Why is it so hard for people to admit they are even a little vain?

I’m so vain I thought this question was about me, bout me, bout me…probably.

“Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.”
—-Garrison Keillor—

I’m vain for home. I have a very nice house and I look my absolute best while I am in it.
I am not vain at all outside it. I just tie my hair back when I leave home, I don’t brush it or wear make up.

Vanity is excessive pride or concern over one’s personal appearance and/or achievements. It is not just any amount of concern for how one looks. As such, your question rests on a basic misunderstanding of the English language.

I’m too good to be vain.

vain
/vān/
Adjective
Having or showing an excessively high opinion of one’s appearance, abilities, or worth.

I think most people don’t admit to their excesses, but I don’t think that most people are excessive when it comes to appearance. There’s a happy medium in there, and some people could do more, some could get away with less. I wouldn’t admit to being vain, because I probably fall toward the side of “could do more.”

I bet you would not have a green dishwasher, a red stove top, stainless steel fridge, Gray counter tops and pink or peach walls in your kitchen, even if functionally it could still cook a three course meal.

I would have absolutely NO problem with that. But that doesn’t mean I’m not vain.

Wanting an aesthetically appealing abode is not vanity, either. When I was much poorer, I certainly made due with mismatched appliances and tableware. Now I live more comfortably, and we have stuff that matches. Having a home environment in which you feel comfortable does have a psychological impact on stress levels. I do know people, however, who redo their whole home every five years to the latest trends – that is more vanity.

Because you confuse vanity with self-respect. And getting oneself presentable before going out in the world is a matter of respect of the places one is going. Go to work without getting dressed up? That’s more self focused than getting dressed up.

So, @Hypocrisy_Central it’s hard because most people are really not vain the way you are.

@SavoirFaire As such, your question rests on a basic misunderstanding of the English language. Which is why a lowered the question to the more often usage of vain. People generally have difficulty in knowing what is vain, less looking it up in Webster’s, as much as they have trouble deciphering what “shallow” is. Rather than waste time trying to educate exactly what each really were (not that anyone would accept it and still argue it was different), I took the lower road and went with common usage.

@zenvelo Because you confuse vanity with self-respect. And getting oneself presentable before going out in the world is a matter of respect of the places one is going. Thanks for enlightening me on the fact that self respect came from clothes. Guess those proud people who barely have any clothes or worse, clothes from a thrift store because they can’t afford to go elsewhere, say Macys or Saks like you maybe, should feel ashamed of themselves. Having self-respect should be going to work in clothes that were clean, stain free, and fit well; regardless of if it were modern fashion, designer or even pressed. Looking presentable alludes to having the approval of others. One can be dressed in a clown suit and still have self-respect.

So, @Hypocrisy_Central it’s hard because most people are really not vain the way you are. I think you better check your powers of clairvoyance, it seemed to be off a bit.

What @SavoirFaire said. Also, I’m quite shocked you managed to keep yourself from mentioning fat people in this particular question. It’s not too late, though! And let’s not mix up vanity and being incredibly shallow. I have no clue if you’re vain, but the other is quite clear. Looks do matter. They just seem to matter more to you than most, and you’re completely in denial about it, which can be quite frustrating.

@Hypocrisy_Central Your response is basically an admission that your question is fundamentally mistaken hidden under a bunch of words trying to cover up the mistake. Are you so vain that you cannot simply admit the fact that you were wrong? If you are telling the truth, after all, then you could have easily asked the question this way: “Why is it so hard for people to admit that they care how they look?” No “difficult” words. No need to educate anyone.

@SavoirFaire Are you so vain that you cannot simply admit the fact that you were wrong? If you are telling the truth, after all, then you could have easily asked the question this way: “Why is it so hard for people to admit that they care how they look?” I will give you that in the sense I should have worded it differently even if some got their panties in a bunch. I should have said “Why should anyone care if someone else don’t like the way people with too many tattoos, too much weight, too many piercings, etc, look and would never have a relationship with such people?” However, that would cause a lot of people to toss around the word “shallow” when it is all about what is appealing to the eye, regardless of what people say about “I would drive any care so long as it were mechanically sound, etc”, which is a lie; given the choice of a mechanically sound 12yr old car with fading paint or some shinny vehicle 4yr old with suspect mechanics, people would roll the die on the newer vehicle because it looked better. Thanks, next time will just ask it in a way to get right into someone’s kitchen, be damned if they feel themselves in the question or not.

^^^ Admitting to any vulnerability, such as a consistent misuse of the language, or bizarre attention to irrelevant details, is a challenge, isn’t it?

@gailcalled I’d give you two GA’s if I could.

@Hypocrisy_Central I never said that the clothes you wear measure your worth or self esteem. But have you ever noticed that one of the first things that happens when a homeless person is being helped is that they get cleaned up and into clean clothes? It does one a great good to be clean and presentable.

To quote Stevie Wonder: Her clothes are old but never are they dirty.

Hang out at Walmart . You will see a lot of people who don’t care how they look.

He walked into the party like he was walkin’ onto a yacht, his hat strategically dipped below one eye, his scarf it was apricot.
He had one eye in the mirror as he watched himself gavot, and all the girls dreamed they’d be his partner, they’d be his partner…..your’re so vaiiiiin you probably think I’m typing this for you….. lololol

There are different types of vain. An example would be the person who enters a relationship with someone who is an ass and then thinks they can change that person for the better. I always considered such a person to be vain and others think they are saints or a glutton for punishment with low self esteem. Most are a glutton for punishment with low self esteem is the problem but some times I see highly intelligent people with good self esteem who enter a bad relationship. They see this person who needs fixing and think that they are the person for the job. Of course it has to do with ego, and ego is vanities best friend.

@Hypocrisy_Central So I guess the answer is yes, you really are too vain to admit to a mistake.

Let’s take a look at your suggested alternative title: “Why should anyone care if someone else don’t like the way people with too many tattoos, too much weight, too many piercings, etc, look and would never have a relationship with such people?” Leaving aside the various grammatical errors, it is clear that this is in no way an improvement over your already ill-chosen title. It is a loaded question, so packed with judgment that it barely counts as a real question. Moreover, it reveals the fact that you have no interest in honest dialogue. It’s sad, really, but this community has learned not to expect any better from you.

I don’t consider myself vain. Yes, I wear makeup when I leave the house (usually) and I make sure my clothes are clean. That doesn’t mean I’m vain. I just feel better about myself when I look nice.

They are perfect. Why would they admit to a flaw?

Ego is tricky, takes a really self aware person to catch the trickery within.
Most never get there and even if you do, good luck finding others that have done enough work to be able to recognize ego at it’s finest. My dilemma in all relationships these days. haha

I’m vain, every now and then, I guess, but I’d never admit it.

Why? Because I don’t think I am so overly obsessed with myself that I should be considered a vain person and the problem is that admitting you’re vain will taint you for life with anyone asking.

@Hypocrisy_Central “Why is it so hard for people to admit they are even a little vain?”

It is a form of resentment called Ressentiment and ressentiment comes from reactiveness.