Is it time for the U. S. to allow multiple spouses?

Go for it. I have no problem with it.

Does this mean multiple marriage benefits/tax credits?

I don’t see why this couldn’t happen. Well actually I know why, it’s because the US is a Christian country, and multiple spouses is not a Christian thing. Religion has lost quite a lot of its importance in modern society, but it still has enough of it to be influential in some things.

But the thing is, I don’t even understand why the fuck the government has to have any kind of a goddamn say in what two adults do together.
As far as polygamy leading to horribly disastrous things, and that being a reason why it cannot be done, well…it’s not like monogamy can’t lead to horribly disastrous things. Also, gay weddings. Just get it done already, what’s the freaking big deal about people loving each other, anyway?

Marriage doesn’t work for most people, why would it be any different for multiple spouses or for gay couples? Just give half your shit away and you get the full marriage experience…..

Upon death, would your social security benefits be split among the spouses?

I am all for decriminilizing it, but not sure if I am ready to say we are ready to make laws surrounding property rights and everything else that comes with marriage right now. Which spouse decides when to pull the plug? Are all spouses equally married? If there are three wives and one husband and a wife dies, does her property go to the remaining other three people equally? Civil marriage is a practical concept, not an emptional one.

What’s the point, really?
There’s no constraint to several consenting people living together.
A legal partnership or corporation can be set up to define asset sharing among a group.

The divorce lawyers would love this.

@Adirondackwannabe : Stole the words right out of my mouth!
In terms of civil liberties and the right to self-determination, I am all for this, but I do not think it’s likely on a national scale anytime soon. But who knows, maybe it has a better chance as long as everyone involved is straight…

No.

To each his own I guess. It isn’t something that I would ever participate in. I’m not sharing my man with anybody.
The few times I’ve watched Sister Wives I had a lot of trouble wrapping my brain around the whole concept.
This may be stupid thinking on my part, but I believe that if you truly love your SO, there isn’t room in your heart to love another man or woman.

@Katniss No, you’ve got it down just right. If I’m really into my SO there’s not enough of me left over to share with someone else.

@Katniss & @Adirondackwannabe: It’s not for everyone, but I have seen polyamory work. Love does not have to be a zero-sum situation.

@bookish1 I agree. Different strokes for different folks. It just doesn’t fit me. But it’s a mostly free world so I wouldn’t object to others trying it.

@Adirondackwannabe Thank you :0)
I can’t even imagine living that kind of lifestyle. I tend to be a little jealous, so it would never work. lol

@bookish1 I’m sure that it does work for some people. I just believe that marriage should between 2 people, not 3 or 4 or 5. That’s just me though.

@Adirondackwannabe : For sure. I don’t think I’m ‘wired’ that way like some claim to be. I’m more comfortable with monogamy, but I also appreciate the insight from polyamory that a relationship should be up for negotiation rather than proceeding by unspoken rules.

Our model of romantic love enshrined in a monogamous relationship and leading to a nuclear family is, in the span of human history, a very recent cultural creation, by the way. If we grew up in a society that allowed men to take multiple wives, or emphasized marriage as an economic institution rather than a romantic one, we might scoff at someone’s foolish dream of finding their one true love.

So I could be married to 2–3 nagging wives?

No thanks.

Let’s marry our pets too, while we’re at it.

Sick, sick, sick.

Wasn’t there a question here about fathers marrying their daughters or brothers and sisters marrying?

You mean a woman with multiple husbands? Bring it on as long as they cook.

No. I refuse to share my husband. And my husband doesn’t want to share me. He’s already rejected the idea of a three-way several times.

That being said, if I could find us an ugly wife who had no desire to bed my husband, enjoyed doing laundry, and didn’t mind cooking three nights a week, I might reconsider.

I find it interesting that a question about a allowing 3+ spouses to marry has invoked so many responses that focus on whether or not we would want to enter into such an arrangement. I wonder if this same phenomenon has played a role in the entire “debate” about same sex marriage.

@tom_g Yes, same sex marriage and interracial marriage as well.

^^ yep. Let’s try this…

Should the US allow people to eat Brussels sprouts? If your response is to try to determine if you like Brussels sprouts, you’re doing it wrong.

But I don’t want any religious group (for who brussel sprouts may equate to the devil incarnate) to tell ME that I cannot have brussel sprouts.

Do the children of these multiple marriages have a say?
Wonder about that.
Interesting to hear from the childrens point of view on that topic.

@Inspired_2write: “Do the children of these multiple marriages have a say?”

Do any children have any say about who their parents are? I’m not entirely sure this question is relevant to this discussion. Where were you going with this?

I gave the answer I did originally, because I didn’t want to ruffle any feathers, but since it doesn’t seem satisfying to some folks, here goes: it all boils down to greed, which is a favorite American pastime. People want as much as they can get, as often as they can get it.

