Is it selfish to only want one child?

No, why would you think it selfish? Because you are not providing replacements for the both of you?

FWIW I enjoy having a brother and sister. I always feel I have someone at my back when I need a helping hand.

I’m an only child and the only thing I suggest is taking time to have your child share, donate time, and basically teach them to be givers. Only children tend to be a little more narcissistic and selfish, so instilling that sense of responsibility to others is very important.

Put them in situations where they become socialized with kids their own age.

I love having siblings. They are very important to me.

I have siblings, but none of them are near my age. My younger siblings are even younger than my child, so I feel like I grew up an only child. My husband is mostly an only child. It is because of our experiences that we want to have children closely spaced so that they can grow up with a sibling experience.

Selfish? Not in the slighest—in fact, quite the opposite. I think it’s a wise, responsible decision for the reasons you say, and I commend you for it. If your friends or relatives are telling you otherwise, ignore them.

I don’t think it is selfish in the least. If you know your limitations and that you will do the best by your kid by only having one, more power to you. I think more people need to think things like that through.

I’m an only child. It didn’t bother me as a child. I liked my own things and I was a very tidy child. It bothers me a little now, for the reason that, when my parents die, it’s just me.

Absolutely not.
Some people want a whole football team, some want only 1, some don’t want any children at all. It’s all about what works for you as a couple.
I give you both credit for knowing what you want and not doing what other people think you should do.

My father is an only child. I know he would have appreciated the help of siblings when his mother became ill and he had to take care of her. He had to rely on his children for help during this time. Life would have been very difficult if he didn’t have me and my sisters.

He has mentioned that he would have liked a sibling.

As a child I wished for siblings, and I still feel that way. I bore the incredible burden of my terminally ill mother my entire life, taking care of her as a child, and continuing on into her old age until she died. When I was 11 we found out she had a very painful and terminal illness. She continued to suffer until she died when I was 35.

I can hardly afford the one I have. I have no business making more mouths to feed.

I think more people should stop with one. The world is already overpopulated. My two sons were 16 years apart, so each one was an only child.

My youngest son and his wife did not like being onlys and they specifically chose to have their two children two years apart.

I am the middle of two and I liked having a brother and a sister. My brother, however, did not like having two sisters.

My sister and I are three and a half years apart. We never had much in common and she spent most of her life resenting me. Even now when I am approaching 60, she and I still barely speak to each other. We probably both would have been happier as only children.
One the other hand, my three children love each other and are very close. I am delighted for them that they appreciate their siblings.

Not at all; it’s selfish to have children without wanting them, or because you think you’re just “supposed” to have them. (That is, if the possibility of birth control is available).

Good for you for thinking about what things will be like for your child.

I was an only child, and would have liked siblings for many reasons, but mostly because it was incumbent upon me to puff up my parents’ extremely fragile egos.

My first husband was not only an only child but doted on by his father’s four maiden aunts who shared an apartment several blocks away and were omnipresent.

He had cousins but was, as was his father, treated like the little prince at home.

During our marriage, he managed to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, served with milk and oreos, matzoh brie and once, instant coffer after he figured out that the boiling water went into the coffee and not vice versa. This with two Harvard degrees.

His mother wanted more kids and did have college-aged male borders in the house to try to mitigate the situation, but it was too little too late.

Getting back to the original question, I don’t think making a choice about the size of one’s family can be called either “selfish” or unselfish.” I had two and knew that a third would finish me, both physically and emotionally.

You know how people say “if men could get pregnant they’d only ever have one kid each”?

I am living proof that this is absolutely true.

I think a better argument could be made for asking “Is it selfish to want to be an only child?”

I think it is very responsible to choose the number of children you are prepared to have. If later in life you want another, you can alway adopt or become foster parents.

No. That’s silly.

I am an only child and I loved it. I was not a spoiled or selfish only child as my parents taught me better and gave me (tons of) responsibility.

My daughter is an only child and we raise her similarly.

Selfish? No. It is your personal choice.

Why would that be selfish?

My sister is 8 years older than me. We didn’t become close until I was nearly an adult, so I may as well have been an only child. I turned out just fine, albeit a bit spoiled and high maintenance. My step-father apologizes to my husband for that quite a bit. :)

I’m an only, and I never minded as a kid. I am a little envious of my friends who have close relationships with their siblings as adults, but am also quite happy to be on my own.