Is there a word for mourning the loss of perceived potential?

If there is a word for it in some language, it would most likely be German. I don’t know of one in English but will think about it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saudade

Maybe not exactly but the closest thing I can think of. But it has no direct translation in English.

Reluctant acceptance?

Mmmmm, dukha? Dissatisfaction with reality not being the way you’ve imagined it should be.

regret, lament

Disappointment? though a child contains more possibilities than a lawyer or a doctor.

I was thinking disappointment as well. Everyone faces disappointment at some time, but we all handle it differently. Some people have a much harder time moving past the disappointing issue than others.

Dispirited, disheartened

I don’t know of a word, but there should be one. I think we mourn our picture or expectation of the future in many situations, and it is most certainly like a death. The grieving has all the same steps as if someone dies. Sadness, anger, bargaining, acceptance. We can go through it when we break up with an SO, when we are laid off from a job, and as you mention, when our child does not have the abilities we had hoped, or when a woman miscarries.

A new word would define better whether it was actually a death, actually a loss of life, or the death of a dream or expectation. I think we should come up with a word and you can propose it to the urban dictionary.

Maybe there is a word in another language we can borrow. @janbb might be right, maybe German has one. Germans has some great words for feelings.

It is a grieving process, and I hate having to be the bearer of bad news. Thankfully, that happens less often than it did when I worked in a children’s hospital.

I don’t know that there needs to be a different term, but rather a broadening of our concept of grief beyond the experience that follows death of a loved one. We grieve when a relationship ends. I had to grieve the normal family and childhood I could never have as part of my healing from childhood sexual abuse. It is all grieving.

I’d see that as regression, never dwell on a negative, look forward & move on.

I grieved when I realized at 45 that I’d never be able to do certain things because of the way my body is wired. I got scolded a bit, but I just told people to give me space and let me do what I had to do. If they persisted, I ignored them.

All parents have hopes and dreams for their children, and developmental disability is but one way they can be disappointed.
– Suppose your only child becomes a drug addict or alcoholic.
– Suppose all four of your children do.
– Suppose your child gets involved in petty crime and ends up a lifelong recidivist.
– Suppose your child grows up to be the fanatic bomber or the brutal kidnapper.
– Suppose your child just has no ambition, drops out of school, and leads a pointless life of video games and snack foods.
Parents have to come to terms with these things in some way, with or without help. To some, I think a disability would be a kind alternative.

I don’t know any word for mourning the loss of perceived potential, but I know the feeling. In fact the child is not responsible for the parent’s hopes, desires, and expectations. The parent has to separate what belongs to him or her from the life that belongs to the child.

I remember an essay written about it: Welcome to Holland

The etymology of “disppointment” indicates that it derived from this sentiment. It originally applied to someone who was appointed to an office, but then was denied the post. It also referred to a failure to keep an appointment.

And disillusioned means to have your illusions removed. Now that’s not a negative at all!

If you’ve been disillusioned, you see things clearly now.