Do you prefer your doctor to be the same race as you? Older than you? The same sex as you?

None of these things make any difference (I can say from experience). If their qualifications were the same, and I were judging them by photos (which would never happen!), I suppose I would look for something like a kind face.

I prefer men in their 50’s or older; any race. Their bedside manner matters more than any of this, but older male doctors are generally what I seek out.

That said, my dermatologist is a woman in her late 40’s and I really like her.

I prefer elderly, half blind, kindly doctors but now they are mostly younger than I am !

I prefer female doctors and dentists. I am not particular about age, but I don’t want just out of school.

I like younger doctors for some reasons and older doctors for others, but basically, any doctor of any gender, race, creed, religion, color or age who knows his or her stuff is fine with me.

The only thing that I care about is being able to understand my doctors when they speak. If they have a strong accent, I go elsewhere. My oldest son’s pediatrician had a strong foreign accent and I couldn’t understand a word he said. It made it very difficult to get the proper care that my son needed.

I want my OB/GYN to be a woman. I feel more comfortable in the stirrups that way.

I prefer a physician (at this point in my life… mid 30s) to be older than me… but not near retirement. I want to stay with my PCP for the next couple of decades.

Race doesn’t matter to me. I prefer being able to understand my doctor when they speak… which is why I have a slight preference against one of the hispanic pediatricians in my son’s practice. But his fabulous bedside manner makes me smile when we get assigned to him anyway.

No difference; I’ve had male and female, African-american and oriental, also white doctor that was 10 days younger than me. I had a doctor that was fifty years older.

My current doctor is my favorite so far. He is politically active and in my same party, he races exotic cars, is very ocd about being clean (like me) and is about 40 years old, and doesn’t believe much in shots or pills. He is really cool and I’ve studied all his certificates, he lets me ask any questions and never rushes me through that, which is rare based on my past experiences.

If I had to pick from a picture, I’d look for neat and clean and 30–50 year old males.

I have no preference, so long as they’re approachable & professional then it’s all good.
However, if ever I needed my wedding tackle examined i’m not clear on which sex i’d prefer, don’t want no man touching my dick & a woman doc, well…things might stand out.

@ucme Hahaha, wedding tackle? That’s a new one, you are a continual surprise..lol

No lie:

I had to have my gallbladder removed in the middle of December. I called three or four different doctors, all of whom had offices that told me the doctors were “unavailable” until after the holidays.

So I took a printout of all the general surgeons in my area who took my insurance, and looked for the one with the last name “Patel”. Figured he probably didn’t care much about Christmas vacation.

Racial profiling? yes. Did it work? YES. The guy had that bum organ out by the end of the week.

Race doesn’t matter, but I do prefer to have a doctor who speaks English as his/her first language. I’ve had a couple of doctors who spoke English, but it was clearly was not their first language, and I felt like there was a definite communication gap. I felt like I was not being understood.

I’m very detail oriented and need to ask a lot of questions, so I also need a doctor that is happily willing to answer my questions to my satisfaction (some doctors don’t want you asking a lot of questions, and they won’t give you good reasons for why they are prescribing this or that). I need to know why I need a particular medication or treatment, not just that the doctor says so.

Age isn’t too important to me as long as they are competent and physically capable of doing their work. Male or female doesn’t make a difference.

I also need to have a doctor who has a good bedside manner. I don’t want to be made to feel as if I am incompetent, or as if I am taking up too much of a person’s time. I want to feel respected and even liked. I don’t want a doctor who is indifferent, and I certainly don’t want one that is arrogant. A doctor patient relationship needs to work like an excellent team.

@KNOWITALL I find it interesting that you know a doctor’s political affiliation. I don’t know that about any of my doctors. The only thing close to that is I used to ask my new OBGYN’s if they are comfortable with terminating a pregnancy if there is a problem with a pregnancy. I was nervous living in the bible belt, plus all hospitals were religiously based in my area, that if I were pregnant I would not be the priority if I had a bad pregnancy. As you know I have had 5 pregnancies that miscarried or were ectopic.

