and then broke up with) one of them, and he bullied me for a while afterward. We made our peace.

How were the teachers? Were they helpful or did not care?
Some were good, some were awful, most were just okay. All of my favorite teachers, the ones who had a real impact on me, were from middle school.

In an overall sense, did you enjoy it?
I was bored through most of high school, and by the time I dropped out, I pretty much loathed it. I did enjoy that time of my life, though (when I wasn’t sick). I had a fantastic social life, great friends, worked and made my own money, and was finally free of my childhood abuser. School was like the fly in my ointment.

If you had to go back, what would you do different?
If I could control such a thing, I’d not get sick. Realistically? I shouldn’t have held on for so long…I should have dropped out a year earlier, gotten my GED and gone on to college.

I went to a public high school in the richest county in my state. Socioeconomic class differences were quite apparent; there were several tracks of courses, from an elite magnet program and AP, to Advanced, to Regular, and there were also technical programs like Construction, Restaurant, Nursing, etc. By the time I graduated from my magnet program, all of the poorer kids had dropped out. The program required an amount of parental support that many households were not prepared or equipped to offer.

It had a reputation as a pretty rough school, even though it was in the suburbs. There were gangs, metal detectors at the door, a heavy cop presence, and sometimes kids got caught with drugs or weapons. I don’t remember much of the every day experience of high school; I was extremely depressed starting from 9th grade onward. I was bullied for being gender non conforming and being in a gay relationship. I remember what happened outside of high school much better.

I was an excellent student from 10th grade onwards, and my classes were very challenging (the Psychology, Biology, History, Philosophy, and Literature classes I took made their entry-level equivalents appear an utter joke in college). We had unconstitutional faith-based ‘sex education’ in Health class, that did not acknowledge the existence of straight people or the possibility of sex before marriage! I was lucky enough to have some fantastic teachers, because of the magnet program I was in. They taught me what I now realize many beginning college students were not taught to do—coming up with a thesis statement, analyzing evidence, defending an argument, thinking about how knowledge is constructed and how people ‘know’ things.

I moved between several cliques in high school, from the freaks/goths/skaters/punks to the drama and art kids to the obsessively hardworking Asian-Americans who were destined for Cornell. We definitely had the popular kids too—very reminiscent of Britney and Kevin from Daria.

@Supacase, you took the words out of my mouth – “wasted.” I was very shy and had self image issues which prevented me from living up to my full potential and participating in the activities that I was interested in. My parents did not understand the importance of doing well in high school (they only required something better than a D) and so neither did I.

I was not popular, but I was also not unpopular. I had a very average experience and other than not personally excelling, I do not really have bad feelings about high school. I do wish I would have been kinder though. I was too self-centered and worried about my own social status to think about what others were going through.

I didn’t enjoy it and would not care to repeat it, although there were some outstanding parts. College was much better, if in some ways weirder.

VERY SHORT SENTENCE, it SUCKED big time, I hated school with a passion.