Your life, or you S/O, who would you choose?

I would choose my husband. For pretty much the same reasons you gave. I love him. I would want him to live. From a more practical perspective, I’ve always felt he will live longer than me. So if he lived, he would be around for my children for longer than I would. He’s their dad (even if he isn’t their biological father). I know he would always be there for them.

I would choose my partner because I love her… and she is of more use to society than I am. She would choose me because she loves me…and because of my deep fascination of life.

I think it’s an impossible question to answer unless and until you’re in the situation where the choice must be made.

Who among us wouldn’t want to believe ourselves noble, loving and selfless enough to pay the ultimate price for the one we love, but can we truly know beforehand what we would do in this horrible hypothetical situation?

I would choose myself because I don’t want to die and I don’t see him as being better than me. He’s not.

On the flip side, I know he’d make the same choice and save himself.

It has nothing to do with love. We love each other very much. I just know not to give into romantic notions and self sacrifice. You don’t die for love. Or at least, I don’t. There’s a lot of things to die for but a partner isn’t one of them, in my book.

I do think most people would actually choose the same as me in this situation. Of course, you’d like to think differently, maybe you’re the one lone noble one willing to die. I don’t think so. When Hitler gassed those poor people in the chambers, people burning the bodies later could see that children and some wives were literally crushed to death until the death struggle of the men to try and escape.

Ultimately, I do believe survival instinct kicks in for most, and we save ourselves. But I don’t see any need to override that for myself. I would not die for my partner. Steven Hawking, I’d like to think I would for him because of his massive contributions… but who knows.

Sorry, hubby.

It’s not that I don’t love him – I do. But we have a young son, and while my husband is a great dad, he’s not the nurturing, lesson-teaching type. I’m just saying that I’d make a better single parent than he would.

Let me ask this:

Do you (or anyone here) believe that one’s answer to this question is indicative of how much they love their partner?

As in, someone who answers like me doesn’t love their partner as much as someone who would give the more noble answer?

Food for thought.

I’m placing “operation savearse” into gear, namely mine.
It’s going to be emotional & yes, regrets may be had, but overall, I love my life…I want my life…I preserve my life.
Sorry babes, but i’d expect no less from you, why am I talking to her, she’s not a member here…thank fuck!
@seekingwolf Ha, there’s almost certainly someone who believes that, ignore those poor deluded buggers, for they know not what the fuck they’re on about :)

I would choose my wife to survive.
It isn’t just because I love her, but I am unafraid of death, and she is very afraid of it.
My death would also give her enough money for her to live in our retirement place, which she has been craving for years.

From a purely intellectual point of view I would suggest flipping a coin to decide. Whether I would be capable of going along with this if the flip was not in my favor is something I can’t honestly say without being in the situation, which fortunately should never arise.

@ucme

Haha, you’re right. Shoddy way of measuring love, in my opinion.

I hate to harp on this again, but heck, I’ll do it.

Anyone recall the Milgram Experiment? “http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milgram_experiment”

Ask people about what they’d do, and everyone claims that they would be part of the tiny portion who didn’t take part in the shocking. It’s total hogwash. MOST people went along with it, despite misgivings.

I made a lot of people in my highschool Psych class when everyone claimed that THEY would be noble, of course, and I told them that statistically, everyone in our class would have gone along with it and that they were full of s__t.

@LostInParadise

That’s a good idea if it’s a “tie”. I prefer the utilitarian method. Who does the most good in the world, who provides the most positive? Who has the most potential to do so but who is also most likely to reach that potential?

Thus why from a theoretical standpoint, I’m okay with putting Hawking before myself. He’ll do far more for all of humanity than I ever could dream of doing, and I don’t say that with jealousy, just acceptance and respect!

Milgram experiment was also know as the Nazi experiment.

This question tugs a warped a heart chord

My S/O is deceased. I have already had to make the end of life decision. Yes I would take his place but unfortunatley it wasn’t between him and I, he was the only one being kept alive by machines.

Of course it really doesn’t matter now because I am also dead inside.
BTW, I’m actually a tiny bit jealous that he got the easy part. :/

The other person, whomever it was, so my husband in this scenario. Most people are in love with life, I’m a little darker than that and have a slightly different philosophy.

