Any of you got married over 40 for the first or second time?

I have an auntie who got married at 62. I think this is number 4 for her and 2 for her husband,

I know several people who’ve married or remarried at over 50 years of age. I remarried when I was nearly 40, myself. None of us ever felt the least bit embarrassed by it. Finding love is a fantastic thing, at any age!

I didn’t get married at 40, but at around age 39 or 40 (I don’t remember exactly which year) I went shopping for a wedding band for my husband. I found one I liked and brought him in a few days later to see it. It never would occur to me anyone would look at me sideways. They would have no idea if we were already married or not. When he came to look at it, he wasn’t sold on the one I had picked, but I did glance down at a diamond ring I really liked. We bought it on the spot, which is extremely unusual for me. Anyway, the salesperson didn’t know we were already married for 15 years. I have two friends who bought new rings after many years of marriage. They could now afford bigger diamonds, or wanted a new style. Buying a ring in your forties isn’t unsual.

Not that I can think of, but I never saw a jeweler who wasn’t happy to sell you anything you wanted. I had to rebuy my wedding band when I was 35. It was my third ring. I lost the first two. I think I was more embarrassed about losing the rings than having to buy another one. My husband got a new wedding band 2 years ago. If anything the girl tried to convince him to purchase a larger more elaborate wedding band. If she was looking sideways, it was maybe as she looked for more expensive rings. LOL
Oh, I did go to the wedding of an older couple. It was her second wedding and his first. They were probably somewhere in their 50’s. It was a lovely little backyard ceremony. I don’t think anyone thought it was odd. Everyone was very happy for the bride and groom.

I’ll let you know if it happens…

My fiance is 48 and I’m 50. It will be the first marriage for both of us. There is nothing embarrassing about it. If someone were to ask what it feels like getting married for the first time at this age, the response would be that it was worth the wait.

As for the rings, I suspect that a jewelry store attendant isn’t going to bat an eye at the age of the purchaser. They have probably seen and heard every situation under the sun.

There are two situations where I can think of age being a factor of embarrassment when it came to a marriage. One is if there is a severe age gap. The other happened to a school friend. When his elderly father died, his mother married his uncle (his father’s brother). “Hi, meet my cousin Tom. He’s also my step-brother.”

I was about 40. No, I wasn’t embarrased at all. Divorce is so common now there are lots of people getting married later in life. My husband got married for the first time and he was over 40.

When you shop for rings, the last thing that should be on your mind is the salesperson’s opinion of you. Who cares what they think? Anyway, if they are going to judge their customers for shopping for rings, they will soon find themselves out of a job. Their entire function is to make sure that you are happy with your choice.

Even at that, I don’t know who would “look sideways” at an older couple getting married. It’s not that unusual.

I have a friend who was more than 50 when she met and married her husband. they are very happy.

Yes. And thanks for reminding me of the mistake.

We were both close to 40 when I married for the second time.
But we had our rings made by a friend who’s an artisan.

If I were shopping for wedding rings I’d expect nothing but respectful treatment from the shop agents. If anyone thinks there’s something wrong with your marriage then they should not get your business. There are plenty of jewelers and most of them will be glad to accommodate you without any ‘attitude’.

I got remarried at 45. I didn’t really think about what the jeweler who sold us the rings was doing. I was so excited about meeting and marrying the love of my life I wasn’t thinking at all about what anyone else thought!

My mother remarried at 67, (it lasted for two months and they didn’t seem focused on rings).

A number of my college classmates have also done it, and more successfully, in their late sixties, early seventies. No one ever mentioned the jeweler either.

If you cannot eliminate the ” should have’s” by the time you are fifty, you have some work to do (which should have been done in high school). No one is looking at you.

I am in my late 40s and divorced. My fiancé is just 50 and never married. We found my engagement ring at an auction, so there were no salespeople there. However, we were recently in a jewelry store for watch battery replacements, and looked around while they did that. The salespeople were very nice and did not give us any odd looks. We looked at the wedding sets and one of the sales staff said that they custom design wedding bands to go with unique rings like mine, and showed is some examples. There was no awkwardness at all – but perhaps we wouldn’t even notice it because we couldn’t care less what others think.

My wife and I got married for the first and last time when I was 40 years and 22 days old. My wife was 39 years and 354 days old. I never felt embarrassed about any aspect of our marriage. My wife is 100% Chinese and she looked much younger than her age (still does). The jeweler may have thought that I was robbing the cradle when we bought her wedding ring. HA! I don’t wear rings or any other jewelry. For the wedding ceremony I just used my Grandfather’s ring.

By the way, when you hit 40, you tend to just not give a damn what people think about you anymore. Also I’m very glad that I avoided marrying other women in my early years. I waited to marry the right woman for me. We are like kindred spirits and we treat each other like gold. I never thought that I could be this happy before I met my wife.

@hearkat Beautiful ring!

Thanks, @augustlan!