I am turning 40 soon. All of the women my age don't have grey hair at all while I have a salt/pepper thing going. Should I dye mine?

You’re bald anyways.

@AshLeigh I keep my hair really short but the hair I still have is salt and peppery. I am with women my age and they are all not grey! My much older sister has no grey for some reason.

Do what makes you feel best. If you’d feel better dying your hair, them go for it. :0)

Shave it!
If it bothers you, I don’t see any reason not to dye it. Except of you keep it really short, it’ll grow out again pretty quickly.

If you can get rid of the grey with a shampoo that has coloring in it, do it. I’ve seen ads for men’s products like that. If you can see the grey again in less than a week, you may as well accept the grey. It’s not considered unattractive for men to have grey hair as it may be for women. It just gives men a more “sophisticated” look.

My daughter asked me if my husband had his hair done to get the perfect gray highlights!
The problem with coloring really short hair is that you have to do it more often because you get your hair cut more often.
People have come to expect a little out growth from women but a man might get some strange looks. (Not fair, sexist I know, if you don’t care ignore that part.)
The other not fair thing is that gray on a man can be really sexy. It only is on a woman if she has a complete head of long thick perfectly silver shiny hair. (And she’s really thin.)
You decide, but I happen to love my mans gray even though I cover my own. (I’m 52, he’s 63)

Do you like the way you look or not?

It is all about whether you like the way you look with gray hair. If you like it leave it, if you don’t color it. It doesn’t have as much to do with the color of other people’s hair, it is about how you feel about it.

I have been completely gray since my early 30’s. For a long time I colored my hair. A couple of years ago I decided to grow it out. I am happy with the gray but I admit that now and then I get the urge to color it!

I’m 40 in a few months but have yet to grow any gray hair on my head. My goatee has about two dozen white hairs though.

I say dye it if you prefer the youthful look. Not something to even fret about, just do it.

I say be yourself.

No surprises here.

As a woman I have to say, that I didn’t start getting gray until after I started losing my eyesight so I have never really seen the gray that my hairdresser swears is there. Denial is a great thing and I’m thankful i can’t see the top of my head with bifocals.

I’m pushing 40 myself, and while my thinning head hair is still as it always was, my beard has been salt-and-pepper for years.

Thing is, there is a difference in the way the genders are viewed. Women are generally considered more attractive when they have smooth skin, firm tits, and no grey hair while men can get wrinkled, grey, and a little droopy all over and it’s considered either natural or outright dignified. We can go grey and, so long as you’re over 30, nobody even really notices, let alone cares.

Let the grey stay.

I think it depends on how you feel about yourself. At 40 I had a beautiful gray streak that didn’t affect my good looks. (tehehe) I like the fact that I had decided I was going to grow old gracefully. At 50 my gray was still beautiful (to me anyway). At 60 the aging face in the mirror and gray hair didn’t go well together and that’s when I started dying it. I feel better now.

I love short, salt & pepper hair on a woman, but whether you dye yours or let is natural, do what makes you feel best.

No! Own it!

I, for one, love the salt and pepper look on men. You guys age so well – even with grays and wrinkles, you just get more handsome and distinguished with time. Be happy that you belong to the sex that ages like wine and not the one that ages like milk.

I can’t wait until my husband gets gray hair and crow’s feet. It’s hot to me. Then again, I have a thing for older guys.

I would say no. Unless you do it well, it can look fake. Salt and pepper on a guy looks sexy and distinguished. I agree with @livelaughlove21 men age well and can get better looking as they grow older. It’s so not fair.

If you are trying to attract a 20 year old, then dye it. If you are looking for someone 35+ they will be fine with your salt/pepper hair. If attracting a mate is not your goal, but looking professional is, then keep it. Makes you look smarter and stable. If none of those is your goal, then do what you want.

Salt/pepper on a man is very desirable to me and has been ever since I hit my thirties.