@KNOWITALL Can be used any time, not exclusive to wedding days…thank goodness :)

Hot and naughty female.

@JLeslie My doctor is politically active locally and in the paper quite often, and I had actually picked him based on proximity to my work and my insurance coverage. After that, I started noticing him in the paper, and he seemed thrilled when I told him I’d read his articles and enjoyed them.

I also worked at a Lambo dealership and since he was into exotics and had a certificate on the wall in his office, that was another thing we had in common. As time went on, we kept discovering a lot of mutual interests (KC Chiefs, dislike of pills, etc…) so our visits are nice and make me feel very comfortable. I ‘get’ him, if you will and he gets me, his nurse is hilarious as well, and all the women in his office aren’t ginormous like my previous doc’s office. (Just seems weird to be 300 lbs working in a dr’s office doesn’t it?)

My doctor is of Indian descent, and looks like a graduate of Harvard Medical School, because he is. That man can look in my eyes, put that stethoscope a few places on my torso, then write a prescription and tell me that I will feel much better on Wednesday around 3:30 pm. And he is ALWAYS right.

My dentist looks like Julia Roberts’ much younger and prettier sister. Regarding check-ups and cleanings, my calendar is marked in giant red letters, so I never forget an appointment…
.

@KNOWITALL Interesting point. I would not want a physician who is morbidly obese.

Overweight is fine

@Cupcake I felt bad saying that, sounds judgemental, but they are in the health care field, so being unhealthy seems odd. I notice it at the local hospitals as well.

I am a white woman. My first son was delivered by an African American male, my second a white female, and my third a white male. Today I saw a middle eastern orthopedist. My current doctor is an African American woman. All by way of saying that as long as the doctor is skilled, race color, gender, etc. do not matter.

@KNOWITALL As I read your answer I realized that one doctor of mine I know his political stance, but only because he was a friend first, so I know him outside of the exam room so to speak.

I don’t think I would be too keen on seeing a doctor who was very politically active. Not in a public way.

I don’t care about their race or age. I prefer to have a female doctor just because I’m more comfortable.

@KNOWITALL I don’t think I’d be bothered by the other people working in the office… just referring to my physician.

@JLeslie See, I think people who are political are more well-rounded, less selfish people, because they take time to think about things outside the bubble of work, home, etc… personal preference I guess.

Nothing that you could see in a photo would affect my choice but I insist on a doctor who speaks and understands English fluently. Not all of them do, unfortunately.

I don’t want to know my doctor socially.

As a member of a small religious community, I know several people who go to an OB who is also a member… but that sounds like a terrible idea to me. Especially for a doctor who asks you about your sex life.

It’s getting harder and harder to find one older than me so I don’t even try. The other stuff doesn’t matter either. There was a slight level of discomfort with a female doctor but nothing that has stopped me from going to her.

Interesting how many people talk about them being easy to understand. I have never had a doctor with an accent so thick, or Poor command of the English language that I felt it affected communication. It makes sense that this would be a criteria though.

@KNOWITALL I am not saying they should not be interested in politics, I only mean if they are in the public eye about it, that might bother me.

All of this reminds me of an episode of The Nanny, in which Fran goes to the hospital with a terrible rash, and this young doctor named Cresitelli (played by Scott Baio) walks in and Fran shouts something like she needs a Lieberman or a Shwartz. Here’s the Clip

I prefer make doctors, older than me but not near retirement older. I prefer English doctors.

I totally agree with the obesity point. I did have a doctor for a while who was obese and I honestly had a hard time taking her advice about nutrition very seriously. I’m with you @KNOWITALL – I worry that might come across as judgmental but it is the truth.

I do have two other stipulations for a doctor. First, I am not interested in a super old doctor because I tend to think that younger doctors are more up to date on current treatments, for instance when my baby had recurrent ear infections my pediatrician who was older suggested prophylactic antibiotics, I ran screaming to a younger ENT who proposed an entirely different treatment.

