That is not me?

I had missed a meeting without notice and had to apologize. I said those exact words as I explained my lapse. The leader agreed and I was forgiven. I’m usually very responsible but was distracted by circumstances. I’m still distracted, but trying hard not to have it affect others.

We have all been there. Those who claim they haven’t are just liars along with their other failings. :-)

What does that even mean?
Is that like when you see a video of you doing something you don’t remember doing?

I work with a woman whom nobody likes. She’s condescending, loud, hypocritical, and one of those “small amount of power = above everybody”

I know so many people who struggle with weight issues, I never thought I’d be the one to make a “fat-joke” about her. Everybody laughed and I felt terrible. Her weight isn’t the issue I have with her behavior.

That wasn’t “me”.

All the time. I can’t escape it. I don’t know who I am but I have an idea of who I wanna be. Yet it hurts. Cause sometimes I don’t fit. In any shapes or forms. And I say that is not me…

@Sunny2 It sounds as if you have a lot on your plate. I hope your wife makes a speedy recovery.

@ETpro I dunno some people just seen so accepting of themselves they never stumble. Or they never have any preconcieved notions of themselves… Though maybe I just haven’t seen them vulnerable.

@TinyChi Maybe in a way. But more you catch yourself violating your ethical code and you startle yourself. Or faced with a situation where one feels compelled or forced to act in a manner that is out of character.

@Blueroses I feel you there.

@lovelessness That is touching and sincere, thank you.

@lovelessness Many of us struggle with what you just put into words. Those words don’t even fully describe what I think you mean.

We wear masks and put on performances for what we’re expected to do. There are so very few people who let us throw away all pretense.

Damn, that sounded pretentious but that’s just how I actually speak. No, it isn’t. I talk like people around me. Down-home folks. I fit into where I am.
Sure ‘nuf

Looking in a mirror when drunk, “who da fuck dat? You talkin to me?”

A few weeks back. I was highly irritable for about 2 days. I had to keep my words on lockdown because I wanted to lash out about every little thing. Every time I was about to say something negative, I kept having to remind myself that this was not my normal behavior. The last time I was like that was during my first pregnancy. Since I am on the threshold of menopause, I figured it probably just meant my hormones were out of sorts. Luckily it passed in only 2 days and I recognized my behavior was not my usual self. Hopefully it won’t be like when I was pregnant. That person was a nut case. That was not me!

Was she saying it in the sense that she was facing the discovery of who she was, or in the sense that she was denying what someone else had said about her? Maybe she’s right, and it isn’t her.

Sometimes I look back on decisions I made when I was younger and wonder who in the heck would do that? That’s not me! How did I end up with three kids at 23?

We all have braking points in our life where we say unkind things at a time when we have had enough.
We are human with foibles(A minor weakness or eccentricity in someone’s character) and expecting everyone to adhere to appropriate behaviour ALL the time is unreasonable.
At least we are able to think on things later to stop future episodes that hurt oneself more than the person that the remarks were directed at.
We learn and experience as we grow.
I have learned to walk away silently without showing a critical or disrespectful attitude.

@Pandora Good luck I am glad you were able to maintain.

@glacial Her husband was talking about her and the work she did. Maybe a little of both… She said it so emphatically and without a smile. But it wasn’t negative in my point of view.. Anyway when I tried to ask her about she dismissed it. It left an impression. Certainity and denial or the beginning of change?

@Judi Sometimes I wonder how I lived through my late teens and early twenties. Memories!

@Inspired_2write Too true. Though I rarely do the last when I am with people I care about esp but in general. I may understand or think I do their perspective yet…. I refuse to walk on eggshells for the rest of my life.