Now if it was my kids…daddy go bye bye!

I would choose me, since my life is the only life that I should have such control over, as to end it.

@nofurbelowsbatgirl so sorry

I think he would give up his life for me, but me…. I feel bad saying this but I can’t really tell at the moment what I’d do.

I think maybe if you’re dating for a couple of years, that’s different from being married to someone and having kids. I feel sooo bad :(

I don’t think he would give his life for me, and I wouldn’t want him to.

I really like my life.

My husband and I always used to say that “when we were 80” we would start using lots of heroin and stop trying to be good citizens, just zone out and enjoy it, and then when we felt like it, drive off a cliff together. We were never going to be “80” together, he was 8 years older than me, it just meant “when we’re absolutely past being productive”. Then he was diagnosed with lung cancer at 73 and died in six months. We had to have a little talk about whether I was going to off myself if he had to give up the ghost. I told him I didn’t intend to. He was glad.
The 5 years since he died have been decreasingly horrible. I thought I should spare the other people who loved him the trauma of dealing with a suicide as well as a loss from illness.
If I’d died when he did, it would have been great. But my body wasn’t into it.

My husband would prefer to die than go through the Alzheimer’s he has to go through. (Yesterday he put toothpaste on a sore the doctor said to put Vaseline on. He knew something was supposed to be put on it. I said firmly that I would do the honors, not he.) I would humbly accept his choice. If he didn’t have this disease, I would wish to go first.

@seekingwolf, I think you’re the only person who’s suggested the choices being expressed here are a measure of people’s love for their partner. Are you judging people based on their answers here?

My decision, apart from love, was based on my knowledge of our own personal and family histories, health, longevity etc. Based on that, he’s going to be around longer than me if left to our own devices. However, I also do love him and I don’t see my life as being any more valuable than his.

@seekingwolf I think a lot of people over the history of the human race have died for love.

@Bellatrix Absolutely. I think most people who say they’d die for their partner for romantic and not practical or utilitarian reasons (ie children, one of you already has a terminal illness, existing health issues, one of you is a doctor or something) would not actually do it in real life.

@Plucky Millions of people have also done hard drugs, had unplanned pregnancies, made bad rash choices, etc. Just because many people have done something does not mean that it’s a good thing to do for yourself.

How do you know that? You can’t know that anymore than I can know you won’t. Consequently, I wouldn’t presume to tell you that you wouldn’t behave in a particular fashion.

There was a young man here recently whose girlfriend jumped off a cruise liner and he followed her in to save her. They both died because, from what people can tell, his instinctive reaction was to save her.

You don’t know what you will do in such a situation anymore than I do. Furthermore, we individually know more about our own history, relationships and attitudes than anyone here. You also don’t know what scenario people imagined when thinking of this question.

The question wasn’t whether it’s a good thing or the right thing, it was about the choice we think we would make.

@seekingwolf I know… that was not my point. I was simply saying people do and have done it. It’s not unheard of. I’m not saying it’s good or bad.

Her. I don’t like life that much anyway.

It’s pretty close because I do not believe life holds much if any joy for him and for complex reasons never could. I , on the other hand, feel I have the great physical health and hope for the future to create a new, happy life for myself. I can see myself pursuing activities I’m interested in, making new friends, spending more time with family==things that don’t interest him. It’s really very sad; I’m sorry for him but we have different values and interests. I have enthusiasm and he doesn’t. His interests in both activities and food preferences are narrow to the extreme. And, if he only got to see his family ever five years I think he could live with that. He could be depressed; hard to tell.

@seekingwolf If it was for reasons such as children, I might consider it (i.e. if my children for some reason were better with my partner or if he was a better care-giver).

@sparrowfeed I do not have children (nor do I really want them) but to me, I think they are a vital part of the choice, if the choice had to be made. One partner may really feel that the other is not cut out to be a single parent.

I think as the mother I’d want to ensure my children stayed with me, but then I don’t know how I’d be or whether my parent might be better as the father because I don’t have kids yet.