How do I calm my nerves over the next 48 hours.

I’d suggest some good quality vitamins for stress specially designed for men (liquid absorbs best, then capsules absorb next best). Take melatonin for sleep, and work out a lot (so you are physically tired) at the end of the day. And stay busy, interacting with people.

Hit the gym. Run for 875 calories. Then buy 375 ml of Canadian whiskey. Drink it till it is gone. Fluther and search the web for amusing videos.

When you wake up, take a multivitamin. Drink some water, repeat until the meeting.

Now I’m all a-twitter! I’m so excited for you and hope that everything works out OK. I would suggest not being alone and probably doing something physical, like going for a walk with friends or going dancing or to the gym.

You could also go on Pinterest and find a bunch of cool stuff that you want to show your lady when she gets there, such as restaurants you want to take her to, recipes you want to cook together, furniture and clothes you want to buy for her, trips you’d like to go on with her, etc.

Deep breathing exercises work wonders for me. I also like talking to close friends. I will be traveling Monday too, but I’m looking forward to reading your good news.

Google is fucking creepy, I just opened a new tab, went to youtube, and have been shown advertising for “relieve stress”.

Creepy shit, that took them less than 15 minutes.

I think I would be a basket case, myself. I can only suggest that you re-open a couple of old threads on atheism or evolution… or start some new ones. Should keep at least part of your brain occupied. ;)

Is she going to leave a note or something for her parents so they won’t be worried sick? I hope so. Multiply how you are feeling by infinity and that is what her poor parents will be feeling when they realize she’s missing.

When I’m stressed, I clean. Is everything clean and ready for her arrival? Is your laundry all done? Have you prepared a nice meal? Grocery shopped for the week? Bought her a few personal toiletry items?

@bkcunningham Yes, she will be leaving a note.

While they seem to hate me, I don’t really have any kind of personal issue with them. I would still like to try and get to know them some day, so I have told her to make sure they don’t worry, and to call them as soon as she gets here from my place (while I am out working).

I have to say, that I really hate that it has come to this, but we are unable to find another solution, and neither of us plan to break up just because they have some kind of issue with it, so, I dunno, I justify it to myself by telling myself they have forced this situation.

@poisonedantidote Did I tell you about the time my ex-wife’s father reported to me at a fortune 500 company? Booze, exercise, booze. repeat.

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought Hehe, thanks for the advice, and no, I don’t think I know that story.

No booze. Keep a clear head. You may have to respond if something comes up. I assume she will be in touch with you while en route?

Sending you my best wishes…

@bkcunningham I should add, that her parents know she is safe with me, as she has spent time living with me in the past without me raping her or killing her, they just don’t like me because I’m white.

I know that sounds hard to believe, like if that is the only reason, you would think I must have done something, but all I ever said to them was “Ni Hao” (hello), and was hung up on (skype cam)

@Jeruba Thanks, sadly no, she will be out of contact.

I will be at work, she will be in the air, all I will get is 1 message maybe, if there is time, saying she is out of Taiwan. (we dont use mobiles, out of house, out of touch)

@Jeruba Might have a point. She is my ex wife

Who, me? No, I’m not.

@Jeruba have you been ignoring your own advice? Sipping the booze? hehehe

I’m not his ex-wife.

@Jeruba You are lovely and smart. Would you consider being a future ex-wife? Of mine? I am initially very charming.

@Jeruba I know hehe, there is a misscommunication going on.

I remember you previous questions here regarding the situation. It is a difficult situation, but I understand how love feels. Things will work out for the good for everyone. Love will conquer all. Be good to her and to yourself. Please, take @Jeruba‘s advice and stay straight. Not only do you need a clear head, but she will need to know you are completely sober as she will be when she arrives. It would be very offensive to know that while I was coming to you under these life changing circumstances, you were drinking or partying. You know?

It is going to be okay though, @poisonedantidote. It is very romantic, but being a mother, I worry about her parents too. I know you understand that. She will worry about them too.

@bkcunningham I hope so, I have a feeling it will all be okay, just I have a very active imagination at times.

