At which point do you walk away? (Adult child abuse of parents).

Child or not I don’t think anyone should just put up with abuse. If I wouldn’t put up with behaviour from a non-family member, I won’t put up with it from someone in my family. I might give them a bit more leeway but stealing from me, physically attacking me or verbally abusing me – no. I would cut off contact. Even if it was my child.

I don’t speak to members of my family now because I believe the relationship was toxic. I also told my son to move out when he pushed things too far in terms of not getting a job, taking things that weren’t his etc. He thanked me the other day and said I was absolutely right. He wasn’t abusive in the ways you suggest, but he was taking our good natures for granted and it went on too long. There was a final breaking-point event but the decision was based on his long term behaviour.

I’m sure I would try to get help for the adult child to help them address their issues and to express them more effectively. I know that my son had a lot of anger towards me when he was younger – some deserved, but most just a product of his youthful interpretations of the events in our family. I have tried to help him learn healthy ways to handle it and to discuss the situations as he grew up and could better grasp the complexities of alcoholism and divorce. He is still high-strung, but nowhere near as bad as he was when he was a teenager. Still, I sometimes wonder if he’s keeping things suppressed and might blow up one day.

If that we’re to happen, I am sure I would do everything I could to convince him to get help – and for us to get counseling together in order to develop greater understanding between us. If he were resistant to getting help or to comply with treatment and abuse continued, there’d come a point where concerns for my own sanity and serenity would eclipse concerns for his.

How to cut the ties is an entirely different issue, though. I would probably approach it similarly to how I approached divorce and other breakups, and start to detach emotionally and to develop techniques to keep myself from taking their emotional bait and getting drawn back in. Counseling for yourself is probably very beneficial during such an emotionally-wrenching time.

The abuser should be reported. They have committed a crime.

While I’d never stop loving my child, I wouldn’t allow that kind of behavior to happen for very long. If they didn’t see the problem, and refused to get help for it, I would have to walk away. I’d tell them that if and when things are different, they are welcome back in my life.

I’m pretty sure that there’s some full-weight-of-the-law that you can call down on the abuser. Read up on the fallout so you know what to prepare for.

The parents need a mediator or counsellor to :
1. Keep a record of the abuse.
2. Obtain protection from the police.
3. Prevent further abuse of others as well.
4. For Court, should it come to that.
Sometimes the abused threatens to take all their monies,possessions,house,bank accounts,more physical abuse, death etc
I suggest giving the parents phamplets with information on how to go about helping them get out of this destructive relationship in a safe way.