Second, I always judge doctors on the way the treat their nurses. If a doctor has a revolving door of nurses I usually go somewhere else. I just feel that if he/she can’t treat their staff with with enough respect to keep them around, there is something deeper going on and I find another practice.

@Aster is half blind a joke or is 20/20 vision a deal breaker?

Wow, it would never occur to me to choose a doctor based on race O_o The great majority of doctors I have seen (and I have seen so many in my short life already) have been white, however.

At this point, I need to pick them based on how respectful they are of trans people, and how willing they are to treat me as a complex person and not a stupid reductivist diagnosis in the DSM. My PCP and diabetes doctor is a middle aged white woman and she is wonderful; I have never felt rushed in her office and I often have pretty complicated problems. My endo for trans care is a youngish white man, and he is superb. My dentist is a pretty young white woman, and she is excellent at treating people with dentistry/needle anxiety. My eye doctor is a sexy young German man, haha. It doesn’t matter if these two latter doctors know that I’m trans or not, however.

I’m very lucky to live in an area with such wonderful doctors.

@bookish1 When I asked about race, I was thinking along lines of same race, not a particular race being more competent or anything like that. I could see people who aren’t accustomed being around other races to maybe find it odd to go to a doctor of a different race. I don’t think it is necessarily racist, it might just seem odd. I don’t know. I am originally from a very diverse area so I don’t think about it much.

I don’t care one bit about race. I definitely want a doctor who is older than me (!), otherwise they would not be educated enough and that would worry me a little, eh, and I prefer a female doctor.

My present doctor is male, caucasian, I estimate about 5 to 7 years younger than me, in good physical shape and so understands that when he suggests a treatment it needs to be something practical that I can live with. (“Doc, I need a shot of Cortisone in this knee so I can hit the slopes next week”. “Ok, just don’t come back whining when you bust something up”. “I won’t Doc, I promise.”). Doesn’t hurt that he is a snowboarder too.

@JLeslie: Oh, please be assured, I was not recoiling in horror thinking that your question was ‘racist’ or something. It just wasn’t a criterion that would have ever occurred to me in selecting a doctor. I can definitely understand wanting someone with shared cultural references and values, which often go along with race.

@bookish1 I didn’t feel on the defensive, don’t worry. I just thought I would further explain my thought process.

I didn’t pick my doctor I was just assigned one by the NHS. He is a white male and elderly which is fine but I would just take what I get and be happy with it. If I felt he was incompetent in any way I might try to change but that is extremely unlikely. If he is in doubt he will refer me to a specialist anyway.

I don’t get to pick my doctor either, and I don’t always get the same doctor.

@SuperMouse I was just joking. More or less.

I prefer my doctor to be smarter than me.

@Rarebear Is that possible? :)

I like my doctor to be American. Certain nuances in communication can be lost when talking with someone from another country, or someone that learned English as a second language.

Other than that I have no preference for things they can’t control.

@KNOWITALL It’s hard, I agree. :-)

I like sob’s side of bed docs. They have more empathy and tend to be more conscentious.

I might not confide in a doc a symptom if it is pain related due to the relativeness of pain. Or I may forget a symptom but a doctor who looks beyond a check list and at person might notice something that then triggers to me remember.

Old and new docs are set in their ways and have a formula they follow strictly. Those who have been practicing for five to ten years seem to still be forming and perfecting treatment plans they will take suggestions and work with your needs as an individual.

It has to be a woman for me. I will not see a male doctor (unless it’s for something simple like an eye exam). I don’t really care about age or race. Her knowledge, character, patience and compassion matter.

I don’t care about the doctor’s age relative to my own, rather I care about their own chronological age. I don’t want someone straight out of med school, because experience counts for a lot. I also don’t want someone who seems to be aging and may not be as up on the latest advancements.

As for their gender or ethnicity – it makes no difference to me, as long as I am able to understand what they say to me. A Dr. whose last name is similar to “Patel” joined our practice a few years ago, and patients would try to find a nice way to ask whether he had an accent. He grew up in upstate New York, I’d tell them. They were also nervous because he’s got a baby face, but now he’s showing a little grey, so were asked less often about his age.

