Who is more outrageous, the parents or the individuals wanting to call CPS?

Shoot, where to start with this one?

The parents seem to have abdicated any parental responsibility with “Well, she buys her own clothes…” They’re not being parents. This girl needs some better guidance and boundaries than she is getting from them. So, yeah, the parents are out to lunch here.

While I don’t agree with most “public decency” laws, at least to the extent that they mandate certain articles of clothing – I think nudity should be perfectly acceptable in most private and semi-private settings, and a condo swimming pool fits that bill – if the state or jurisdiction has such laws, then it’s not completely inappropriate to request that they be upheld. So a call to police, if the girl won’t comply with local requirements on her own and the parents won’t mandate it, should be acceptable.

I can’t see this as a matter for CPS, however, unless the girl is more directly “at risk”, and a racy swimsuit doesn’t rise to that level of behavior that mandates the long arm of the law to “look after” her. She’d be very likely in a whole lot more trouble in many foster family situations, or institutionalized, if it came to that.

More overkill from some Mrs. Grundy type who can’t stand to be “offended” by someone else’s refusal to toe her line. Honestly, sometimes at this time of year I wonder why on Earth we celebrate such a thing as “Independence Day” any more.

Inappropriate? Yes.
Poor parenting? Probably.
Invitation to exploit or sexually assault her? No.

@CWOTUS ..if the state or jurisdiction has such laws, then it’s not completely inappropriate to request that they be upheld. I am no lawyer but I believe the penal code around her just states you have to be clothed. I do not think there is any distinction on how transparent the clothes will become when wet, IE white cotton t-shirt, silk blouse, a Lycra bikini, etc. So, technically the girl would be within the rules of the condo and the local laws, just not in some people’s mind.

No to CPS that is overkill. If it’s community pool there must be a decency law?! A minor half nude is a concern.

tI should come down to what the management of the apartment will allow, because it is a private business, not a public place.

The condo could amend the rules. As far as I am aware it usually takes three calls to even warrent CPS to investigate.

Which essentially means talking to the parents and or the child. Then giving the child a business card in case if they need it. Assuming that child is past toddler age.

It is inappropriate for our society and the child obviously wants attention. What kind of attention… is more dependent on the child itself. It seems to me a cry for action. Some one should take action… but if the parents aren’t doing their job unless she can find a suitable role model she is almost certainly screwed.

I would just like to say that the CPS are a bunch of Nazi’s who justify their own existence by destroying families (not everyone is guilty of the evil shit they are supposed to stop), and thanks for that link!

Calling CPS is going too far. If the condo docs don’t have a previsions about how covered a bathing suit must be, then they should go ahead and write an amendment and take a vote. If they have not talked directly to the teen I would. I would tell her she is making other people very uncomfortable and it is not appropriate.

@YARNLADY I think it possibly might fall under public, as in she would have to follow the laws of decent exposure, since it is a common area. I’m not sure honestly, but it is possible. There is some grey area for public vs. private.

@KNOWITALL A minor half nude is a concern. In what context are you using ”half nude”, since some use the term to convey covering that only covers 10% of the body or less, IE and extreme Rio, Tonga, or Slingshot bikini. Or are you referring to her being covered below the waist but not above it, being virtually topless?

@fluthernutter @Unbroken *Poor parenting? Probably. That thought could be a rather broad stroke. Playing devil’s advocate here a moment, if she was fully clothed but was sexing it up every other day with guys from her class would that be poor parenting? If she did that everyday and ended up knocked up, then she would have poor parents but not before? What if she was considered a prude by her peers because she would never let a boy between her and her Haines Her Ways but was a teen alcoholic, who was hardly ever 100% sober, would that be poor parenting? There are so many standards that people would agree is poor parenting, to say someone is a poor parent has always left me being accused of something.

..but if the parents aren’t doing their job… If they provide her s safe place to sleep, food, access to an education, a way for clean clothes are they not doing their job (as far as the government says)?

@Hypocrisy_Central It’s not the actual item of clothing that might be indicative of poor parenting. It’s the lack of concern or involvement.

If they had said:
“We’ve raised a responsible child and trust her to make her own decisions about her clothing choices.” That’s cool.

Earning your own money may indicate fiscal responsibility, but not necessarily in other areas.

Their remark seems nonchalant and uninvolved.

To answer your actual response, I’d have to ask a few questions of my own. Are the parents aware that the hypothetical kid is sexually-active? Have they done their best to raise and educate her about sex in a healthy, age-appropriate environment?

Good parenting isn’t about raising nuns. It’s about giving them the best odds to make the best decisions.

@HypocrisyCentral Most lady suits cover both nipples, front & back genitals. Literally her top half was bared.

@KNOWITALL @HypocrisyCentral Most lady suits cover both nipples, front & back genitals. Literally her top half was bared. I have seen some that barely covered the labia majora, much less the labia minora but considered legal because the vaginal orifice in not visible. In this case we are talking covered but transparent, which is not as extreme as those stick-on strapless bikinis that resemble decals than an actual bikini, but even if 97% of the breast is seen, so long as there is no naked nipple, it is not indecent. In this case there is less naked breast exposed just that veiled nipple can be seen once the suit gets wet. To many that is not taken as bare or nude, what can be seen and contemplated as breast notwithstanding.