I should say that I’m 23, so it’s not only the older ladies that like the gray. :)

If you were a woman I would say dye it for sure. Since you are a man I would say I have to see you to be sure, but my first inclination is don’t bother. If you have short hair you will have to dye it every three weeks probably, it’s a pain to keep up with. You certainly can give it a try, see what you think, and then stop at any time. It isn’t really a big deal. You could use a semi-permanent that washes out in about 6 weeks.

I prefer seasoning over the artificial shit. Go natural. My husband shaves his head, but he does have some sexy gray/white facial hair here and there.

I’m so happy I’m blond and I don’t have to worry too much about being judged by other women when my hair goes white. Jane Goodall is my inspiration.

30 year old woman here and I rock my greys.
I love it when people let their hair grey, I think it’s really attractive to let it be natural.

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought: All of the women your age do not not have grey hair. Millions of attractive and confident women do not dye their hair.

So many women who color their hair look unmatched. The hair (which is usually clearly colored) doesn’t match the skin, hands, and general demeanor. I have never understood the need to do this. Who’s fooling whom?

If you dye your hair one color (what the colorists call “single process”) then it’s going to be obvious it’s dyed because most people with natural color have some differences in shade. It’s your choice but I don’t think there’s such a stigma for men to have gray hair as there is for women to have gray hair.

Why is it a stigma for women?

I’m in @Imadethisupwithnoforethought‘s age bracket, and I’d say about half my female friends choose not to dye their hair. I never have, and never will. I love the way my hair looks. I really don’t like the look of dyed hair with grey roots growing out, and as @gailcalled says, a lot of dye jobs look unnatural. That’s being kind. Some of them look surreal. And it seems to me that people lose the ability to recognize this as they age. Or at least that’s how I explain to myself the number of truly elderly women with oddly metallic shades or orange and red.

@gailcalled I don’t think it is about fooling usually. It’s simply people don’t like to look older than they are, and some people grey very early. I am 45 and don’t have many greys at all. My husband is 46 and his hair is still black, wavy, full, and I am completely jealous. LOL. Some people early grey in their 20’s. In fact, my husband’s sister started in her 20’s. She is now in her 50’s and her hair color does not look artifical, her hair color is a very realistic dark brown. If her hair was natural it would age her considerably.

Women who are 19 and have no grey also change their hair color. It is a cultural norm. Whether covering grey or brown or blond, the dye job is similar. We are used to seeing women with their hair colored.

@JLeslie: If she is in her 50’s and let her grey hair show, why would that age her considerably? She will still look in her 50’s. You are the age you are.

But 50 is the new 30 @gailcalled. Didn’t you get the memo? ;)

@gailcalled I associate being all grey with 60’s and older. I know women who are much younger who are grey, but they look older because of their grey. I realize it has to do with how we are conditioned, what we see because it is a cultural norm for women to dye their hair. It also is statistically normal to not start greying until our 40’s. People who grey in their 20’s amd 30’s are outside of the bell curve I would say.

My SIL doesn’t look 50 anyway. She looks younger. She looks amazing.

I just bought a house in Oregon and have lived in CA for the last 25+ years. I can tell you that in CA just about everyone colors their hair. In Oregon it’s way less. I split the difference and did henna this time.

Go with the natural greying. I think it looks very attractive on most men, and on many women, too.

Disclaimer: I’m a woman and occasionally color my hair, but not to cover my grey and I have a lot of grey for a 45 year old, I think. I only do it because I no longer look like a redhead if I don’t (I look blond with all the grey/silver mixed in.) Being a redhead has always been such a big part of my identity that I miss it sometimes and break out the hair color for a while.

I’m in my mid 40s and I’m about 30% grey, but I keep my hair very short (buzz-cut #2) so there isn’t much point dying it even if I was bothered. However if I was a natural red-head like @Augustlan you can bet I would grow it longer and dye it to keep it ginger for as long as possible.

I just turned 40 and frankly the salt n pepper look is not for me at this point in my life, but it does look nice with some complexions, especially darker skin. Whatever makes you feel beautiful is what you should do. Happy almost 40th bday!

@augustlan , have you tried henna to bring your red back?

I think men look sexy with the salt and pepper look going on. It doesn’t work so well for women though so I understand why they tend to put off accepting the grey bits for as long as possible.

