Have you ever visited a town and not seen a close relative who lives there?

My sister lives in Davis CA, and I had friends who lived there also. But I would visit my friends and not call her, let alone visit. We aren’t that close, I know she used to be visiting near me and not call or check in with me.

My nephew, who lives in Brooklyn, has a little second home near me. He is extremely busy with a high-end career as a fashion photographer,travels regularly all over the world and has a staff of 8 people he supports.

When he come up for the week-end, he is exhausted.

Sometimes I bump into him and his lady in town (pop. 3000); it’s fine. We have family gatherings at the big holidays and at random.

I am pleased that he feels free to enjoy his week-ends on his own. His mom is near-by and she too leaves him be.

We are delighted that he chose to build near us; that does not obligate him to hang out with us. He hasn’t found either the time or energy yet to put the finishing touches on the house. Xmas dinner was on card tables with bridge chairs we toted over..

My Uncle lives in Covina, California, which isn’t far from Disneyland.
When we go to the park, we always mean to shoot over to his house for a visit, but we rarely do.

I don’t think so, but it is possible I might have once or twice? My aunt, sister and grandma all lived in Manhattan, and I am pretty sure I saw all of them when I was in the city, but it is possible I didn’t see my aunt once or twice. It isn’t very clear in my memory. I love her, love being with her, and not seeing her would only be because I had very little time.

It wouldn’t surpise me if we went to see my MIL and didn’t see my SIL every time. My husband would not necessarily contact his sister every time.

I am really relieved to hear these perspectives! My sister does live over a thousand miles away from both of these brothers and they rarely get out to her neck of the woods. But it is good to know that there isn’t always animosity associated with not seeing her. I just can’t imagine going home and not stopping by for at least an hour or so.

When I was in San Diego a couple of weeks ago, I only visited my Mother In Law. My sister-in-law took time out from her vigil with her son in the hospital to join us for dinner at a nice restaurant and brought her oldest son. I didn’t get to see any of the rest of the family.

Yes. I felt guilty about not calling, but not enough to actually call.

My best friend lives in another city, my aunt and uncle also live in that city. We go to visit my aunt and uncle on major holidays and for other family events, and they also come to our house for the same reasons, but when I go to that city to visit my girlfriend, we usually have very specific plans, like going to a concert, out to dinner at a vegetarian restaurant and over to see some of our other mutual friends, I wouldn’t have the time to also visit my relatives.

We also have other relatives that live in another city, but they like to come out here to go to the beach or Disneyland or other touristy stuff with their own immediate families and it’s totally fine, I wouldn’t expect them to drop by our house just because they were in the area. We also get together with them multiple times during the year for family events.

Typically my work trips are so packed (client dinners, late night prep work into the wee hours, lonnnng days of meetings) that I can’t find time to sleep or eat properly, much less see friends or family in the town I’m in.. I feel bad, but if they find out I was in town & didn’t stop by I’ll typically send a note (usually on FB) explaining that it was all work & no fun—but hope to see them next time.
But, that’s due to time constraints.

I can, however, think of a few times where I was on vacation / days off and didn’t want to visit anyone so I intentionally didn’t contact them. It’s not meant as an insult, honestly, it’s because the only way I can truly be refreshed/relax is on my own. (I’m very introverted.) Is it possible your brothers wanted to be back in their hometown, but not visit with people just to have some “down time”?
Esp. when it comes to hometowns..I can imagine where a person might want to have a nostalgia-trip (eat at a specific place you remember, go drive past where your high-school sweetheart lived) all on their own without having to socialize with family..

I’ve thought about it but I haven’t done it. My brother was talking about visiting Indonesia for a holiday (which is next door to Australia pretty much) and wasn’t planning to come here. I was a bit upset about that (hadn’t seen him for about 27 years). I’d feel too guilty if I hadn’t seen them for a long time.

My brother-in-law does it all the time, I used to get mad, but then I realized if he comes to town to visit friends or other family members, he’s not required to check in with us, he’s a big boy now.