How can I be a part of the system and be happy?

Read the book 1984 (George Orwell). It will take a lot of pain and a lot of brainwashing, but eventually we all become part of the system.

I somehow feel that all your questions skirt around telling us enough details to really help you. This is far too vague as are your relationship ones. I would be glad to help if I can understand the issues.

@janbb I was worried about it being too vague as well. Thanks for pointing it out :) What I mean is that human beings have created this system. Initially we all are just energy. But now we have countries, we built rules, we made up laws, we have capitalism ruling around us, we are told everyday what we should wear or say or do… So this system for some people like myself is very hard to be in.
So if I can’t fit in this system, how can I be happy in the world ?

I guess you have to find a sub-system within which you can fit. Don’t know how old you are or what you are interested in, but Goths, geeks, punks are all groups that might come to mind. When I was in high school, I didn’t fit it with the jocky kids but I found a great home in the drama club and had a great social network there. If you are older, maybe you can find a commune or social action group to join. Don’t think globally so much as locally and see if you can find one or two close friends if you can’t find a group to hang out with. We often perceive the world as being one system but there are really many ways of being within it. I, myself, am building a new life after splitting with my husband of nearly 40 years and my kids having moved far away. It is hard to find one’s place in the world but it can be done. Start with the things you love to do, do them and then look for other people who like the same things.

@janbb If I want to make a career though I have to be around people who are content with the system 24/7. If I go to the supermarket or walk around town or just meet new people I will have to face the system. It feels like it is something one can’t escape. Sub-systems are there for our best mates and us perhaps, but every time we walk out of our apartments, or breathe or go to bed, we are alone with the system’s forces.

It seems just painful to simply ‘be’ when there are way too many people out there telling you you’d be ugly if you do this, or wear that or say that. Everybody is brainwashed by the system. Originality in a way that’s out of the system would cause one pain (it seems).

Not meaning any disrespect, but I think conformity is more of an issue when you are younger and as you age, you realzie there are many ways to express individuality. However, if you truly object to what’s out there, maybe look into movements such as “Occupy” or Greenpeace to be part of.

True that there are societal norms and pressures to buy mainstream things, and choose a mate based on some commercial perception of beauty. But really, nobody is making anyone follow those precepts, and most people don’t.

And happiness comes from not conforming to some outside imposed standard, but by finding your own standard and pursuing that. Quit comparing your insides to some perceived outside standard.

@janbb it sure is ‘more’ of an issue especially in high school. But I don’t think that it goes near ending as you grow up. But llike you said, sub-systems really help

Welcome to the machine….

Fuck the system!!

Think about all of the intentions that comprise the system—everyone who contributes to its creation, and the care they put into their corner of work. Their desire to take care of themselves and their families. The thought that went into creating the bed you sleep on. The care that went into making the sidewalks uniform and so durable. Or have a laugh at the folly of a modern supermarket. Go to grower’s markets instead, and you will find some life there.

Since when is “fitting in” a pre-requisite for “happiness”? I do believe that people should be courteous of one another, but that is not the same as “fitting in”.

I have been happiest in life since making my choices based on what suits me, independent of the opinions of others. In some cases, my choice might be aligned with what is ‘popular’, and in other cases it may be contradictory to popular sentiment. As long as it does not do harm or infringe on the rights of others, it’s no one else’s business.

System tells us who to be attracted to, what to buy, where to live, etc.
… How can I continue to be a part of this world & system if I can’t be happy because I can’t fit in?

It’s not the system you should be railing against (you have a world of choices to whom to be attracted, what to buy, and where to live). May suggest that instead, you consider tweaking your own mindset?

@Pachyderm_In_The_Room So you’re saying one can be completely fine disregarding the system? Even if someone is ‘original’, many people around us are like the machines of this system. So interacting with others should also be taken into thought if disregarding the system is the case. Can one be ‘free’ if nothing else is?

Read the book 1984

More like read some Derrida.
Deconstruct yourself before you wreck yourself

I am 54 this year and have always felt this way as well. I have managed to live a fairly creative and somewhat unconventional life, but now, as my later middle age cometh I fear I will perish in a tornado of poverty in my older age. What to do, what to do?
All you CAN do is be as true to yourself as possible while bending over just enough to survive at whatever level is adequate for you.

I am really bummed I didn’t buy property in Costa Rica back in 2006, I could be happily retired there now in my little jungalow. Oh well…no use crying over spilt investements.
If nothing else I can say I have had some unique life experiences even if living by my creativity and innovative personality style has not left a pot to piss in at this time of life.
Well..my piss pot was more than half full until the great flush of this toileted economy came raging through like a tidal wave of shit. lol

You’ll find your way and, remember you are NOT what you do, look like, wear or drive.
Get along little doggie. :-)

You are in charge of your own feelings. As long as you seek validation from outside yourself, you will fail. Once you decide that you will choose happiness for yourself, your will succeed.

You choose how you feel, there is no one else in charge of that.

Your name suggests something that would work – fall in love.

Call me nosy, but I’d really love to know the real problem behind all of these questions.

The System can say what it will
But that doesn’t mean you have to listen.
You don’t have to buy into everything The System says.

Truth be told, The System is a liar.
It’s designed to make sure you find everything but happiness.
Why else does it constantly tell you what to buy, where to live, etc…?

How in Hell would it know what makes you happy?

(It doesn’t.)

More importantly, why would you allow anyone or anything outside of your Self determine whether or not you’re happy?

Don’t be preoccupied with The System.
Be at peace with whoever/whatever you are.

That’s where your happiness is.