@Leanne1986: Again, I ask why it doesn’t work so well for women. Can you look your age and still look “amazing”? Does that mean healthy, energetic, content, cheerful, or productive?

@gailcalled One of my very good female friends is over 50 and wears her salt n pepper very well.
I think it tends to add age to women (who are valued more for youth & beauty in most countries), whereas men look distinguished and aristocratic (imo.)

I think that for women, there’s more of an emphasis on looking young. Yes, a woman can look vibrant and beautiful with gray hair but society places value on looks and looking young is part of that. That’s why we see more mature looking male anchors on the news but women, not so much past their early 40’s, save for a few here and there (generally the big ones like Katie Couric and Diane Sawyer, and of course Barbara Walters). I am willing to bet that about ¾ of hair color sales (including professionally done) are to women, and at least half of those are to color gray, as opposed to just wanting a different shade. I bet that 80% of plastic surgeries performed are to women, too.

When I was little (1970’s), middle aged and older women had gray hair, short, curly hairstyles, and looked old. My elderly aunt expressed annoyance that my mom was 40 with below the shoulder, straight hair. My aunt felt that women over 30 should have short hairstyles. Now women who are 60 dress like women who are 30. That’s our culture. It’s not the opinion of just the few.

@gailcalled I am going to interject and say that a woman can look her age and look amazing, and that goes for any age. But, a 35 year old who is salt and peppered looks older than her age by the standards in society today. Even at 50 grey makes the woman look older than she is. Same with wrinkles. Women who are wrinkled before their time look older, but they are their age, what else can they be? Now that has gone to even a more extreme that so many people are botoxing. Good or bad that is how it is. Although, I will say that over botoxed or extreme plastics looks terrible and fake. Same with tons of hair extensions and super shiny glossy hair. Once it start looking very unrealistic it looks more like a 50 year old trying too hard to be young rather than a 50 year old trying to look her best.

I don’t know, @JLeslie. I’ve had grey coming in since my 20s, and people consistently guess my age as younger, not older. And I’m not talking about flatterers, either.

I think youthfulness is more likely to be judged by confidence and ease than by hair colour. If you feel good about yourself, people pick up on that.

I think it makes women “look older” because most women have been conditioned not to let it go natural until they hit a later age, usually when the entire head has lost pigment. So we just aren’t used to seeing younger women look that way, but it doesn’t mean that it isn’t perfectly normal for younger women to have grey hair.

@glacial I started getting bits of grey in my teens and I am not extremely grey now as it’s pretty concentrated at my temples, but people still guess my age as younger than I am. In fact, I’ve never had anyone guess that I was older now that I’m thinking about it. Just this week I had “23” and “28,” and I’ll be 31 in a month. Not a crazy difference, but still younger.

@glacial I think everything counts. Height, weight, skin, hair. My husband and I see very overweight 25 year olds and can’t believe they are so young. They often have young faces, gorgeous hair when you really look at them, it isn’t just one thing.

Maybe there is a tipping point? A 20 year old with some stray greys still looks youthful. A 40 year old half grey might look in her 50’s might not.

Interesting article on going grey. It’s an article out of the UK that cites more women are going grey younger. It talks about stress and B vitamins. I do think there is possibly some sort of medical issue going on outside of just genetics. Hormones, vitamins, who knows what else. I have read thyroid conditions also can influence greying. I don’t think there is any conclusive studies about any of it though.

@JLeslie My friend with grey hair has horrible halitosis, that’s all I know…lol

@JLeslie ”...according to a new study that’s been made exclusively available to Life & Style.” The research was carried out by a hair care company. Not exactly a credible source.

@glacial I said I don’t know of any conclusive studies.

@KNOWITALL It might be a clue, you never know. Has she ever been tested for STD’s in her mouth? That is overlooked a lot.

@JLeslie: I think everything counts. Height, weight, skin, hair.

Height?

@gailcalled Yes, even height. My sister is 5’2”, petite, I think both contribute to her looking younger than she is. Not so much now that she has reached her 40’s, but when she was 25 and people sometimes thought she was still in high school, I think her height was part of the reason.

