What am I suppose to do, please help me?

I say, do the right thing.

Sometimes, when your a grownup, you have grown up responsibilities, that includes working when you’d rather be having fun.

You already know what the right thing to do is. You should follow those instincts.

I know the right thing would be to attend the work event. It’s just that this will be a job that I will be quitting in 2 months due to school schedules. I also feel like I owe it to the friends that I made sign up for the the event because I wanted to go.

I say screw the job, you are being bullied. If you have had these plans for awhile too bad and I would just say ” I;m sorry but I have a prior obligation that has been planned in advance.”
Doing the right thing means not letting anyone manipulate you.

Is there a way that you could do both ( like spending some time helping out with the work thing either before or after the fun thing with your friends)?

I understand wanting to skip out on the work thing, especially since you are going to be leaving there soon, but the people you work with now could be people you work with again in the future or possibly references for future employment. You don’t want to burn your bridges, no matter how unlikely it is that you’ll need them again.

Yet at the same time,it hurts me so much to let down the people that I work with, I feel like I’ve told them repeatably that I can not come, and yet they continue to ask again each week, that I will be there.

I WISH I cold do both, but they are scheduled for the same time.

Do you expect you may use the place you are working now as a reference? It will not be a positive one if you don’t help with the event. Your friends will understand, if you explain.

I think the idea of using them as a future reference scares me the most… I feel like I’m throwing the past year away. It is related to my field, but I do have another organizations that will provide me with references if needed.

Have you talked it over with your boss? Sometimes they can make an exception.

for me it’s like this, imagen you’ve waited months for a Basket Ball game, (it’s not a baseball game just an example) and you and you’re friend have already bought tickets. They offered to pay for my ticket money, but I don’t want to miss the game

I talked to my boss, but I’ve gotten to know her so well that she is no longer a “boss” figure. So when I say I can’t come in, she’ll so to cancel my plans and come. I know the right thing to do is to go in because work comes frist, but I want to enjoy my life, and have events like this to remember because I do not do these things often. My problem is whenever I say I can’t, they repeatably insist I come, and I don’t know how to respond. I’m a people pleaser

I would go have fun instead. Work is important, but not so much that you have to look back when you’re older and wonder if you even had fun. It’s only one day, and not like you do this a lot (hopefully lol).

how do I respond when they keep insisting I come, and making me feel like I “Have” to come?

Flat out ask them if it is a mandatory event. If they say no, then tell them that you already have other plans at the same time and ask if there is another way you can help with the event. If they say yes it is mandatory, you will need to make a choice as to which thing you are going to do.

If they’re being so insistent, it sounds like it’s an important event. Why do you have to be at this work event. Did you notify your supervisor that you would be unavailable for work on the day of the fun event before you knew about the work thing?

and I think because of it I’m hating myself.

I know a job is a commitment, it is my first job. But it is not my career, and I feel like I will be missing a life experience because of this. Either way Im going to be miserable because either way I’m letting myself and others down..

Why can’t the date with the friend be put to another day?

It’s a part-time job; it’s not your life. The “fun event that you’ve paid for in advance and been looking forward to for months” sounds like it is your life.

“The right thing” seems perfectly obvious to me. Keep in mind that you might be looking for a new job soon, though.

Enjoy the hell out of your fun event.

@whattodo222

You have jumped through the pressure hoop numerous times already. The next time someone tries to coerce you say ” What part of “No” are you not understanding?” Or…I would say, very clearly and firmly, ” I have told you I am not able to attend, please do not ask me again.”

If they do, ignore it, walk away, don’t engage. You ARE being manipulated, see it for what it is. Anything beyond initial mild persuasion is manipulation. They are playing the broken record tactic hoping you will cave and do what they want. Don’t do it and call them out on their stuff.
I loathe manipulative people and refuse to get sucked into their bullshit coercion ploys.

Is this event for work on a work day or on a non work day? Are you going to be paid for attending?
If it is on a work day, I would probably go. If it is scheduled for after work, then no, I would go to my “fun” event. Let me tell you right now that if any other worker there had previous plans, they would not let the work event interfere with their plans. They are being bullies and I agree with @Coloma. Be firm but nice and don’t dwell on the subject with anyone of them.
“No, I have other plans that day.” Then walk away from the conversation. If you stay, they can coerce you.

I would go to the fun event and fiigure you may have burned your bridges with the job since it is not that important to you anyway. “I’m sorry but I have told you already that I have prior plans for the day.”