Hopefully her parents wont freak out that much, even though I suspect they will, at least to some degree.

They will be informed that they are welcome to come and visit any time, expenses paid, so we will see how that works out. ideally my girlfriend will not have to sacrifice her relationship with her parents, even though she has made it clear to me that she intends to do just that if it comes to it. She dislikes her parents to a certain extent, but I know she will change her mind after she has had her independence for a few months and settles in to being free from them, so hopefully it will end up okay.

If they don’t want to speak to me, then they don’t have to, I can live with that, but ideally I still want them to all get along at least.

anyway, i best go get the check list ready, she will be online soon to go over everything one last time. brb

Tell her I hope she has safe travels and many blesses ahead for you both.

So exciting and nerve wracking. You’ve probably cleaned everything. Walk – go for a long walk and wear your iPod or whatever and listen to music that you love. Go to the cinema. Watch a movie marathon. Cook some meals for when she gets here. Things you can put in the freezer so you only need to reheat for a few days – you might be a bit busy :D

@poisonedantidote Good luck guy. She’s really brave to defy her family like this. You can’t control the outcome. Stay sober and stay calm. Just relax and if she get’s there show her how much you love her. I’m thinking huge amounts of rose petals all over the place and lots of candles. Just prepare and stay calm..

I like the movie or television marathon idea. Is there a show you’ve been wanting to watch but haven’t had the chance to watch it yet? Get the first season and have a marathon over the weekend.

Is she leaving her parents a note? How are they going to discover she’s gone?
Can you tell I’m the mom of 20–30 something kids?

Oh, my, how flattering, @Imadethisupwithnoforethought. I don’t actually think I’ve received such an offer before. Sometimes I half wish my husband would ask me that, but on the whole I think I’m pretty much inclined to stick with what I’ve got.

@Judi, he answered that way up there ^^^.

Best of wishes! Can she contact you between flights?

How old is she? What are the laws in Taiwan? Is there any way they could legally stop her if her if they find the note before her plane takes off?

Stay busy, and if that doesn’t work, take a Xanax. Good luck and keep us posted!

@Judi “Can you tell I’m the mom of 20–30 something kids?”

That is a lot of kids.

Yes,there is a note, see my responses to @bkcunningham

UPDATE:

The checklist is done, everything is ready, she has everything she needs from me, now she will be packing for an hour or so, then we say our… hmm, goodbyes? that don’t make sense. Anyway, I will be twiddling my thumbs for a while.

@Judi Sorry, I forgot to respond to your second question.

She is 23, almost 24 now, and the laws are totally in her favor, calling the police is something we talked about if they try to stop her leaving.

She basically has 100% legal right, the way they control her is basically by being her parents, and having that authority, but legally she is free.

All her papers are in check, and she should be allowed to enter the country legally, even if I still don’t quite trust the border people.

Sad that she has to do this. I hope she can reconcile with her parents later. Fingers crossed all goes well and she’s with you soon. I guess this means we won’t be seeing so much of you @poisonedantidote!

@Bellatrix Thanks.

I get the feeling her parents will still talk to her, even if it is just the impulse to control her, making them talk to her to try and remote guide her, fingers crossed indeed.

You know what I mean. Actually I only have one kid left in his 20’s and as bratty as he’s been he’s made it easy to cut the umbilical cord the last few years.
I do have some compassion for her parents. It’s really hard letting you baby grow up.

Does she have siblings, @poisonedantidote?

Oh my gosh! I can’t believe it is happening. Can you have a friend stop by for a few hours? Someone else to worry you with you? Seems like it would be very difficult to keep your kind off of it no matter what you do, but being able to babble about it with a friend or distract yourself here and there listening to their life might help.

Don’t worry about the plane crashing or any of those far fetched things. Push all that mess out of your head.

Why would immigration give her a hard time? Is she coming from a country that generally has a hard time coming into Europe? What type of visa does she have? A tourist visa?

I have mixed feeling about her leaving a note. I very much care about her parents being filled with worry when she is not to be found, but I also worry her note might be found early. Can she send the note by messenger in the evening? Or, text them once she is boarded on the plane? Even of she just says she will be late, and then maybe send them more info or a fax later.