Oh, and a photo does tell about a person… there are telltale signs if the person is full of themselves (many doctors are), which is a turn-off for me.

@bookish1: I went for my annual Gyn yesterday, and one of there forms asked for Gender: _Male _Female. I thought this was funny, so I mentioned it to the Dr. and in that moment it occurred to me, and I pondered aloud, “I suppose someone who is trans and taking hormones to have breasts might develop problems…” and the response was, “I don’t want to see them.” I was taken aback, and he said that they probably have endocrinologists monitoring them, so they’d go there. But something about the tone really threw me off. He’s a great surgeon and generally nice guy, but I guess not everyone has evolved… I just expected more from a medical professional.

@hearkat Maybe it was a standard medical form, not GYN. Or, maybe sometimes SO’s are patients so they can be prescribed to if there is an infection or something like that. Although, most doctors just prescibe a double dose and let the partners split it.

I prefer younger doctors of the opposite sex. I am more open with women than men.

I prefer my doctor to be well educated, friendly, and most important willing to answer any questions I have.(I’m very curious and love to learn, I hate when doctors try and breeze through things like here take this leave. No, I want to know what is wrong and why drug x will cure it and how I can prevent it in the future.) Aside from these things above I can really care less if my doctor is male/female, young/old , white/purple/blue/yellow/black or any other trait about them.

I totally understand why women would be particular about who their OB/GYN is though

I don’t really care, as long as they’re not Indian. I know that sounds incredibly harsh, but I’ve seen multiple Indian doctors for various things, and they were all pompous, patronizing assholes. One of them even told me I couldn’t possibly know that my daughter had a dairy allergy if I hadn’t had her formally diagnosed. Dude, really? I don’t need a fucking medical degree to tell me what I’ve seen with my own two eyes…

I also began seeing a psychiatrist, last year, who is Indian, and she had the exact same demeanor. Arrogant, cold, detatched, and just annoying. I ditched her pretty quickly.

@WillWorkForChocolate That’s strange. Here, the Indian doctors I’ve seen tend to be nicer to deal with than white ones. I think the least likely to be personable, here, are often Asian doctors (just in my experience).

@WillWorkForChocolate I like honest, I don’t care how it sounds.

@WillWorkForChocolate If This Guy was my gynocologist, I’d be more than just a little turned on.

India is in Asia, therefore Indian doctors are Asian doctors. One of the physicians of Indian descent in our practice had to explain this to our clerical staff.

I’ve worked in healthcare for over 20 years, including in a large inner city hospital with clinical providers from all parts of the world. I haven’t found that one ethnic background is more arrogant than another, just that many physicians and surgeons are arrogant, regardless of their skin tone or accent.

@hearkat I used to use Asian to include Indian also, but in America it seems Asian has evolved to only refer to east Asians, basically replacing oriental.

@hearkat Russia is in Asia too but we don’t refer to them as Asians…

Part of Russia.

@uberbatman: Excellent point. Being born into the Cold War Era, I mentally conceptualize “Russia” as the USSR, which was in Asia and Europe. Since the break up, I honestly have no clue which countries fall on which continent; and geography never being a strong subject for me, I don’t think I ever knew where Europe ends and Asia begins north of Turkey. Interestingly, the term “Caucasian” has it’s root in the Caucasus region of Russia.

On our census I think it says Asian Indian interestingly. I assume to not be confused with Native American. Also, the American census did have a lot of choices for east Asians to mark regarding race, but not Middle Eastern, which is Asia also. I think Middle Easterners would just check white. That’s what I checked for my husband. Mexican and white. But, his father’s family is middle eastern and so is his surname. But, his mom is French and Spanish, so that would be white also. What a mess.

Oh, and forget that America teaches 7 continents, but much of the world teaches 6, and then of course some countries use the 5 continent model. But, now we are way off topic.

Ok, then East Asians…whichever. I was using the common terminology used in North America. It would get confusing if I tried to name all the cultures/races.

