How should we talk to those who are having thoughts about and have made attempts to commit suicide?

Frankly, I always refer them to a mental illness suicide line or depression line because they are trained on how to deal with these things as a profession.

Get them to talk to a professional asap.

I think people should be less ignorant. I understand hearing that someone wants to die could be hard, but to say stuff like, “we all have bad days, get over it” or “pull yourself together” is not what they want to hear. Think of the person that wants to die, how do you think that person is feeling? They are under such incredible emotional pain.
It’s not just the same for mental illness, it can be the same for a lot of things. If you don’t understand, don’t say anything.

Maaaan, I would never think of saying “pull yourself together” or “get over it” to someone who told me they were suicidal. I would tell them, “I’ve been there myself and I know what it’s like, but I’m not equipped to help you.” And then I would tell them to call their therapist or a suicide hotline immediately.

But I’m not sure how we can create better support systems in our communities. Seems to me that the people most likely to attempt or commit suicide are those who have no support system, who feel that “the system” exists to exclude and fuck over people like them. Trans people, kids living on the street, and prostitutes are the first groups to come to my mind. And these groups have very high rates of mental illness as well. Making general mental health and social services services more accessible and empathetic to such people would be a big first step. Trans women routinely get thrown out of women’s shelters because of ignorance and hatred, for instance.

@KNOWITALL & @mattbrowne Good strategy for the short term. I worded the OP in a rush and did a poor job in my haste. I was really most interested in Jon’s thoughts about providing a long-term support network that can help those who have failed at a first attempt. They are 38 times more likely than the general population to try again, and to succeed on the second attempt.

@Headhurts Excellent answer. How true.

@bookish1 Great answer. Bit by bit we are getting there.

@ETpro – Long-term support? Medication. Therapy.

Then after a successful recovery you could use the principles of positive psychology to stay healthy. Apply https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Seligman#PERMA for example.

I have been trained to do therapy with people who are depressed or suicidal. I find it hard to think about this subject as a lay person. Treating people with respect and avoiding anything that minimizes or denies their experience or pain is essential. Obviously refering them to a profession in their area is a valuable thing to do. If you know them well and can point out how valuable and important they are to people in their lives can help support their feelings of self-worth. If you truly care about them, by all means say so and tell them why you feel that way. Depression is know to be self-limiting and that alone is a reason to have hope. Even when people are at their worst, it is possible to be supportive and respectful to what they are going through.

@Dr_Lawrence: What do you mean that depression is self-limiting?

@mattbrowne Long-term support? Medication. Therapy. I would think all that and more. I’m looking for crowdsourced answers here, not seeking to guide the development of a list of ideas that are known to work. It’s not my area of expertise.

@Dr_Lawrence Thanks. Your suggestions seem excellent.

@bookish1 I’m looking forward to the answer to that as well. I’m sure the doc knows what he’s talking about, but I don’t, and would appreciate an explanation.

@ETpro – Crowdsourced answers are sometimes better and sometimes they are not. In the case of long-term prevention of suicide expertsourced answers are better in my opinion. We need to rely on specialized doctors and therapists. Human relationships are very important, but sometimes even this doesn’t help. A good example is Germany’s former goalgetter of our national soccer team. His wife and close friend tried everything. The crowd was unable to help. Even the experts were ultimately unable to help. Severe depression can sometimes a deadly disease.

@mattbrowne Sorry for not being clearer. By crowdsourced answers I means here, not in the lives of suicide victims. I meant that I didn’t wish to influence what sort of answers fellow Jellies give by my own bias, picking on some while extolling others.

Thanks for the clarification, @ETpro !

A couple of nights at a 5 star hotel and free breakfast, lunch and dinner, and a paid vacation, so people can relax and have time to deal with personal problems, with a 24/7 counselors, and friends… until they want to return to normal life.

Episodes of depression don’t last forever. Even without treatment, patients do eventually feel better. While the length of episodes vary, they do end. That does not mean that getting help is not important. We don’t get refunds for months of misery and hopelessness. Treatment, particularly cognitive therapy approaches tend to shorten episodes and teach patients how to prevent or control future episodes.

Please excuse any typing errors, I am recovering from cataract surgery and won’t get proper glasses until the end of August.