Breathe in slowly and deeply through your nose, then without pause, exhale through your mouth and relax totally. Repeat. It can’t not work.

Best of luck and love to you both.

What time is her flight taking off GMT time? So, I know when to check back here to see if her flight left on time. You will let us know I hope? Will she be able to contact you when she is connecting in Zurich? Or, I guess she can skype you in flight?

@poisonedantidote That is a lot of kids.

You made me laugh out loud with that. Glad you’re hanging onto your sense of humor.

What’s happening on Tuesday of next week? Wednesday? Thursday? By the time those days come, your wait will be over.

Meanwhile, there’ll be folks around here at all or nearly all hours to entertain you and help you pass the time.

Four hours are gone already.

Set an timer for the first time you may hear of her progress, so you can respond to her call. While you wait for the next call, scrub all your pots and pans until they are shiny as new. If you do this to music, it adds another layer between you and your worrying. Drink water or soda with ice in it. During one of your worry time, go buy some flowers for her. At another, go buy some chocolates. Breathe deeply as often as you can. You have a lot of fingers crossed for you, so I hope everything works out perfectly. Thank you for sharing this situation!

Don’t get drunk. You may get an unexpected call from her parents, and you don’t want to give them another reason to dislike you.

Clean, exercise, paint the bedroom, go shopping for a welcome home present for her.

Ok, I’m back.

I fell asleep last night at 5am after talking to her. Last time we spoke, it was early morning her side, her parents had left the house, and she was packing her bags and leaving to the train station to meet a friend.

@bkcunningham Yes she has siblings, a few brothers, they all like me, even if we have not spoke much. From what I know, she will have their support to some extent, even though they probably wont support her in front of their mother.

@JLeslie I will be cleaning now for a while, then off to work, and later a friend will drop by. I am not t worried about plain crashes, but immigration control are a worry, I don’t trust them. Her papers are all in order, and she is legally allowed to enter the country, but I still don’t trust immigration control, they are a pest and not worthy of trust, not after all the immigration control TV shows I have seen about them.

As far as I know, assuming nothing has gone wrong, she is now in the air. I am assuming everything is okay, as I would have had a phone call from her friend by now if there was a problem.

I should be getting a call from her saying she is okay soon, but as I will be at work I will have to come home and listen to it on the answer machine, the next I will know will be in 7 hours approx.

@poisonedantidote Thanks for the update. I didn’t realize a friend there was in on the plan. Don’t worry about immigration if her papers are in order, the chances are she will sail right through with no troubles unless there is special scrutiny for the country she comes from. Is her visa for an extended period? At least 6 moths?

@JLeslie She actually does not need a visa, just an invitation letter from me, there has been an agreement between our countries since 1985, I think technically, she has a schengen visa/permission.

This is part of the reason for me worrying, I would be more comfortable with a regular visa. However, the embassy says we are ok with what we have. So, we will see. She must have landed in Hong Kong by now, and be on her way to Zurich, so I won’t be hearing from her for another 15–17 hours or so.

Im going to work, I’ll drop in again tonight.

I see. I’m feeling optimistic. I think she will do fine. She is bringing very little luggage, it doesn’t look like she is moving there. The only thing she might get questioned on is having a one way ticket. I’m assuming her ticket is one way. Or, did she buy a round trip? Man, why does she have to live so far away? LOL. Sounds like the longest set of flights ever created.

@JLeslie We got a round trip specially, so that is cool. I think it is actually a requirement for her no visa needed travel status.

Yea, I’m not sure on this whole “it’s a small world” thing that people say.

That’s good about her ticket.

I keep checking back to hear if there’s any new news. I’m almost as nervous as you!

Seven hours now since “the next I will know will be in 7 hours approx.”

If she’s jet-lagged on arrival (as who wouldn’t be after a flight like that?), this timely thread is already in progress.

