Which inanimate object has it out for you?

I think you mean “has it in for you”—meaning “is out to get you.” (Odd idioms, aren’t they?)

My main cosmic battle is with gravity. I also have ongoing struggles with car doors and seatbelts. I’m clumsy and easily distracted, so I burn my fingers a bit too often. However, I’ve finally learned to be extra careful with sharp things and things that can trip me. Maybe some of these battles are winnable.

My bed frame. I keep catching my ankle on the corner of it.

That damned treadmill!!

My laptop’s power cord…it’s a daily, losing battle for me! I know it’s there, and I can see it, and yet I always manage to trip on it.

My headphones

The chair on the front porch. The arm on that chair always scratches my leg/hip when I sit down. Damnit.

The copiers at work!! They hate me for some reason.

The ceiling mounted monitors in our operating rooms. I’ve been to the emergency department 3 times this year to have head wounds glued, stitched and taped shut.

Computers used to hate me. At one point we had a computer room in our house and I wasn’t even allowed in there. However, over the years they seem to have grown used to me.

Corner of bed, it’s at knee height.

My girlfriend when she’s pissed off. : )

@mazingerz88 Given the specifics in the question, your girlfriend must be a blow-up doll! ;)

Saran wrap aka plastic wrap. I’m a journeyman plastic wrap rope maker!

My daughter’s toys. I’ve tripped myself on them more times than I can count. No matter how many times we clean them up, there is always one waiting somewhere to get me.

My Dad’s car. Every time I touch it to get in, I get zapped by static electricity.

Every small tool in my toolbox. They take turns going missing, even if I just used the one currently missing 20 minutes ago.

I always feel like the rest of them are laughing at me, like I’m their entertainment….
.

I’d have to say my printer(s). We have two at home now. Let’s call them P1 and P2. We got the second because every time I needed to print something and was going to a meeting P1 would refuse to work. It happened pretty much every time I was in a rush. Send to printer, run in to grab it as I leave…...... nothing. So enter P2 which worked perfectly until it didn’t. Now for some reason, it won’t work at all! So I have to tell the computer to pick P1 over P2 and make sure I remember to print long before I need to leave so I have time to ring my husband and scream hysterically that I hate printers and I’m about to throw them both through the window and can he print this for me urgently. Thankfully he works only 15 minutes away and it’s his own business.

So, printers.

Followed by the Foxtel remote. It won’t stop fast-forwarding or rewinding when I want it to or it won’t scroll through the recorded programs. You have to jiggle the batteries and then it will work for a while. I hate that thing. Especially when my cat is using the Foxtel box as a cat heater and drops his tail in front of the infrared receiver doover. Imagine… “why won’t this damn thing stop!!!” Press, press, press. Aaagh! It’s you and your tail again.

The outlet in my bathroom. It hates me.

12oz cans.

TV remote, where the fuck are you this time, you big buttoned bastard!!

None of my trusty electronic devices including computer, scanner, wireless router, and iPhone—UNTIL I’m on a tight deadline and desperately need to use one of them !!!

The coffee table, I swear it moves and tries to trip me, or break my shin in the middle of the night.

Corners of all kinds. Corners of the walls, door frames, desks, tables, chairs…everything in my house that can have a corner, apparently. They seem to be made of some magnetic substance that my thighs and/or shoulders are extremely attracted to. :/

Dog bones and toys – they hurt my feet.

Infamy! Infamy! They’ve all got it infamy!

My enemies are chair-legs, table legs and the bottoms of doors. I am constantly banging my toes on things, because I’m blind in one eye and cannot judge distances accurately. I learned as a child that wearing strong outdoor shoes indoors is essential to avoid broken toes.

The corner of my wife’s hope chest at the end of our bed. Pointy and sharp, I always jam my leg into it in the middle of the night. There is clearly no hope left within it.

@Dr_Lawrence I remember back in the day, stepping on mushy wet rawhide bones in the middle of the night LOL

I was just reminded of a new one at lunch today. Those little plastic ketchup or soysauce packs never want to open for me, and when they do, they squirt all over the place.

I, too, was reminded of a new one today: reusable mugs with lids! They never want to close for me and when they do, I can never get them to open again. A few weeks back I found my friend’s missing mug as I was leaving work and I decided to take it home with me and bring it back the next day to give her. Well, when I got home I went to remove the lid to wash it off and of course it wouldn’t come out. Instead of just letting it go I tried to force it open and I used so much force that the handle broke off! I couldn’t help but laugh at the whole situation, especially when the contents of the mug went splashing everywhere. And just now I spent close to 10 minutes trying to shut the lid on a mug with water. I should just accept defeat.