@HypocrisyCentral That behavoir you describe would also be red flag material.

The truth is our current culture frowns upon displays such as these. If she didn’t pick that up from her family or outside influences something is wrong. She has bad influences or alternatively she is deliberately doing it to attract attention. What type of attention would depend on the individual. More information required.

Not sure what you meant by your last statement. But all those behavoirs are signs of an unhealthy person. Given the age of the example the parents and or guardians are the most significant people in shaping the childs environment up to that point.

If behavoir continues rather then going through phases or being addressed. It is pure inattentiveness at the least.

@Unbroken The truth is our current culture frowns upon displays such as these. Really?” Have you watch music videos, checked out women magazines near the checkout stand of most food stores, the ads in most fashion type magazines or women magazines? One would seem to think society was telling young girls to do those things to be accepted and attractive. I would guess, since I don’t wear bikinis women who do, do so for various reason, less tan lines, comfort, and yes, even to be noticed; why were a Rio or Tonga bikini if you don’t expect to catch the eyes of others. Maybe the parents are afraid to do more to curb the girl’s appetite in swimwear because the girl would rebel, or turn away from them, and not listen; who knows?

But all those behavoirs are signs of an unhealthy person. To passively lounge about in a bikini that even if not transparent when wet, but very dinky? How many females do that? Maybe many? Would it be less disturbing if she were older and lifting her top on Spring Break? If someone gets uneasy because she is laying about in a sheer bikini, a dinky one at that, is the problem hers or those who see her and don’t like it? Just asking…….

@Hypocrisy_Central I am not saying its not hypocritical. However this phenomena is referred to as the Madonna/virgin image. Women are supposed to be both and we are also supposed to know when to be those things.
Because sex sells it is included in everything. The objectification is visually stimulating in visually pumped up atmosphere. Also taboo so read interesting and tempting.

Yet so much of our culture still clings to shreds of Christainty and hold moral values similar. Central women figures were Mary the virgin mother, Eve but she was bad, Miraim and Naomi risking their lives to save a boy and a people. Rebecca and Leah loyal wives who just wanted to give their husband a ton of sons.

So the innate cultural upbringing is to be attractive but to toe the line. That line has gotten pushed farther toward the Madonna scale of things because of the advantage of looking good, how it makes them feel special and gets them farther then dressing like a school marm.

As to top lifting and such. That is a part of the growth process for some. They need to experiment. Not accept lines just because, figure out what they are comfortable, peer pressure, lowered inhibitions and young beautiful bodies. It’s like a recipe.

Most any trainable mammal will test the limits when they are invariably let off the leash. It is not to be regretted because we only live once. But to constantly behave in such a manner is unhealthy. If only because our culture condemns it and there are risks associated with it that are unneccessary. If everyone did it on the other hand it would be a different story.

As to parents compromising on that because they are fearful of pushing the daughter away… phish… Then they already have no control over her.

The parents as well as this girl do not know who is actually watching her and lurking in the bushes.
She does not realize the danger tht she is in.

I think her parents owe it to the girl to teach her safety & respect but sometimes it takes a village.

@Unbroken They need to experiment. Not accept lines just because, figure out what they are comfortable, peer pressure, lowered inhibitions and young beautiful bodies. Couldn’t some who are not offended by the young woman say those who would try to dictate what she should or should not wear are exerting a form of peer pressure on others to vilify her as they would?

@Inspired_2write The parents as well as this girl do not know who is actually watching her and lurking in the bushes. Given the pool is part of the condo facility I would suspect the parents trust their neighbors, as many do without thinking, and that access to the pool from those who do not live there, or know someone who lives there is somewhat policed or controlled.

@KNOWITALL I think her parents owe it to the girl to teach her safety & respect but sometimes it takes a village. Respect of herself, or respect of those who are offended at what she chooses to swim in? If towards the people who hate her swimwear choice, should she not wear what she want when there is the possibility of any of them using the pool, which could be at any time, and wear what makes those who oppose feel better?

Of course. We do not exist in a vacuum. Though we fear normal we create it. Then apply pressure to maintain it.

@Hypocrisy_Central To herself and others both. If the suit is transparent when wet, she is basically breaking the law by public indecency.

@KNOWITALL If the suit is transparent when wet, she is basically breaking the law by public indecency. If local law doesn’t specifically address it, IE, penal code 143 sec (e) states no outer garment worn in public or semi public shall have the ability to become transparent as to expose or appear to reasonably expose one’s private or sexual parts, etc, even though she maybe indecent to the majority, there would be no remedy to address it.

@Hypocrisy_Central Are you saying a see-through garment is different than being naked?

@JLeslie @Hypocrisy_Central Are you saying a see-through garment is different than being naked? If a garment is not made permanently sheer, or made that way purposely, if it becomes that way when wet, legally it may be different. Maybe in the same way that if you busted the window from a vehicle would not be vandalism or a malicious act if you did so to free a dog left in there on a smothering hot day and the owner could not be found; you did actually break the window, but there was a reason for it.

@Hypocrisy_Central Then I’ll stick with my original reply, which was create a law for the community pool so you can act on it with this girl. In my area, someone would just go tell the girl her bubbies were showing and embarass her to death, problem solved.