Does my bf have a good reason to not like his sister's "man"?
Asked by
chelle21689 (
7907
)
June 13th, 2013
from iPhone
Asking out of curiosity for your thoughts.
My bf’s older sister just got out of a relationship of 4 years. She moved back in a few months ago. She is 27 and my bf is 23. She was sad but soon after her break up she began dating some guy she’s been friends with at her job. They’ve been seeing each other for 2–3 months now.
My bf talks passive aggressively about this guy and makes “mean” jokes about him when they aren’t around. Kind of gave her a hard time last night saying she needed to come home since she’s been staying at his place the last few days. He makes excuses why he doesn’t like the guy like “She sees him a lot, he’s supposed to pursue her”. or “She spends too much time with him.” His other sister agreed that it is too soon.
For crying out loud she’s the oldest and they are treating her like a child telling her what to do.
He never acted like this with his other sister or this sister’s past relationship. Honestly the guy is a lot nicer and comes to the family functions unlike her ex who never came around.
My bf said “she’s going to get hurt” and I told him you can get hurt no matter what and that I could even get hurt by him. I also mentioned its more likely she’s rebounding on the guy that really likes her and she’s using him to get over it so if its anyone to be hurt its the guy most likely.
The whole family is iffy about him because he’s a few years younger than her and she moved on quick.
Observing members:
0
Composing members:
0
12 Answers
They’re just being overprotective like family tends to do. When big sis gets tired of it, she’ll let them know, I’m sure. But it’s normal and your bf is just being a typical brother, no one is good enough, especially when big sis is fragile.
Don’t worry and don’t EVER come between family, let them work it out and try not to get involved. That being said, if bf is being a jerk, you certainly should tell him your opinion.
Clearly a sexual attraction towards his sister.
The family needs to ease up and let her live her own life. Ask the brother how he would feel if people were commenting on his relationship with her or dissecting it.
Did the family like the ex? I know when my brother would break up with someone I liked, it would take me awhile to warm up to the new girlfriend.
To me, this is between your bf and his sister. I would stay out of it.
Also, what @ragingloli said. ;)
Lol that’s the weird thing. I wouldn’t say they liked the ex but accepted him. It’s just they were bothered (I would be too) if I only saw him once a year if they’ve been dating for 4 years
It’s funny cuz I mentioned I met him a month after my long relationship and he said that’s different.
Could your BF be territorial towards his sisters boyfriends.
I knew a girl who had four brothers who were so interferring in her life all the way through school years.
She ended up moving away and became a Court Judge.
Then married and had children.
It took several years before her brothers respected her choices in life and partners.
Sounds like he just doesn’t want to see her get hurt again.
It could be a cultural thing, especially with him making a comment such as “She sees him a lot, he’s supposed to pursue her”.
It sounds like it has more to do with her and the actual relationship than her boyfriend.
I’m posting an answer based upon very limited information, and where I’m only hearing one side but here it goes. Why would your boyfriend make excuses to not like the guy when the new boyfriend has been seemingly decent so far? So would he rather his sister date a jerk who ‘pursues’ her vs a dating a decent guy? It sounds like your so-called ‘man’ is more interested in having a guy date his sister who fits his egotistic criteria rather than a dating a more passive guy who may actually be a decent human being.
It doesn’t sound like your boyfriend is looking out for his sister’s best interests, and I’m a guy with two younger sisters myself. I’ve had this happen to me before myself as a guy in a similar scenerio to what you’ve mentioned above. The girl whom I was dating had a brother who never approved of me, but yet would try to influence her to get back with her ex who treated her very badly. On top of that her brother would try to set her up with guys who were clearly ‘winners’, like the types of guys whom rarely worked, gotten in trouble with the law, always treated others like crap, etc. I really do have to question your boyfriend’s intentions here.
Answer this question 
Composing members:
0