@JLeslie She’s an older hippie lady, married and very well-kept, vegan/ raw diet. I assumed her diet may be to blame, but I have no idea.

I haven’t asked and we actuallly don’t talk about her breath much, I just give her mints and move on…lol, I love her and would never want to offend her ya know?!

@KNOWITALL Oh, I thought it was one of your peers. Yeah, I wouldn’t say anything and I doubt it is an STD.

@JLeslie I don’t know, you know those older hippy types…lol

Halitosis is difficult to convey, right? I’ve tried a few times and it never works.

IMHO there are always exceptions, but in general, a 50 year old woman who is mostly gray is going to look older than a 50 year old woman who has mostly zero gray.

I have friends in their 40’s 50’s an 60’s who dye their hair and when I try to envision them with mostly gray or totally gray, what I envision is “old” compared to what they look like with their current (dyed) color.

@gailcalled Just to add, on the flip side, a 15 year old who is 5’7” with some curves often is mistaken for older.

@jca I agree. I think if a 20 year old is early grey she won’t look 60, I think if she has many other traits that say I am young and in my 20’s the hair is just an oddity and can be overlooked, but once you hit middle age, then there is a little voo doo in the age guessing. Some 45 year olds look 10 years older, some 10 years younger, the hair makes a difference in that case I think.

If you are actively working then I say dye it, if not then accept that you are now a mature
person and embrace that milestone, and not hide it.
It is too bad that society acquaints grey hair with old age.

I stopped dying my hair years ago and have saved money.
My hairdresser tried to get me to streak it, but I refused.
(Anything to get one back into her hair salon, on a regular basis).

I also years ago stopped using makeup because of the chemicals in them.
( probably causes cancer).
I go outdoors a lot so I am tanned anyways.
One looks healthier, and that in itself is more attractive rather than using artificial means
( makeup) to look good.

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought I agree… accept that you are now a mature woman. ;)

@Judi I haven’t tried henna. Where do you get it?

Also saw a documentary on “Finding your Element” on PBS TV last night.
http://sirkenrobinson.com/
Above is the website.
Sir Ken Robinson talks about how to find your passion and acceptance of yourself to also find
what your inner being is searching for in terms of career fulfillment etc
Hope this helps thought that I’d add this tidbit of info.

Technically, hair doesn’t go gray. Individual strands turn white and give that salt and pepper impression.

Eventually, one’s hair turns completely white, hair by hair.

Re; height. There s always the interesting solution of the Procrustean bed.

In the Greek myth, Procrustes was a son of Poseidon… he had an iron bed, in which he invited every passer-by to spend the night, and where he set to work on them with his smith’s hammer, to stretch them to fit. In later tellings, if the guest proved too tall, Procrustes would amputate the excess length.

@augustlan, I got it from amazon.com. My daughter is a natural redhead but its fading. She went to a salon to try to brighten it up and they turned it purple. She even took in a picture of her son so they could see the color she wanted.
After I did the henna I had to send a picture to my daughter. It was my grandsons exact color if red!

@gailcalled I don’t know why you bring up torture. I am not suggesting people change their height or even worry about their height. I personally think being a little shorter as a woman is better than being taller. I never think of my sister, SIL, MIL, and one of my closest dearest friends as short, and they all are right at about 5’2”.

@gailcalled I don’t know the answer to your question but, I admit to generalising a little in my previous answer. I hve known a few women who look amazing with white hair. My grandmother is very jealous of her sisters who have pure white hair when hers is appears gray. She feels they look far more elegant.

Hair color is like tattoos. Someone will always think its wrong but when you really get down to it it’s your body to do with as you please.

It goes without saying that anybody can do anything they’d like to with their personal appearance.

@jca, it SHOULD go without saying, bit I have heard people criticize things like breast implants and hair color while they sport tattoos and piercings. I’m just pointing out that to do so is hypocritical, and also, people with cosmetic enhancements have no real right to criticize tattoos and piercings.