Are you comfortable asking your spouse/s.o. for help?

I don’t have a spouse, but most certainly have a few close friends of the opposite sex that can almost be considered a spouse to me by the way they act. No matter how girly I can get, if I need to ask them for help or emotional support, they tell me they’re there for me but I don’t believe them because I think that they won’t care, or don’t wanna get all girly and emotional on me. Actually, what surprised me, was the fact that they knew me so well that they could tell if I needed help or emotional support. I’m moreso uncomfortable thinking they won’t care than actually asking for help, so I try to refrain from asking them for anything, but they help anyways.

My ex-wife was like that – she expected me to read her mind, and one of the reasons we divorced was that (at one point in our marriage) I didn’t read it properly. Of course, if she had come out and said what the wanted, I could have dealt with the issue right then and there.

But that’s ancient history.

My general view is that if you want something (understanding, love, caresses, whatever..) you have to say so. It’s unreasonable to expect that someone can read your thoughts.

I am usually the mind reader and have a good to excellent sense of situational awareness. Not everyone is so equipped.

(In case anyone is wondering, the answer is “Yes”, I would like to have sex right now.)

@LuckyGuy – heck of an offer, but no thanks.

Yes, I have no trouble speaking up. In fact, last night I was feeling very groggy, so I called my grandson on his cell phone as asked him to come out of his room down the hall and help me.

Hubby is out of town this week.

I sort of thought that was the point (being able to ask for help, that is)...

@elbanditoroso No offense taken. I was just answering in case someone was having trouble mindreading through their keyboard. Some connections are better than others.

Yeah, @bookish1 more or less took the words out of my mouth, that’s what husbands/wives/life partners do, assuming you’re in a healthy relationship that is.

My husband told me to speak up and so I do, we help eachother with everything and yet play to our strengths.

Many thanks, all! Hoping to hear from more folks…

I am very comfortable with asking my partner for help. He, on the other hand, requires me to be a mind-reader and it bugs the hell out of me.

I don’t have any problem asking my husband for help. We’re partners. He’s my best friend. Sometimes I think he’s too ‘there’ for me. He often is a mind-reader. He knows he can ask me for help any time he needs it.

I am comfortable asking him for help unless it’s financial help. He will help me with absolutely anything if he can, including money when things get tight but I really hate asking for it. Also, it annoys me that he won’t accept money back if I have borrowed from him so I feel I can never really repay him financially. He has never made me feel like I was in “his debt” and he thinks it’s no big deal but, for me, it is.

Right @ucme, I would not want to be in a long term relationship that did not feel mutual! Otherwise, what are you doing….?!

I’m very comfortable asking my husband for help, but I think he’s less comfortable about asking me (when it’s for emotional support, anyway.) He’s kind of an old school “manly man” with modern attitudes except when it comes to how he is ‘supposed to be’.