When were you the villain in another person's story?

The actual villain, or the perceived villain? I think this makes a difference. I’m sure I’ve been the perceived villain in many people’s stories. Few are those who enjoy having their beliefs or their arguments challenged, and I do it a lot. I’m fairly indiscriminate about it, too, and have been condemned for critiquing people on “my side” as often as I have been for being “too harsh” on the “other side.” But honestly, I find it difficult to consider myself the actual villain in those stories. Having our arguments challenged by people who understand how rational debate works is good for us. It makes smarter, better people, and I’m very glad to be part of a profession full of people who know how to put me in my place.

I actually find it quite ironic that philosophers will frequently be accused of being ivory tower types, but get attacked the moment they start practicing their discipline in public. At least we don’t get executed for it anymore.

I imagine some people will see that answer as sanctimonious, however, so here’s a less flattering instance. My first year of college, a friend of mine was fired from the student newspaper after discovering that two members of the student council had embezzled money from the treasury (money paid by students in the form of fees added to their tuition). His response was to sabotage both the newspaper and the student council proceedings.

I was his inside man, still working for the newspaper and helping him do all of these things. I even got anonymous articles published supporting his actions. We did all of this undercover using an office key he had stolen and changing the approved drafts just before they went out to the printers. The head of the newspaper—who was a faculty member—suspected both of us and did an awful lot of work to catch us at it before we quit. We cost the student newspaper quite a bit of money, and it almost went under.

On the one hand, we felt perfectly righteous about our actions as we were also trying to pursue and expose the embezzlement story at the same time. On the other hand, we almost destroyed an important part of several journalism majors’ education in an effort to get back at a bad faculty member (who knew about the story and wanted to cover it up because it implicated a friend of hers). There are better ways we could have gone about it, and maybe we would have had we not been 18 years old and so damn sure we were in the right.

I’m all for some good rebellion, but these days I prefer thought to precede action. It was a lesson learned for me, and I’m glad I learned it then rather than later.

I have one family member who blames all her problems on other people, including me.

Ever broken somebody’s heart? It feels like absolute fucking crap.

First story to come to mind…

When I was younger I had roommate once friend who got fired from his job shortly after signing a 6 month lease with me. So I let him stay and I ended up buying food a day at a time and storing it in my room cutting off cable mass overage charges and ranting about his messy drunk cooking.

I gave notice at the end of the lease but neglected to mention it to roomie for a week or so. No advance notice. I also took his kayak. It wasn’t worth near what he owed me. But it was the only thing of value he really had.

I see him everynow and again and resentment and sulkiness is what I read when I talk to him. He was most definitely the victim. I am sure it was my fault he is couch surfing to this day.

I always ride in on the white stallion, but end up leaving them tied to the tracks.

@Unbroken He was couch surfing when you were roomies. And the guy never grew up. How’s that anyone’s fault but his?

This question made me think hard. I guess I’d have to confess I never fucked anyone over in my life. I have been let down enough to know what a shitty feeling it is.

My brother thinks I ripped my sister off. I didn’t. We had a mutually beneficial agreement that was discussed and negotiated prior to what happened, happening. She’s admitted that’s the truth of the situation. I’m not sure she’s ever bothered to correct my brother’s misinterpretation.

I’m not an evil person, so I’d have to say never.

@jonsblond, I’m not an evil person either. I don’t think anyone else who answered in this thread is evil. The person who is the villain in one person’s story may be a hero from a different person’s perspective.

Nelson Mandela was a villain in some minds, he would hardly be described as such by any right minded person.

It’s very often about whose perspective you choose to view the situation from.

Every time I disagreed with an ex, I was the villain in his story.

@woodcutter Read Bella’s answer.

Also there were things I could have done to mitigate at least some of it. I was angry at him and didn’t bother to hide it after a handle of awkward attempts to communicate with him. A skill I am constantly trying to improve to this day.

I don’t really feel guilty about my actions though I could have been more above board. At the time I felt that by not kicking him out midwinter or not trying to, I was somehow morally superior.

Not a great attitude to have when trying to work with people to achieve a better ending.

Also the last paragraph I was being slightly facetious. But who knows. His life rapidly tailspinned downward during and after the event. Somehow that situation combined with his job loss and such was enough to lose his grip on a normal and socially acceptable life one that years later he hasn’t regained. That is pretty sad.

@Bellatrix I wasn’t going deep with my answer. Chill. It was just an answer and not all that serious. I’ve got enough serious shit in my life to deal with. I come here to try to forget about it.

I am chilled. I also can’t read your mind and therefore know what you meant. I’m sorry about your shit, but that doesn’t negate my right to respond to your posts.

yep. my bad. I’ll start putting disclaimers before my posts from now on. :)

I’ve become a real honest-to-goodness villain in my ex’s story… over 2 years after we separated. It’s almost amusing to see what it was he thinks I did…

I was defined as a fang-baring, gnashing jaws, razor sharp claws monster by two communities I lived in—mostly because I questioned or didn’t agree with the status quo.

I am the villain in my ex-wife’s narrative.

I was a villain in a relationship I had in college. She and I had hooked up a couple times, usually under the influence, but we never really dated. She was at a New Years Eve party, and we weren’t really socializing, but I tried hitting on her 18 year old baby sister, but no luck.

The older sister called me at about 3 in the morning, long after the party had ended, to rip me a new one over the phone.

I’m pretty sure one of my exes from college viewed me as a villain. I was the first person she had had sex with, and we had a very nice relationship for a couple of years. But I started to have sexual problems with her that I could not consciously understand at the time, and I broke up with her without a good explanation that she could understand. At least I did not fuck around behind her back, which is what some people have done to me when they no longer had the same feelings for me.

With my sociopath ex, well of course I was the villain in her story. Lesson learned.

I tried to stop my bff from marrying but she did and is now remarried. She was doing a couple friends & I wouldn’t lie.

@linguaphile ”...fang-baring, gnashing jaws, razor sharp claws monster…”?

very hot