How do I stop having these nightmares?

I would wonder if you had PTSD post traumatic stress disorder.

Practice dream control. This may sound out-there, but it worked for me.

Find a small item like a stone or marble that fits comfortably in your hand. Hold onto it for a while before you fall asleep and tell yourself that if you feel it, you are dreaming.

You’ll be surprised at how aware you can be while you’re asleep. When you realize you feel that object, your mind will go into a mode almost like a command prompt. You can redirect your dream.

I used this technique to get over a recurring nightmare years ago. Now, I can access that mindset without a totem if I’m in a disturbing dream. Rewind, rewrite, make it better without coming fully awake.

(Yes, a bonus is that it makes you better able to remember dreams also.)

I’m a little confused, @Blueroses.

if you feel it, you are dreaming.

If you feel it, aren’t you awake?

It seems to me the bigger problem is that you are suffering anxiety and stress because of the events of 9/11 and the loss of your friend. Are you seeing a counsellor? Can you if you aren’t?

My own experience with dreams, and I’ve never had anything so stressful as this, is that if I can identify why I’m dreaming I can take the power out of the problem. So you’ve lost your friend and you’re obviously feeling vulnerable. Perhaps if you can talk to someone you trust (a counsellor or trusted friend or family member) and confront these feelings, maybe the dreams will dissipate. Even wake up and write down what happened in the dreams. I just think if you can defuse the fear, the dreams may go away.

I do think counselling is going to be your best option. PSTD, as @talljasperman suggested seems possible for the 9/11 stuff.

@Jeruba you are not quite awake but your mind is aware of the physical thing you are holding. It makes your dreaming self aware of your real world. Try it.

I am a great sleeper and, fortunately, do not have the problems you mention. But I have noticed a perfect correlation between me having an occasional bad dream and eating cheese before bed. If I eat a piece of cheese within 30 minutes of going to bed I will absolutely have a bad dream. I do not eat anything within 2 hours of bed time.

Are you eating something before you go to sleep? Are you midnight snacking? Try to cut it out and see if it makes a difference. This might not solve your problem but it is an easy, free experiment to run. You have nothing to lose.

Possibly like with all emotional events it is best to talk it out. Some people cannot afford therapy so a trusted friend might listen? Dreams are said to be suppressed feelings and fears, so if they are released (so the theory goes) they should stop bugging you in your sleep. Because it is always the same theme ‘sudden loss’ that is obviously the fear you are holding onto. The more you talk about it the less volume it carries in your head.

Welcome to Fluther!

Add mine to the recommendation for counseling. Kids don’t always manifest PTSD in obvious ways, and sometimes things don’t come out until adulthood. The sudden, tragic loss of your friend brought it all to the surface. I also recommend counseling to work through it.

I had suppressed the emotional impact of being molested as a child, and it burst to the surface in a dream when I was in my late 20s. I don’t know what triggered the dream. But this, and other dream experiences have shown me to respect those dreams that bring strong emotion… they are calling your attention to something that needs to be addressed. I had developed lucid dreaming skills before this in my scary (Freddy Kruger chasing me) dreams, and always managed to escape. But this one dream made me realize that it was my perpetrator I was running from.

In the meantime, doing some journalling about these feelings can help. You have grief at the loss of your friend and any others you might have known who were lost on 9/11; and you have grief for the loss of your childhood innocence all those years ago. Most of us in this part of the world don’t have to process the fact that the world isn’t safe and we have little control until we are older.

I also suggest trying meditation and learning how to calm and quiet your mind and body. An evening workout, followed by stretching and a shower can help you sleep better, also.

There is a dangerous interaction between the medications you are taking.
http://www.drugs.com/drug-interactions/vyvanse-with-zoloft-1475-2533-2057-1348.html
One side effect is “racing thoughts”, it seems to me that fits what you are describing here. You should talk with your doctor as soon as possible about your symptoms and the possibility of how these two medications taken together could be causing this. Good luck.

First of all welcome to Fluther. :) I am very sorry that you went through that as a child. I also think it may be PTSD related. I’m not a doctor but I’m giving my opinion.

I think that maybe the death of your friend is another tragedy that you were sensitive to so now you’re body is reacting and almost adding fuel to the fire or bringing up emotions that maybe you thought you had buried deep down inside or even forgot and playing them out in your dreams. Seeing that you have anxiety already it’s not all that uncommon that you would be more sensitive to any more tragedy that comes into your life.

I think you need to seek other professional help though just to be certain.

@Blueroses and @Jeruba it sound like that movie Inception the Leonardo Di Capro in it.
Well my theory may be that your problem and issues is very deeply rooted and that it’s trying to service. You some therapy.

Dreams are a natural way for the body and mind to accept the reality of life.
One day we will all die, some before there time others after a long life.
Everyone is fated to pass when there time comes and when they had learned all there is in this life.
Of course your are experiencing anxiety as any one of us would should we have a loved one pass suddenly.
Understanding that you did the most that you could do for him when he was alive and that nothing more could had been done will soften the shock somewhat I hope.
We can do what we can,when we can and nothing more is expected.
At least he had a great friend in you to love and support him when he lived his life.
Grief period is different for everyone. This is a necessary process that you are working through. Try to love yourself as much as you loved him.You owe him that much.
Just think what he would be saying if it was you in his place?
He would want you to live a fulling life too.

@antimatter I was afraid it would sound like the movie, and I didn’t want to reference it.

The idea and technique has been around for a long time.