Have you ever regretted taking a risk?

I’d have to strain hard to recall, and I feel too good today to do that kind of straining. What I do remember, or at least believe, is that far more often than not the result—whether positive or negative, substantive or psychological—was worth the risk.

@Pachyderm_In_The_Room, yes I agree, but I’d like this question and the responses to explore those risk that were regretted. Not specifics but generally what type of decision/action, what did you regret and what was the fallout?

I made a two-measure Tympani solo to play in lieu of the (boring) written one. It sounded so good at practice and I played it perfectly but at the concert I let my nerves get a hold of me and I f*cked it up so badly. Grr. I was so frustrated that night I just ran home and went to bed.

@dxs, I’m dealing with the same type of thing. I don’t want to go into specifics because I don’t want the thread to go down the road of my situation, I will, but not yet.
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What has come of this experience since? Did you get back on the horse? Was it some type of deep lesson learned or is it just there forever?

Yes. It makes it very hard to continue to take risks or keep in perspective that some risks pay off.

The quote above seems to say there is always some silver lining. Maybe there is or maybe there isn’t but maybe it requires a reaction or internalized acceptance to turn the coal into diamonds. Maybe that’s the question I’m asking, how do you turn coal into diamonds or accomplish that silver lining even after the worst face plants.
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I’m NOT talking about mistakes or consequence, I’m talking about trying new challenges, expressions, or performances and it going very wrong, very similar to dxs’ situation and add to it that I was part of a team.

When I was in the service I worked in an office shuffling papers and begged and pleaded to be sent on a field mission. After some time my CO sent me on a ‘milk run’ mission that turned ugly and resulted in my first close combat experience. That was some 30 years ago and I still have nightmares of it. It did, however prepare me for other missions later in my career.

I disagree with the basic premise, so I cannot properly discuss the question as presented.

@YARNLADY Which premise? I’m exploring both sides. Maybe the answer is to move on and accept it with no further benefit or even harsh fall out.

@choreplay I simply don’t believe that it’s better to regret something you did. That’s like saying go ahead and shoot your obnoxious neighbor, your can regret it later. I’d rather think back on the years I wasted and regret them than regret something I did that I shouldn’t have done.

I’m not really into regret at all, what is done is over. My philosophy is how can I make today better than yesterday.

@YARNLADY I don’t think I’m planning on wallowing in regret, but if there is something to be redeemed before I move on, whether that is wisdom of whether I should have known to not get involved or whether I should try again.
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Sorry, it’s fresh and I’m just beginning to process what happened, what was my fault or maybe what I had stacked against me.
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After a couple more responses and I’ll fill in details.

Well @choreplay it made me conclude that I am not a performer. From then on (plus other circumstances) I’ll only play music for myself or friends as a hobby. Performing is too much, especially for someone like me who’s independent and more into music as a hobby. I may spend many hours of my life on music, but expressing it is just not for some people.

@dxs your answers are poignant and making the most sense.

The only risks I regret involve not putting my foot down and saying no to something someone else wanted to do when all my instincts were screaming ‘this won’t work’. I don’t believe in holding someone back from following their dreams, so I took a risk and went along with things against my better judgement.

For instance, my ex-husband wanted to go into business in a partnership the first time and I knew he didn’t get on well with the person he was suggesting as a partner. In the end I let him persuade me things would be fine and they weren’t.

Second time, I agreed to put a good deal of our money into a sole venture when my instincts and experience were telling me he wasn’t suited to being in business. He liked holidays and 9–5 work and just wasn’t good with money. Should have listened to my instincts.

So on the plus side I learned to listen to my instincts but the cost of that lession was quite high.

I tried my hand at acting and participated in a team short film competition. I told the director/ leader I wanted to find something to get involved in and upfront I stressed I was green. They put me in a large role but half way through the process I starting getting that they were not liking what I was doing and the situation just digressed from there.
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They did give direction and plus a little bit, but it just didn’t seem to play out.

Thanks for all your thoughts.

So why do you regret your decision to be involved @choreplay?

I would say that it depends. There are only two types of risks that I’ve regretted taking. The first type were the ones where I’d listened and caved into others against my own intuition, especially when that something did (or still does) cause me great physical or emotional trauma. The second type were the ones in which I’d caused hurt to others.

I don’t regret being bitten for taking some risks though when those risks really involved something that I’d considered important enough for me to attempt at the time, and if I can look back right now and still not regret it. It’s not my goal in life to conquer every challenge just for the sake of conquering it, but rather to conquer the challenges that I deem as important to me. I think this is a good question.

No regrets. I took the risk of moving to a secluded 5 acre property and was blissfully happy for 7 years until the bottom fell out of this economy. I am now living in a less than ideal situation and am not happy, however….I in-joyed 7 amazing years of incredible daily joy and even though I am mourning the loss of work and my savings, having to start from scratch again at almost 54, I wouldn’t trade those years and that risk and adventure for anything.

Few people can ( especially single women ) say they lived alone in the woods on a Walden Pond property by themselves for years. I have had some very unique life experiences and they are priceless.