Wow, what a beautiful story. I would like to know how it turns out for you both. Understandably you are worried and anxious. Just think that this girl must love you SO much to do what she is doing. Everything she has done and is doing, is for you. Try to concentrate on making the house nice for her arrival. Thinking what the first thing you will do when you see each other. Think of the rest of your life together.

Ok, I am home. I don’t really have any news.

I have been working away all day at the restaurant, and now I am home. I don’t have any messages on my answer machine, but I do have a missed call from an out of the country number. So that is either good or bad, I’m assuming it is good.

Now I stay awake getting the house ready for the next 5 or 6 hours, then I am going to nap for a couple of hours and then I am off to work again.

I spoke with my boss, I will be having 5pm to 8pm free tomorrow, so I get to go to the airport in person, so that is some stress relief there. It will now take me 1 hour less to find out what has happened.

I am on tenterhooks!

24 hours down, 24 to go. Good that you have plenty to keep you busy.

Unlike us, who are just sitting around watching the sand trickle through the hourglass and trying to type with our fingers crossed.

I don’t care what else is going on when you bring her home, you must post.

You had better post or we will all show up over there to see for ourselves! Doesn’t have to be long, just that she made it and that she’s OK.

@Jeruba If all goes well, I will be seeing her in 16 hours, and after I pick her up, I will be going directly back to work, I will be posting how it went in exactly 23:30 hours from now, when I get home from work tomorrow.

I will probably check in a couple times between now and then.

23 hours… I can’t stand this waiting! Toes crossed that everything goes well for her.

Can’t she skype or email from a computer in the airport or using wifi on the plane to let you know how it is going? I know it’s almost over now, and I have every confidence everything is ok, but still, hearing from her would be great.

@JLeslie Yea, I am assuming she called when I was working, she would have got a Spanish voice for the answer phone and hung up.

Seeing as I get about zero calls a week, it is safe to say it is likely her.

The problem is she is in the air when I am free, I will probably get a call at 3pm tomorrow, before her last part of the flight.

I’m not sure what wifi or phone access there is. Calling can be a bit tricky. E.g. when calling the UK from Spain, I have to remove the first 0 in the number, so 01279 becomes 1279.

We have both tried to call each other in the past and failed. Usually to call, I would call her mobile in Taiwan, but that contract is cancelled now as she has left, the laptop I assume is in the luggage or something.

Makes sense with the international calls being tricky. That’s why I was thinking skype or email. It’s been a while since I flew to a different continent, I am not sure if wifi is offered. It is offered on North American flights here. If you have your own laptop or ipad you have access to the internet for usually $9.99 for the day in flight, something like that.

@JLeslie Well, here in Europe they try to charge you extra for using the toilet, and are considering removing the seats from aircraft to save money and fit more people on.

They are basically playing Jenga with airline safety, taking away more and more, I highly doubt there is wifi on an aircraft anywhere near hear, that is some crazy sci-fi stuff, here you are lucky to get internet in a coffee shop or even hotel.

@poisonedantidote, personally, I think you two have done an amazing job of planning everything, with careful attention to every detail. I’m sure you don’t need us to tell you what you ought to have done differently.

You are an impressive man and what strikes me most about the situation playing out here and your part in it is that despite the problems your girlfriend has with her parents and their attitude towards you, I feel a strong sense of care for their needs coming through your words. That’s a great demonstration of your maturity and humanity. I think your girlfriend is a lucky woman.

@Bellatrix & @Jeruba Thanks. 12 hours and counting, hope the planning all pays off.

Im headed off to bed on the East coast of the USA, and sending best wishes for you both and hoping to hear good news tomorrow!

I don’t know if I will be able to sleep. :-)

Who needs TV when I can follow this post? :) Wishing you both the best of luck and keeping my fingers crossed until she’s safely by your side!! Counting down the hours until we get the good news.

This really needs to be made into a movie. Good luck, my friend, you need to take some time to enjoy your new mate, wait a few days until you get back to us, if you need to. Good luck to you both. This is super-romantic, and slightly bittersweet. She’s almost there!

@Kardamom, I was telling my family about this earlier, and what I said was that this is a story like you see in the movies—but for once it’s real. The movie needs to be made into real life!