I don’t think it would bother me. My regular doctor is white, Australian and female and like @KNOWITALL seems to have very similar political attitudes to me. We chat while I have my check up. My new dentist is now Chinese and I saw him for the first time this week and he was great. I didn’t feel concerned about his race at all. My eye specialist is Chinese and he’s fabulous. I’ve seen Indian doctors and Chinese doctors before, both male and female, didn’t bother me.

However, I do remember many years ago going in for a pap smear and it was a male, Indian doctor I hadn’t seen before. I felt very uncomfortable. I don’t know what it was that made me feel edgy. It could have been his personality but it concerned me that perhaps it was his race, I reflected on that. I don’t think it was his race but I still remember feeling a bit awkward. He didn’t do anything wrong and he wasn’t rude or ignorant but something made me feel uncomfortable.

I have had a doctor make me feel very bad and I’m sure it was his cultural background. He was a surgeon and he was of Greek background and the man was horrible. He was awful and I’m really sure it was his background. I was having some menstrual problems and he was recommending I have a procedure that would render me infertile. He didn’t ask me how I felt about that, he just said “you’ve got three children, that’s enough’. It might well be enough but I don’t think it was his place to tell me how many children I could have.

I don’t really care about their age or race or any of that, I basically look for doctors that are confident in that they know what they are doing.

When I go to the doctor, I will normally challenge their diagnosis or question them somehow, when I do, the answer I am looking for is “shut up, you don’t even know what you are talking about, facts A, B, C. Yes I actually studied this shit for 10 years”

If my amateur questioning can get the doctor going “hmmm” then I get the out of there and find someone else.

@hearkat: That is horrendous but not surprising. Transmisogyny is the easiest thing to get away with. Our culture explicitly encourages it.

And the sad thing is, your doctor would probably see me but not a trans woman. Disgusting.

This is making my blood boil. I’ve had lots of bad experience with doctors, including those who wanted me to undress with them in the room, with no apparent pretext at all. Trans people are very vulnerable. No one expects them to exist, and most people don’t want them to, so there are almost no protections for them.

@bookish1 were the offending doctors mostly Caucasian? Judging by the news stories and personal experience, I think that white American doctors tend to be more inclined to this type of behavior. I knew a pediatrician who went to jail and lost his practice because he insisted on fondling the breasts of new moms to be sure their milk was coming in. (WTF?!) He was an orthodox Jewish man.

@SuperMouse An Orthodox Jewish doctor? Oy, I hate to hear that. He was just a pervert plain and simple. It’s no different than a pedophile Priest. Not that I am comparing a grown woman to a child. I wonder what the statistics actually are? Probably there are many many more white doctors in America up until maybe 20 years ago. I am surprised Orthodox male doctors even examine women. I don’t know how that works in the Orthodox Jewish community.

@JLeslie since he was a pediatrician, examining women should not have been part of his practice, that was his own little addition. I am thinking that when he starting fondling these women he wasn’t thinking much of his religious beliefs.

@SuperMouse Somehow I missed he is a pediatrician. Still doesn’t really change my answer. Of course he didn’t care about his religion, his religion is irrelevant, which is what I think about the Priests also.

I wouldn’t want my doctor to be older than I am (70).

My only requirement is small fingers. I am not looking forward to prostate exams.

I don’t care about race or sex. Normally, I would say I feel more comfortable if they are older than me but my last doctors appointment was with a doctor that was more or less the same age as me and she was the most understanding and helpful doctor I have seen in a long time!

I would normally not be entirely happy at seeng a young doctor fresh out of med school, but one of the GPs at my local practise is just that. Now at my local practise you don;t really have one particular doctor (unless you’re really fussy and don;t mind waiting three weeks for an appointment), you just phone up and ask for “earliest available”. A couple of months ago I did just that, because I got turned down yet again for funding from the NHS for the trans surgery (mastectomy and chest reconstruction) that I need as part of my transition. I was aware that the process for funding changed on April 1 so I made an appointment shortly after that, to find out what the new process was. This young doctor admitted that he didn’t know, but he would find out.