Why do you need more than one spouse? You don’t. If you can’t be satisfied with a commitment to one person, then there’s something lacking emotionally. If you can’t be content sharing your love and intimacy with the person you’ve committed yourself to, then you have greed issues, or you’re just unsatisfied with that person in general, and need to move on.

@WillWorkForChocolate Exactly! Agree 100%. Although I did get quite a laugh out of your first response.

To me it would feel like I was being cheated on if my husband were to have multiple wives. I’m all for monogamy.
Polygamy seems like something a narcissist would enjoy.

Sure. Marriage is a civil institution. A civil contract does not have to be between only two people. And only PEOPLE can enter into civil contracts.

Why do people immediately jump to animals when talking about alternate forms of marriage? Such a ridiculous argument.

@tinyfaery Why do people immediately jump to animals when talking about alternate forms of marriage? Such a ridiculous argument.

I don’t understand it myself, frankly.

@Nullo Why do people say that. Marriage is between two people who sign on the dotted line. Animals cannot go into contract with each other or with a human being. It would be better to explain why you are actually against mutliple spouses.

Or, to explain what animals have to do with multiple spouse relationships. What is the relation?

I doubt America is ready for this one just yet, but I can imagine a day where we will be. It will be a lot more complex than legalizing same-sex marriage between two people, for the reasons @JLeslie listed in her first response.

For the record, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with people who are poly. So long as everyone in the relationship agrees and everyone is happy, why is there anything wrong with it?

I wonder in countries where polygamy is legal, I assume there are countries it is legal, what the laws are like? I have a feeling in those countries the female spouse is not as protected to begin with whether it is just one wife or multiple. I assume in most countries where it is legal it is only legal for a man to have multiple wives, although I know a few (probably very few) cultures have a custom of multiple men for one woman. I guess there is also the posibility of more than one woman and one man in a marriage with polygamy.

Fact from fiction, truth from diction. If we as a nation are already deviating so far from what traditional marriage is, or from Biblical teachings, polygamy is just as equal as same-sex marriages. Polygamy has been accepted and with mankind thousands of years before same-sex marriages, they who want to do it just lack political clout, nothing more. How social security, adoption, property arrangements, etc will be handled should be no factor in if they should be allowed to marry; you give it to same-sex couples, give it to everyone else, even if they are cousins.

@Hypocrisy_Central Civil marriage is all about money, property rights, and legal responsibilities.

For the life of me, I can’t understand why you would want more than one wife or husband! I think that a law that allows only two people to legally marry is the best we can do. I don’t care if a person wants multiple spouses, I just don’t think that all of the spouses should have the same financial and legal privileges. By the way, I don’t care if the two people are of the same of different sex. Things get complicated enough with only two people and their children involved. Why make more laws?

Let’s screw our pets while marrying multiple gay interracial partners. Who are related to each other.

When there are equal rights for men and women (unlike in Islam) for this and if the previous spouses agree to add a new spouse.

I don’t think that having multiple wives (for men) or having multiple husbands (for women) will work. It dilutes the “pair bonding” aspect of marriage. It would lead to jealousy & anger, both of which are destructive to any relationship. It would raise tremendous “trust” issues. Of course, I have no idea of what our future holds… and this could become an accepted practice in the future – but I do not recommend it.

The plural of MOUSE is MICE

Shouldn’t the plural of SPOUSE be SPICE ?

@elbanditoroso Yes, it would definitely add spice to the relationship.

@JLeslie @Hypocrisy_Central Civil marriage is all about money, property rights, and legal responsibilities. It goes a little deeper than that, wouldn’t you say? If it were just that, people would not chose someone they were attracted to but someone who was better for the bottom-line, and gays would be happy with the nomenclature of “civil union”, or “domestic partnership” instead of fighting for the title of marriage as hard as they do.

Marriage is a civil contract. You have to file papers or your ceremony will not be recognized. Just get married in a church and don’t fill out state paperwork and then see what happens.

We’ve been through this at least 10 times. Stop playing ignorant. You’ve heard all of the arguments.

@tom G
I meant when the children get older.
I wonder what they think of there multipe parents?

@Hypocrisy_Central It goes deeper than that because people mush together civil marriage and religious/emotional marriage in their minds. In America especially we don’t separate the two. But, the government and the law don’t care if I love my husband, the job of the civil marriage is to protect surviving spouses when one dies, and to have two parents legally responsible for the child born in wedlock, and to guarantee the spouse gets half of the winning lottery ticket. The law cannot insist two people love each other, but it can enforce laws about money and property and legal responsibilities of children inside of the marriage (that has changed some now with DNA testing).

When young people get married, civil marriage, they sign on the dotted line basically to a contract they have never read. They get certain rights while they are married, and if they ever divorce they have to follow the law for divorce in that state. If they move to a different state they have to follow the marriage laws of that state, even though they never agreed or signed that particular contract. It’s very strange actually.