@poisonedantidote I wasn’t questioning all your plans, I hope it didn’t come across that way? I’m just anxious for you, and was hoping there might be some way she can get in touch with you. I’m sure if she could easily for a few bucks she would have. As I said, I haven’t flown to Europe in a long time. It’s 2:15 am eastern time in the US right now. Not much longer to go.

Man, the suspense is killing me!

That poor woman. Little does she know that all around the globe, people are waiting on tenterhooks for her plane to land and for the romantic reunion to take place :D

So suspenseful!

@Bellatrix Somehow that makes the story even more romantic. That we are all rooting for them and waiting on pins and needles for the happy reuinion at all hours of the day and night.

Why am I hearing the theme to Mission Impossible in my head?

Ok, it is almost 1pm, I am going to work. She should land at about 5pm, I will be collecting her at 6pm, then back home at midnight after I finish the evening shift.

I’ll come back and post asap, maybe at 7pm if I get time.

On pins-and-needles here. I hope I’ll have a break in my busy day to check on your progress. Love rules!

If I’ve done the time correctly in my head, by my lunchtime she should be with you. Everything is crossed in hopes for a smooth transition.

I think it is after 5 now the OP’s time! He should be at the airport.

This is so exciting and such a wonderful real life story.

According to @poisonedantidote‘s reckoning of her landing at 6:00 PM his time, she should have just landed.

Get out the popcorn and the hankies, folks.

I’m watching this thread with anticipation and sincere hope that this young love lasts a lifetime and her parents learn to love @poisonedantidote as their daughter loves him.

One thing I’m wondering while waiting, @poisonedantidote: how do your parents appear in this picture?

I calculate it’s four hours until newstime.

I hope I’m online when the update comes!

Darn you guys! every time you update I think it’s him!!

@augustlan Get thee to a computer, Madam!

Just posting to tease @Judi :)

@jonsblond , meanie. ~

Augh! It’s gotta be near midnight in Spain! The suspense is killing me!

Oooh! There he is, posting right now! <breathless>

He’s typing!!

ooooh, here it comes! @poisonedantidote what’s up?

Hi all, yes it is indeed past midnight in Spain, it is actually 1:20am, I had to do an hours overtime.

Anyway…

After 379 Days, and some 6500 miles, I can say: Mission accomplished.

I met her at 5pm at the airport, she had been waiting a while, I picked her up, we drove home, I went back to work, and now I’m home.

Anyway, if you don’t mind, I have been awake since this question was first posted, and I have my bed being kept nice and warm for me, so I am going to head off and get some sleep.

Thanks to everyone for the support, It actually helped more than you would think.

I will drop in tomorrow some point with a more detailed post, but for now I am about to die from exhaustion, so I am off.

Thanks again all, I’ll be back in a few hours.

Hurray!!!

Ok my friend, we release you! Go enjoy your evening.

Yay!

Ha! Sleep. Sure. Glad she’s arrived safely.

Fairy tale ending.

This is so sweet. Sweet dreams!

Yay! Tell her I say, “Welcome to your new life!”

WOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!! This is the happiest thing I’ve heard all day. So glad she is safely there. Give her hugs from the land of jellies. And do try to get some rest.

^^^ Right up there in the pantheon of Fluther romances along with Whathefluther’s proposal to Sherry.

Going to the Chapel

How wonderful!!!

Yes!. Sometimes love does prevail. Good for both of you. If you guys ever hit a rough patch in your relationship (and they happen) just remember these days.

Fantastic! :D

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just got home from work (thank goodness I had work to keep me occupied all day, otherwise I would’ve been watching this thread like a hawk) and the first thing I did was get my computer to see if there were any updates. Glad I can finally release my breath! haha Wishing you both a lifetime of happiness together! :)

@Adirondackwannabe beat me to it. But he’s right, always remember the year-long journey to this moment if you ever hit a rough patch. :)

I also was out all day long, but thinking about this situation. Officially weeping with happiness for both of you now. Can’t wait to hear the short and long story of this. I swear, this should be a movie! I’m thinking it should star Johnny Lee Miller as Poisonantedote and Lucy Liu as his “Fiancé. Fits the bill pretty good I should think. : P

The Hollywood version of the Happy Couple

Ok, I am awake, and have to go work again, I I will drop in tonight with the long version of the story, assuming I get time, if not tomorrow.