A week later I got an email from him; not only had he found out what the new process was, he’d actually already followed it through and secured funding, for the surgeon I wanted. He must have worked his ass off for me, that week.

And I had the surgery yesterday. It all went well and I feel pretty good (a little sore and tired, and also slightly weird but in a good way), and it’s all thanks to that young doctor.

@downtide – Sending best wishes for speedy healing!

Congratulations, @downtide! I’m so, so happy for you!!

@downtide Wow! You had your surgery yesterday and you’re already feeling well enough to talk to us on Fluther? I’m so glad to hear that! I hope they’re giving you some good pain medication. Was your partner with you the whole time?

I don’t mean to be nosy, but if you’re feeling up to it, it would be a good education for all of us, if you could write up a little essay about how you transitioned from both the medical and emotional standpoint. If you don’t want to, that’s OK too.

At least keep us in the loop about how you are doing. I hope you feel better soon and that you can get back to your regular activities (and some new activities). Here’s to you, our own Superhero Mod

I slept most of yesterday but by 5am this morning I was wide awake, craving breakfast and fighting boredom with the help of the hospital’s free internet. :) There’s a little pain and swelling but less than I expected. My surgeon came to check on me this morning (yes, she works weekends here) and was very pleased with it, and said that as long as I felt okay, I could go home, which I did, this afternoon. So my partner turned up expecting just to visit, and ended up taking me home. I’m sore and have limited movement in my arms (can’t stretch, lift or twist my upper body or put any weight through my arms) so some things are difficult and I’ll be needing plenty of help over the next couple of weeks, but other than that, i feel fine.

I have been thinking of writing my transition story so far, though perhaps Fluther isn’t really a suitable place to post it.

I can’t believe you’re home already. I would have figured they’d keep you in the hospital for at least a week. Make sure your partner gives you all the TLC that you need.

I’m sure there are plenty of folks on Fluther who would appreciate and learn from hearing your story, but it’s completely up to you on when and where you want to put out that info.

Be well my friend : )

The length of time you stay in after this surgery mostly depends on the drains – I had one in each side to drain off excess fluid that builds up and causes the swelling. When the drainage stops, thats when you’re safe to go home. Mine drained hardly anything at all (because I’m lucky enough to have been small in that department), and the pain is low enough that I’m mobile, so there was no need for me to stay in any longer. Some people who are less lucky, stay 3 nights.

@downtide while you are convalescing, I hope someone brings you some cola cubes, sherbert saucers, and bonfire toffee (Very hard, dark brittle toffee made with black treacle). : )

Oh my goodness, what a fabulous outcome @downtide. I’m happy for you. I hope your recovery is smooth and you’re up and around soon. Life is funny sometimes. The person we least expect to help us turns out to be just the person we needed.

@downtide That’s incredible! :) Amazing we are so wowed by a doctor who does his job. It seems he went above and beyond, but really, something this significant in someone’s life, all doctors should follow through in my opinion. I feel that often times doctors leave it up to us to navigate the medical system, and we have no idea where to start or how to influence the decision makers.

I prefer doctors who are competent.

Congratulations, @downtide, I’m so happy for you and glad to hear that your surgery went so well.

Nope. Just good at their job, a good listener, leave judgement out of the room, an excellent bedside manner, and is able to work towards the best possible solution for the problem that is agreeable to us both.
Sometimes they act as if the patient doesn’t know what works or doesn’t work for their body.
My daughter had eczema for years and every time she saw a different doctor they would start her off with the same lame treatments that we knew would never work for her. It would always take a second visit before they would concede and try what we knew to work.
Finally she found a doctor who recommended steroid shots instead of pills and it lasted her for months. Months later she had it done again and hasn’t had a bad bout in 2 years. Better than years of creams and steroid pills and antibotics.
It took her being miserable for months before we met with this doctor who worked at a clinic for people without insurance.
When we had insurance all they did was pad the bill and never really fixed her. She was miserable on and off for 10 years.