Have you declared your independence from something or someone? Will you share your story, please?

I’ve ended a couple bad relationships; but my true independence occurred when I finally freed myself from the shackles of victimhood.

From a very young age, I was teased and made to feel less-than, this made me easy to coerce into being molested in my elementary-school years. Having been taught that I was worthless, with no other positive messages to counter that, made me loathe myself and feel that I always had something to prove and that I had to be ‘useful’ to someone in order to warrant any time or attention from them.

My metamorphosis did not occur until I was in my 40s – it has been well-documented here on Fluther. I had to accept my past for what it is, and to stop feeling ashamed about something over which I had no fault or control. I had to reassess my values and redefine who I am as an adult. I had to forgive myself for all the mistakes I’d made when I was caught-up in that victim mindset. I had to take another look at the things I’d been through as an adult, and acknowledge that as shitty as my partners may have been, my behaviors contributed to how those relationships developed and fell apart.

I had to teach and re-parent myself how to behave as the person I want to be – rather than reacting reflexively based on poor programming and bad habits. I had to stop seeing only the bad and negative, and learn to find the good and positive in life. I had to accept that I can’t make others like or love me, but that I am lovable and worthy of happiness.

I have stopped playing games within my own head. I have taken full accountability for who I am and what I do in the here-and-now. No pointing fingers, no looking back. I am me, and I am free.

I left a miserable 22 year marriage 10 years ago to a raging narcissist. The most liberating and independent move I ever made. No regrets…oh sweet freedom from evil. lol

After years of working long hours and low pay, I retired happily.
I have been asked to return to assist old employers but have refused informing them
“That I no longer work for others, but I want to work for myself”.
I have goals that had sat on the shelf for too long and now have the opportunity to
realize my dreams.
I have less than a year ,of living within a very tight budget, until I receive more benefits when I reach the age of 65 years old.
I have plans set in motion for realization in the next few years yet.
I am in the planning stages and have taken advantage of this time to do so.
Because of my tight budget I have improved my health considerably and continue with these plans to reach my ideal weight and strength goals, as well.
Future plans involve all area of my life be it health, socializing ,writing,relationships ,travel etc

I declared my freedom my father. But though I refused to see him the wounds didn’t heal on their own. So I had a few bad relationships.. which weren’t hard at all for me to drop like a bad habit.
So bit by bit I have learned like hearkat said to be less of victim. It feels great.

Only a couple more payments and I’m down to only one monthly payment aside from regular monthly bills. Pretty excited!

Freedom from bad ass energy. Was a seven year process. I tried to block it out, but I couldn’t. I was attracting the same types of people, was creating the same old habits… till I got used to it, and become dependent on people who weren’t worth anyone’s times.

But then finally, I became OVERLY exhausted and took action. I got trained to be around people with positive energy and never again mingle with people I felt could be a threat to me. I feel free, happy and independent of that. Hallelujah!

The first time I really declared my independence and stuck to it was when I quit a very unhealthy job in 2005. I was working 70–80 hours a week for $29K a year, and job tasks continued to pile up. I suspected the company was faltering and, sure enough, the company went under 4 months later.

It took me another 6 years to declare my independence again, this time from an unhealthy marriage and community.

These are wonderful stories! I’m so thankful for the jellies that shared. I hope others will chime in!