Thanks again to everyone who showed support.

I can help but wonder if she knows we are all here?

I think we should all go over to Spain for the wedding.

Jimmy the Greek says that this nice woman is not focusing on Fluther now.

Don’t worry about us @poisonedantidote. Focus on your love and enjoy the time you get to spend with her. We’ll still be here.

Here is all of the Fluther Gang watching this story play out on the big computer screen.

Have a great week @poisonedantidote and you can fill us in when you’ve had time to enjoy your new life

@Kardamom Very good.

This is such a wonderful thread, better than a movie any day. So romantic and heart warming.

Good news! First thing I looked for this morning. I’m so glad it worked out.

4am, I am back in the area.

As the 48 hours are now over, this will probably be my last post in this thread, anything else that comes up in future would no doubt go under a different header title.

So far everything has been going okay, just the expected usual couple of days of sleeping, buying Taiwanese to Spanish electric converters, and unpacking all the stuff.

As for the parents they seem to be taking it okay surprisingly, well, they are not exactly happy, but there are no search parties, and from what I can tell, the tone mostly is along the lines of “oh well, I guess you know you are doing you seem to have it all figured out, don’t say I did not warn you when it all goes wrong, etc” So, oddly, that is actually good news really.

I am already in a much better mood, and feeling better about myself because I am having my self esteem boosted up again, and while I have a lot to do: (Organize a wedding ASAP, move in to a bigger place, get her work legal and help her find work, etc…) I am in a better mood in general.

379 days! ... “Insert innuendo joke here”

@JLeslie Yes, she is well aware of Fluther, even if she sadly does not show much interest in it. I have been on here like 3–4 years now? ... I can probably hide a crack habbit, but kind of hard to hide a Fluther addiction.

She will some times take a look at some of my posts, mainly my questions, but only on occasion. E.g. my questions on China’s 1 child policy, and anorexia in fashion, were to pool resources for university debates she was putting together. Other times it is just to get my opinion on something new, so she can come bug me with counter arguments for the lulz.

:-) I’m so happy for you. It’s good she knows about Fluther and she’s cool about it. We can help you plan the wedding now! It’s like you have a whole global network of sisters, mothers, nanas and women friends to give you tips :D

Oh oh oh… I took a cake making class! Can I bake the wedding cake? Can I? Huh, can I?

@poisonedantidote Hide dude. The wedding planners are coming out. But I’m so fucking happy this worked out for you guys. She’s got to be brave and so in love with you. Good luck for both of you.

They sound like they could be half the American parents I’ve encountered in my life, @poisonedantidote, who think that nobody is good enough for their child. (Perhaps even me a few times with some of the people my children dated.) We were all wrong. Love. It is a wonderful thing. Hold her tight and prove them wrong every day for the rest of your lives.

Congratulations! You guys are just like another one of my Favorite Couples only not in space. All though both of you are probably over the moon!

My daughter baked this cake for a wedding on Saturday. I volunteer her skills.

Another view, even though the three layers don’t show. Icing is chocolate mousse.

I haven’t been on Fluther for a few days but returned, full of hope for this young couple.

And it all worked out.

My heart is smiling at this. I am truly glad for you. Many blessings to you both!

But @poisonedantidote—where’s the promised long version of the story? the drama of how she slipped out and away, whether she had second thoughts, whether she ran into trouble at the border, the phone call you missed, and all the rest?

And I’m still interested to know where your parents stand on the matter. Were they in on your plans? Do they support you? Will all the parents come to the wedding?

^What she said.

I think they’re probably still smooching.

Just adding my 2¢ worth of best wishes, congratulations to both parties for the successful mission, and well done, Fluther.

Special thanks to @gailcalled for the reference back to this thread that I hadn’t even seen last week.